Friday, February 27, 2009

Here We Go Again

Ok, so first some background. My birthday is in 2 weeks and K is going to be home for that. He asked me what I want and I said "a back rub and chocolate cake."

Also, "Kit" is my old car, which is currently parked at a storage facility until K gets home and then he drives her and puts her back before he leaves.

So, based on that background, here is a IM recent convo between K and I:

me: poor Kit...i should go visit her
k: lol
me: maybe take her to the new house
k: ok
me: she needs some love
k: yes u do
me: me?
k: yes
me: oh.
me: i think i am plenty loved.
k: yes u will be
me: that sounds more like a threat than love....
k: wow
me: and u should be nice to me - I could have asked for a sex-free wknd for my birthday again. all i asked for was a back rub!
k: no u got it v-day
me: u werent here for v-day...that doesnt count

He said I "hurt his feelings" when I said it was a threat. But isn't it??? What else does that sound like except a threat of sex??? "Yes u will be"???? I mean, it certainly wasn't a NICE thing to say...if he really meant LOVED he would have said "yes u are" - but will be means it is something that will be done to me. I'm not an idiot, I know what that means and it IS a threat. And it's disgusting. I hate when he does things like this, because I was looking forward to him coming home but now there is this sickness. Ugh.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Man vs. Beast

Most of you know I am NOT an animal person. I don't necessarily hate animals, I just feel no kinship toward them. I've never had a desire to pet a dog or cat, let alone live with one. And if someone asks if people are more important then pets, I don't hesitate in saying people. That's why this new law in New York really pisses me off.

New York state has just passed a law prohibiting truck drivers from idling their trucks while they are parked unless they have a pet inside the truck. This means that New York recognizes how cold or hot in can get inside the trucks overnight without heat or air-conditioning. New York also recognizes that this can be dangerous for animals who may be inside the trucks overnight. Apparently though, they don't care about the PEOPLE who have to sleep in those trucks. Last night K slept in his truck in New York in below-freezing tempertures. A cop came by and enforced this law - made him shut off his truck because it's only a person sleeping in it, not a pet. Yes, he can run his tri-pac to get some climate control, but in extreme tempertures it's not enough. What is this legislature thinking?? Apparently the environmentalists and animal-rights activists have more influence than people's-rights activists. And of course this law will stay on the books until a truck-driver actually dies from exposure inside his truck.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Still counting!!

1,740 hours to go!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Damn Lies

So, I was going through my receipts to get things together for my taxes and I found a receipt that was not mine. It was for ciggarettes and beer from a store just around the corner from here. It is dated October 23, 2008 and the beer line says "Heineken 24oz $4.99." So I'm guessing that is like a 6 pack or something?? I dunno. What I do know is that this receipt means that on October 23rd, K went to a store, bought beer, drank it and threw out the cans or bottles without me knowing. Where was I? Sleeping maybe? Did he drink it in my car?? This was before I bought the new car so the old car wasn't even "his" yet. The whole thing is making me sick. I mentioned it to him and he just laughed, but it is REALLY bothering me. Does he do this EVERY time he comes home?? What else is happening behind my back?? I mean if he just goes out while I am sleeping, he could be going anywhere! He could be gone all night and I would never know. Maybe he didn't drink those beers alone. Maybe he was gone for hours. What else is there that I don't know?? I want to make a big deal about this and hash it all out but I know that it can't be done over the phone. I just wish I could go 6 months without discovering some secret he is keeping from me. It makes me wonder what secrets I'm not discovering and what I will uncover next month. Like I said, it is making me nuts. Everyone tells me how much he loves me and how he talks about me when I'm not around, but this distrust is starting to stack up and soon it will topple over on top of us.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Better Than Yesterday

So I am feeling better today than I did yesterday...still feeling some "survivor guilt" but trying to just focus on counting my lucky stars (and billable hours) and moving on. So, on a day of news about plane crashes, lay offs and other not so happy things, I give you some shallow random thoughts:

I almost immediately lose respect for couples who have joint email, facebook or myspace accounts. Particularly when they try to make it seem like they are one person. For example: jasonmariesmith@email.com. It's not cute or economical, it's just stupid. Stop it.

Have you seen that commercial where the girl lists all the things she is touching?? "Touch door, touch chair, touch up..." I always think it's a commercial for an anti-bacterial something, but it's not. It's a commercial for kleenex...which also reminds me to get anti-bacterial stuff so I don't get sick and need kleenex. I think Purel should slip Kleenex a tip for this commercial (unless, of course, they are actually made by the same company...then I'm just dumb).

DB sent valentine's chocolates to my neighbor. Luckily (?) they were re-routed to me. He sent some to my sister too. Because she is the "good daughter", he also sent her 2 Infinite-Dresses which are too small for her. When she told him they were too small he suggested she give them to me. I'm sure this was insulting to my sister in multiple ways, despite the fact that she has no desire to keep these dresses which she describes as "togas with hooks." Seriously, his weirdness never ends. I fully expect him to send her the Perfect Strap in the near future.

K's cousin M has a crazy wife. Not crazy like me, I mean REALLY crazy. Like, verging on black-widow crazy. A few weeks ago she threw M's keys in the snow because he stayed out late. He then had to stay out until the snow melted, so that was an excellent plan. When M finally did come home, she punched him in the head with her ring on and made him bleed. She is awesome. Last night K had a nightmare that M's wife was chasing us in her car. THAT is how crazy she is....she is giving OTHER men nightmares!!! Poor K. At least we got away!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Today Was A Tough One

My law firm laid some people off today. Not a ton of people, in the big scheme of things, but still it was rough and scary. I'm a little icky in my tummy but I am trying to be glad that it wasn't me and just keep holding on to my job for dear life. The partner I work for says I don't have anything to worry about. But it's impossile not to worry. Especially when I am supposed to be the one with the money. K doesn't have any, my mom doesn't have any and of course neither does my sister. I mean I know deep down that we will survive all of this, I just hope things start to get better fast. I know everyone is hoping the same thing. Ugh...why can't I still be a kid???

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Dream House

I am building a new house!!! And it is going to look very much like this:


Countdown

1,868 hours to go!!

Monday, February 02, 2009

The Black Hole

So, K's truck broke down - for the 2nd time in 2 weeks. Last time it cost him $250, this time it's $1700. That is in addition to the $2800 he spent 3 weeks ago getting all new tires. Officially, it is now costing him money to work. Between truck payments, fuel, and maintenance he hasn't made any money in at least the last 2 months.

As much as I love him and want to help him, I have officially cut him off money-wise. I am trying to buy a house and I really need to save up for that. Plus, no amount of money is ever going to be enough. His truck and his house (and his mother) are black holes. Pouring tons of money into them for the last 3 years has acheived nothing.

He is, rightfully, miserable tonight. He is angry and scared and probably sad. I wish he was home so I could hug him and make him feel a little better, but that is all I can do. He is about to learn some very hard lessons and things are not going to be easy for a very long while. It definitely scares me too, but all I can do is take care of things on my end. I need to buy a house and he knows that, he knows that is the most important thing right now. So basically all I can do is sit here and watch him struggle. It sucks, but what else is there to do??