Excommunication

So, my mom, my sister and I are officially no longer part of my mother's family. I will tell u the latest, but 1st, the cast of characters. My mom has 3 brothers: Mike, John and Rob. Also, both of my mom's parents are still alive. My grandparents have not spoken to my mom since about May or June of this year, apparently because they are mad at her for getting a divorce.

Yesterday Mike sent my mom an email telling her that Rob is having the Xmas celebration and he was wondering if me & my sister would be in town and would the 3 of us want to come over.

My mom responds that my sister will be in town, but I won't be. My mom says that she will have to check with my grandparents before she decides about coming because she doesn't want to make them uncomfortable.

My mom call smy grandmother and asks her if she minds if my mom & my sister come to Rob's for Xmas. My grandmother says "I don't know. I will think about it & get back to you." Then she hung up.

So my mom emails Mike and tells him what my grandmother said. Mike says "Well, that sounds reasonable."

Then my mom gets an email from Rob "We would prefer it if you did not come to Xmas this year. It would make things easier on everyone."

Holy Fuck.

So today, I got an Xmas card from my grandparents with a check for 50 bucks in it. They included a note that said they are doing well and went to 4 Xmas parties this year. They hope I come visit them the next time I'm in town.

I am sending it all back to them with this note:

Considering the way you are treating my mother, I think our relationship is over and I don’t want to accept this card. It’s sad that when the 3 of us needed our family the most you turned your back on us, but I guess that’s life. We’ve never been a part of [my father's] family, and I guess now we’re not part of [my mother's] family either. Luckily, I’m used to it by now. Unfortunately, my mom isn’t very used to it and is still very hurt. I simply can’t ignore the pain she’s in and pretend that everything is fine.

I guess that’s all I have to say. I’m sorry that you feel the way you do (whichever way that is), but it’s clear that nothing can be done to change it.

Over & out.