Daily Dose of Crazy

Okay, so I have a great secretary. But the one next to her is a crazy bitch. And I don't mean mildly crazy, I mean like hide-under-your-desk-when-you-hear-her-coming crazy. The first time I noticed it was the 2nd day of work, I was sitting in my office minding my own business, and I heard profanity. Crazy lady was yelling into the phone, using a plethora of words not often heard in a civilized work environment. Not you all know that I am NOT one to mince words. I routinely add a "fuck" to sentences that could clearly do without it. But usually not at work, and definitely not when screaming into the phone at work. So I hear her say, among other things, "Look Jackass! I don't know what the fuck you want me to do! Make up your mother fuckin' mind and then fucking call me!" Whoa. So, I thought to myself "I hope that lady is okay." After 2 weeks I have learned. She is not okay, she is NEVER okay. In fact, she has one of these arguments on the phone, at high volume, pretty much every damn day. In addition, she also yells at the lawyers she works for on occasion. That is even MORE scary! I am so glad she wasn't assigned to me!

The latest saga involved her planning a vacation with her significant other. During this conversation she told him "well, if you aren't going act like a NORMAL person than I am not going anywhere with you!" At which point, her significant other began studying how to be as abnormal as possible.

I think she is also a bit of a hypochondriac because she spends a lot of time printing out articles from WebMD on various ailments.

Today, I am pretty sure she threw out a bunch of things I printed. Luckily I am smart enough to just pretend I "forgot" to click print and go back in my office and do it again. I really think that if this woman "accidentally" drove away in my lexus I would just buy a new one rather than confront her. Seriously, she is that fuckin' scary.