Changin' The World

Okay, so I got GREAT news today! Two people (my sister and one of my bestest friends) told me that things I wrote on my blog inspired them to do pretty important things in their lives. It really made me so happy because honestly I didn't even know they were reading what I wrote, much less pondering what I say. So I just thought that I should make a note of that.

Along the lines of "Changing the World", I watched "Pay It Forward" this weekend (while simultaneously studying for my Family Law exam). It's one of those movies that I say I don't like but I can't avoid watching it while it's on, ya know? I really think the end of that movie is unnecessarily upsetting, and that the idea is more than implausible, but I think the premise and message are good. I think the messages about domestic violence are the most important. The idea that not all wounds are physical and saying "he doesn't hit the kids" doesn't mean a damn thing. I also think it brings up the important issues of victimization, guilt, and responsibility.

For the most part, our society is very concerned with blame. We tell rape victims and victims of domestic violence that it's not their fault because it isn't, and we don't want them to be embarrassed. And that's good and true. But it can also cause problems. When we tell people that something is not their fault we also tell them they have no power, and that is bad. They do have power and we should encourage them to exercise it. I think there needs to be a better message delivered. That it may not be the woman that causes the violence, but that she CAN do something about it. We need to be more clear in explaining that the violence isn't envoked by anything they have done, because it's not a rational act, but that they can keep themselves from being the target. And even though domestic violence is just the sub-plot of "Pay It Forward" I think it does a good job of conveying that message by showing the consequences of the choices made. It does seem strange to me that the same feminists who advocate female power then push the "it's not your fault" mantra as well. I don't know why they can't make the connection between fault and power that is critical in these situations.