Let Me Go

Right now I'm watching 60 minutes. Anderson Cooper is doing a story on people in vegetative and minimally conscious states. Apparently there are some developments in "waking up" people in minimally conscious states, using certain drugs. This development is inspiring doctors to re-examine patients who have been thought to be vegetative, to be sure if they are really vegetative or just minimally conscious. Here's the thing, even if they are "woken up", they are still barely functional. They can't walk and can barely talk. They are considered, at best, severely disabled. Developments like these scare me, because I am a pull the plug kinda girl. I don't want to be in any kind of state where I can't make my own decisions. I like to say my default position is dead. If I can't stop you from killing me, I don't want to be alive. But the more "hope" there is, the less likely that someone would be allowed to pull my plug, ya know? If a bunch of doctors say I may some day wake up, then a court may step in and stop my death. In my opinion, I would rather be dead than "severely disabled". I certainly wouldn't want to spend years in a minimally conscious state, just so that some day I may be able to have a few more lucid days with my family. I realize that many parents would do anything to keep their children alive. Luckily, my mother has enough respect for me to do what I would want, and not what would make her feel better. But, what worries me is not her decision, it is her not being able to make a decision because Drs will no longer think I am hopeless if I can live on as just severely disabled. The possibilities truly terrify me. I know new cures are supposed to be a good thing, but in this world, more cures mean less options and less diginity.