Futureness

The other day I went to lunch with my friend, JW. She is in a long distance relationship as well, with T. Apparently, I have "Dear Abbey" tattooed on my forehead because she showed up with 3 things she needed my advice about. (Yes, I did consider charging her $100/hour, but I decided to treat it as charity & write it off on my taxes next year).

Anyway, her 1st question to me was "How are u so sure about you & K?" This question kind of shocked me, because it's only recently that I have become sure...but according to JW, it shows. It took me a bit to answer this question, but this is (essentially) what I finally came up with:

First of all, K and I have an unusual connection. I fell in love with him 16 years ago. And even though he didn't realize it at the time, I think he did too. I think a part of him connected to me in a way that made him jump when I contacted him after 8 years apart. So, I think our love is more mature than our mere 2 year relationship.

Second is the fact that I finally truly believe that he worships the ground I walk on. I used to think it was just corny, mushy crap that he said to get him laid. But now, I know it's true. I hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. He doesn't want to live a day without me, and that is an amazing feeling.

Third is the fact that he has made the ultimate sacrifice for me. He has completely relearned how to express love and intimacy, and how to feel it. He threw out his preconceived notions that sex = intimacy. He has completely opened up to new concepts and feelings, and he did it just for me. It would have been a million times easier for him to just go find some other girl, or ignore my feelings completely, or keep pushing me to change. But he stopped himself, and really truly thought about us, our connection, and what makes our relationship special. And he realized that a million orgasms could never replace the feeling of this kind of love. That kind of sacrifice, that kind of respect, it makes me positive that I am making the right choice when I choose him.

K once said to me that I am the best friend he has ever had. That everything that happens everyday, he wants to call and tell me about. That he has never felt that close to anyone in his life -- never trusted anyone that much. I am his soft place to fall.

For me, I have a level of comfort with him that I have never had before. I know he never judges me, and that he is always proud of me. I know he will never blame me or get mad at me for things that aren't my fault. And I know that he will always take care of me when I am sick or sad, and will protect me when I am afraid. He is my knight in shining armor.

I know that things won't always be perfect. He will hurt me & I will hurt him. We will argue and get on each other's nerves. But I do really feel sure that he is my future.