If anyone is still out there...

I know I haven't been very good about blogging lately, mostly because I don't have much to say that is very interesting. But, a lot has happened these last couple of weeks, so if you are out there - here it goes!!

My best friend got married last week. The wedding was wonderful and I had a lot of fun with her and all of our friends. I didn't cry until I had to say goodbye at the end of the reception. It all went really well.

I was in Buffalo for a whole week before the wedding, which meant quality time with mom, sis, and schmoe - all of which was wonderful. K joined me up there for most of the visit, which was nice. And at the end of the week, K's oldest brother came into town too and we got to spend time with him.

Unfortunately, some really shitty stuff happened too. First, K was moving his truck about 5 miles - from an abandoned parking lot to his drop-yard - when he got pulled over for a DOT inspection. It was INSANE. My sister and I were there, because we were gonna drive him home after he dropped off his truck. The inspection took TWO HOURS and then they gave him a ticket because he didn't write "off duty" in his log book. It's considered a misdemeanor!!! Can you fucking believe that?? So now he has to go back to Buffalo and go to court!! Fucking insane. So, he was pretty upset about that because he doesn't know if he will lose his job over it.

Then, on sunday (the 5th), I flew home and K stayed up there to go fishing with his brothers. I was almost back to my apartment when K called to say that he was on his way to the emergency room because he thinks he broke his finger! He said he never saw a finger swell up so fast in his life, so he was pretty concerned. About 4 hours later he called to say it was just a severe sprain - but it still sucks.

I went back to work on monday where I had a fight with the head of my department which has convinced me that I need a new job. This guy is such a jackass and this is the 2nd time (that I know of) when he has blatantly lied about me to other partners. I don't think I will lose my job before the end of the year, but I've started looking for something new. I've contacted 3 recruiting firms and applied to the IRS for an attorney position, so we'll see what happens.

But the BIGGEST thing that happened this week was this morning - I got into a car accident. I was stopped at a red light and a girl slammed into the back of me. My car isn't too bad, but I have whiplash which REALLY hurts. So, I took this afternoon off and I probably won't go in tomorrow either - maybe in the afternoon depending on how I feel. Luckily, K is supposed to be in town tonight, so at least I won't be alone. Unfortunately though, he just got stopped AGAIN for another DOT inspection. Hopefully no tickets this time though.

So, anyway, it's been a rough couple of weeks. If anyone wants to send me chocolate, I wouldn't object...

;-)

A Little Relieved

I'm not sure why, but I have been REALLY stressed for the last 2 weeks and today, I just feel better.

I think a lot of my stress had to do with my best friend's wedding, which is silly, but it's just a big deal and I want it to be great, ya know? I'm not maid of honor, which hurt my feelings a little but also means I'm not responsible for anything. Still, I think it was stressing me a bit. In the last few days though, I've talked to her a lot and I just feel better I guess.

The rest of it had to do with money - mostly K's money problems. But he is almost caught up on all of his bills now so that lightens things up a bit too.

And things at work are going pretty well too, I have a lot of work and all my feedback has been really positive.

Plus, I finally had a good night's sleep last night. My jaw has been hurting SOOOO much lately and it's been keeping me awake. Last night I tried a Tylenol PM and it worked great - took away my pain and let me sleep.

So, today, I just feel good. Yay!!

Funny Lawsuits

The following lawsuits were filed in central Florida this week. At least one of them should make you laugh.

1. Negligence action claiming the plaintiff was injured when a horse she was stabling was spooked by wild pigs, causing it to rear and land on the plaintiff. The plaintiff was denied worker's compensation and wages while recuperating. After leaving the defendant's employ, the defendant sold the plaintiff's horse without her consent.

2. Negligence action claiming the plaintiff was struck in the head, shoulders and back when a box of frozen dinners fell on her while an employee of the defendant's was stocking boxes in the frozen food section.

3. Negligence complaint. Defendant hit the plaintiff in the head with a bulk mail carrier.

4. Wrongful arrest complaint. Defendant Rice pulled the plaintiff over for a routine traffic stop and wrongly accused him of chewing crack cocaine, when he was really chewing bubble gum.

5. Negligence complaint. The plaintiff was in a hot tub at the defendant's resort when she became trapped by the hot tub suction drain.

6. Negligence complaint. The automatic doors at the defendant's store opened too quickly and knocked the plaintiff to the ground.

Outsiders

If you ask K if he cares what other people think he will, emphatically, tell you no. He is lying. I think, of all of my friends, he cares what people think more than anyone. To some extent, I am fine with that. The only problem I have is his ranking system. It seems that the less connected he is to someone, the MORE he cares what they think of him and, consequently, of me. In most instances this is only mildly irritating. I don't mind "behaving myself" in front of his friends or family to a certain extent. There are some things I will NOT do though, under any circumstances, like wear matching socks.

But the one thing that REALLY bothers me lately is his concern about what his ex-girlfriend's mother, D, thinks. See, this is all facebook's fault. D still adores K, even though he is no longer dating her daughter (and hasn't been for about 5 years now). D thinks breaking up with K was her daughter's biggest mistake. I don't agree, I think they had a TERRIBLE relationship, and it was best that it ended, but of course D doesn't know the details like I do.

Anyway, so D is K's facebook friend and she leaves him comments ALL the time. At first, I didn't realize who she was. So, when she left him a birthday message with his name spelled wrong, I made a sarcastic comment that "I don't know who D is but she should at least learn how to spell your name correctly!" I know it was a bit rude, but come ON, his name is at the top of the page you are typing on! LOOK UP!!! Good lord. And once I realized who she was, she has known him for like, 15 years!!! It's not that hard! Anyway, K deleted my comment because he didn't want D to get mad. And, like I said, this bothers me, ya know?

Yesterday, he deleted another comment of mine (because he didn't want D to see it), that had NOTHING to do with her! WTF?? Why on EARTH does he care what this woman thinks of him?? Or of me?? Truly, she will probably hate me no matter what - just like her daughter does. He says that he and D are "cool" and he wants to keep it that way. But why?? I mean, I get along with some of my exes' parents, not that they are friends with me on FB or anything, but if they got mad at me about something K said I wouldn't give a shit. Why does he? I guess it upsets me because deep down I still think this is a "just in case" move. Like, if things don't work out with me and he gets back together with the ex, he wants her mom to still like him. And I think that, at this stage when he is telling people he wants to marry me, he shouldn't have a back-up plan. But it also bothers me because he would NEVER delete someone else's comment just so I wouldn't get upset. And again, I think he needs to have a better ranking system.

Anyway, so that is just my rant on that. NBD, just annoying - ya know?

Oh, the places she'll go!!

It's official. My sister is a college graduate. She is the first person in the family to graduate from college within 4 years after graduating from high school. She graduated with a 3.9 GPA and stayed at one school from beginning to end. She did an amazing job, and I am extremely proud of her.

I've been to a lot of graduation ceremonies in my lifetime, including three of my own. I think the best I've seen was my undergrad ceremony at FAU. It was well organized and well-paced. Everyone got to see their child/brother/sister/significant other/friend walk across the stage. People got to take good pictures and could also buy good pictures afterwards. You'd think such a ceremony would be easy to orchestrate, but you'd be wrong.

My sister's ceremonies were horribly planned. There were two - one in the morning for the hooding (I've never heard of BA's getting hooded, but whatevs) and one in the afternoon for the diplomas. Only about a third of the class came to the morning ceremony.

Both venues were AWFUL. The sound was terrible, the lighting was bad, and the views were obstructed. At the second ceremony I almost had to throw down with some lady who tried to stop me from going up to the stage to take a picture of my sister.

I wonder why nobody planning these ceremonies realized that the MOST important part, for each person in that audience, is to see the person they are there to see and take pictures. There is no need for FIVE speeches, by various adults nobody cares about. And nothing means anything if you don't get to see your graduate. Particularly disappointing to me was that fact that this school has a HUGE performing arts department...you'd think they could at least organize a good show!!!

But, despite the downfalls of the ceremonies, it was a good weekend. I think my sister enjoyed herself, and my mom and I did well too. We had a couple of nice meals and went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. And, on my last night there, I had a slumber party at my hotel with my high school best friend, JC. We had a really nice night.

So, now my sister moves on to the next phase of her life - grad school in Miami. I hope she loves it as much as I loved law school. And I hope she visits me lots, since she is only 4 hrs away!!

I don't mind you hangin' out and talkin' in your sleep

I think most of you know that K talks in his sleep. Not in the normal sense -- muttering things you are saying in your dreams. No. K answers the phone in his sleep. Then he starts to snore and I hang up, so he can go back to sleep, and then he calls me back in his sleep!! Inevitably, I give up and just let him snore on the phone. Every once in a while he will realize he is on the phone and say something bizarre, but with complete conviction. Usually, it is hilarious.

Sometimes he orders food. "Just a chicken finger sub, and that's it." was my all time favorite.

Other times he insults imaginary people. "What a tank ass!" "Who?" "The girl riding with you, in your passenger seat."

Today he said "Oh! That's why! There were two of them!" "Two of what?" I asked. "Two Stevens! I was talking to two guys named Steve!" Once he was really awake, he had no idea who either Steve was.

So today I told him that I think I should start a one-liner blog (like textsfromlastnight.com or fmylife.com) with all of the random shit he says in his sleep. He did NOT find that amusing. ;-) I, however, think it would be hilarious.

Writing

So, as Tiffany suggested, I have been thinking about using my spare time to write. In theory, a lawyer who wants a successful career should write some stuff and have it published. I'm not sure WHY this is true, since nobody but other nerdy lawyers read anything that nerdy lawyers write, but - just like having to work until 6 - this is a ridiculous truth that I must just accept. The problem is, WHAT to write about. The legal issues that I care about are all things that will either not improve my career (wrongful convictions or sex-offender registries) or possibly get me fired (raising the amount in controversy for federal diversity jurisdiction). So what to do? I searched through a few local law blogs and a few business law blogs today (for those non-lawyers out there, these are called "blawgs" because lawyers think they are cool and clever like that), searching for legal issues that might interest me. Nada. So, maybe I will just write about myself. At least then I can be on Oprah someday....

Stupid People Making Too Much Money

The people I work for get paid a lot of money, so it REALLY bothers me when they are morons. Here is the perfect example.

Every week we get a newsletter with articles written by or about people at our firm. This week someone wrote an "article" called "If I were Obama, I would nominate..." in which he suggested who should be nominated to the Supreme Court. I was interested to see who it would be, and, therefore, was disgusted to see his suggestion: Sandra Day O'Connor.

Yes, the best person he could come up with is someone who has ALREADY been nominated, served, and then retired!! He said "there is no rule preventing the nomination of a retired justice." Well, OF COURSE NOT!!!! But the fact that she retired might suggest, to a reasonable person, that she is done with all of that and doesn't want to do it anymore!! Obama would have to be an imbecile to nominate someone who just retired to the same exact job they retired from!!! Good God.

Of course, the idiot who wrote this article is a partner, making ten times more than I do, to write these dumb ass articles. I can't imagine what his legal memoranda look like...if he even writes them!! Grrrrr.

My Dilemma

I have nothing to do at work today. NOTHING. I "spring cleaned" my office on Friday and expected to be busy today because we had a client meeting scheduled for tomorrow. The client re-scheduled, so I have no work. I've asked all the partners in the office if they need anything and they "will let me know" if they do, but so far, nothing. Now, in my old job, I would've been very happy about this and probably taken half the day off. But here, I can't do that. First of all, I have a billable hour requirement (1180 hours to go), so I NEED work and not having work is a bad thing. Second, I just had my associate review last week during which I was criticized for only one thing - leaving at five. Now, I would like to note that I was NOT accused of not doing my work, or even of not being here when needed. In fact, the "criticism" said that I leave at 5, which has not been a problem...yet. In fact, continued my criticizer, I am always willing to stay late when needed and have never turned down work. Still, "consistently leaving at 5" apparently creates a perception that I am "not dedicated" to my job. Obviously, I think this is crap. I am often the first person in the office, so it makes sense that I am one of the first to leave. Also, I work at home in the evenings and on the weekends. I simply see no point in sitting here just for the sake of sitting here. But, alas, I have been told that "strategically" this is what I should do. So, I am trying to force myself to stay until 6 from now on, but when I have NOTHING to do that is kinda rough. Especially because, also unlike my old job, I can't watch TV in my office. Well, I can, but here I risk getting "caught." At my old job my boss would just be like "whatcha watching??" And then most likely tell me I don't get paid enough and I should just take the afternoon off. Here, watching TV in my office may just increase the "perception" that I don't care about my job. So, instead, I am blogging. Sooooo much better, don't you think??

Psychos

So, I'm pretty sure I've mentioned on here that my boss is a psycho. And I mean that. Well, maybe not a psycho - but he at least has severe bipolar disorder. I've learned to deal with it. He has good days -- where I am his best friend, and bad days -- where I am the biggest moron ever. He also has days where he just hides in his office and ignores the world. Like I said, I am handling it pretty well. I think it's because I learned how to deal with this stuff by learning how to deal with my father. Living with someone like that, I trained myself to expect the worst, but not take it personally. I learned that there were some days when I could do nothing right, and to just do as I always did and not give a fuck what my father thought. Applying that to my boss is easier than to someone you have to live with -- ya know? Once I learned that he was irrational, I just turned it on. My secretary though, she is NOT good at dealing with him. He can be so mean on his bad days and she takes it so personally. I'm really thinking she may quit soon. You can see that it's taking a physical toll on her.

What bothers me is how people can go their whole lives without getting treatment for something this severe, and still be successful. Many associates and secretaries have threatened to quit rather than work for my boss, everyone knows about his "moods", but there are no consequences. I realize that it's not something he can control without meds, but he NEEDS meds, and people just putting up with his behavior doesn't help anyone. I've told him that I think he needs to see someone, but I don't think he took me seriously.

I just hope he does something responsible before we lose our secretary, or before she loses her mind!!

Ten Days

K was here for ten days!! He just left this morning. His truck was in the shop so he was pretty much stuck here. It ended up being a pretty good visit though. I had to go to North Florida last week for work and he decided to go with me. So, we had a little adventure and saw some towns that we really never care to see again! LOL But still, it was much better together than it would have been alone. We got back home on Friday afternoon, and went to pick up his truck - which is all better now!! Saturday night we had a little date night. We drove down to the beach, had dinner on the water, and then walked on the beach and watched the sunset. It was really nice. Sunday we stayed in and watched the new Jim Carrey movie, Yes Man, which was pretty funny.

It was our 3 year anniversary this month (we debate whether it is the 15th or the 23rd, but at least we agree on the month), so it was nice to be together. And then today, when I got home from work, I found the cutest little "love note" from K. So he got himself lots of bonus points this week, and I think we both feel a bit refreshed now...maybe a little less stressed.

Ouch!!

Ok, so you know what's not fun??? Getting a biopsy on your nose. Also, sneezing while they are shooting lidocaine into your nose.

As with most things in my life, this was more comical and tragic than it would be for a normal person. I almost passed out after realizing that cutting an engorged blood vessel off my face would turn said face into a fountain. Also, sneezing meant they had to inject me 3 times instead of just one. And the nurse wouldn't let me stand up because I so clearly was not doing well. I'm sure it's all fine, but it was an ordeal. And now, instead of a big red zit-looking thing, I have a black spot. Nice. You know me - always sexy!!

Measuring Up

I have been SOOOO busy this week!! Last week on thursday afternoon I had 4 "emergencies" come up at work. That meant I had to work all weekend. Which is totally fine, because I am glad to be busy, but (of course) I was sick!! Literally at 4pm on Friday my throat started KILLING me. Saturday I woke up at 3am cuz it hurt so much. So I started working at 5 and went to a walk-in clinic at 10am, which was a really great idea. I got some killer antibiotics and hydrocodone cough syrup. Still, I was pretty sick - and totally stoned on cough syrup. Apparently, though, I do my best work on cough syrup!!

I cranked out a response to a complaint; a stipulation; a motion to quash 14 subpoenas; a response to a motion to discharge 4 lis pendens; a motion to strike; an objection to evidence; a response to a motion for summary judgment; and a reply in support of a motion to dismiss all in 4 days (because I slept all day sunday). And I got great feedack on all of it!! So I am pretty proud of myself, and relieved that I can breathe a little now (literally and figuratively). But all this good feedback is coming at the PERFECT time, because....

This week I had to fill out my first set of "associate review forms." The first set of forms require us to go through a list of "benchmarks" to indicate what experiences we've had, and what we have accomplished so far. As a 2nd year associate I am a level 1, but I'v completed about half the things on the level 2 list, which is great! Along with this is a "career plan" form, on which I list my goals for the next year and make an "action plan" to reach them. It's pretty corny. Like, one goal might be "get to know more people in my office" so my action plan could be "go to lunch with 2 people I've never gone to lunch with." Kinda silly.

I also fill out a form for my mid-year associate review where I list the partners I've done more than 30 hours of work for and then they get emails requiring them to evaluate me. I really hope to get good reviews from all of them!! I think it will take about a month to find out - so keep your fingers crossed for me!!!!

Bienvenedo a Miami!!

I spent the weekend with my sister. She will be moving to Miami in August for grad school, so we drove down there to do some exploring. It was a pretty good weekend. I wish we would have had more time to see more, but we did see quite a bit. It looks like she will be living and learning in North Miami - right near the beach. It won't be cheap but it will be pretty! We came back up here saturday evening, and I got to show her where the new house will be built. I think she liked it!! So, it was a good weekend with lots of adventuring! We even saw some alligators on the ride home!! Oh! And my sister saw a cow running! We didn't even know cows could run!! LOL

Bromances

When I woke up today they were talking about bromances on the CBS morning show. Scratch that, they were arguing. It was 2 guys, a girl and Lisa Bloom (wtf??). Anyway, one of the guys said that the only thing better for a guy then hanging out with his bromance partner is sex. The girl who wasn't Lisa Bloom flipped the f*** out about this. She insisted that men can have as much fun with friends that are girls, or doing non-sexual things with their romantic partners, as they can with their bromance buddies. That girl also said that when women hang out with their girlfriends it is less destructive than men hanging out with their guy friends. She said men encourage each other to do things destructive to their relationship, to get drunk and even to get arrested. Lisa Bloom, who clearly though the other lady was a tad bit nutty, said she is in a long distance relationship and her man has a west-coast g/f named Scott - obvy his bromance - and it doesn't bother her at all.

The argument was kind of interesting because the 4 people involved actually demonstrated how none of them were completely right. They were 4 very different people, demonstrating that people are not the same (duh!). K has bromances, though he would hate it if I called it that! But I don't think any of his friends encourage him to do anything bad. K is his own man, and nobody is gonna talk him into anything he doesn't want to do. Also, I think there are lots of times when he would rather be hanging out with me than with his male friends. Our time is more relaxing, even when he doesn't have sex, he is still just more relaxed with me than with his boys.

I do think that being long-distance helps the whole "I don't mind when you hang out with your boys" thing. Usually when he is hanging out with his boys we are in different states, so it doesn't take away from our time together. And really, I wish K had more good guy friends. I feel like he doesn't have enough people in his life that he can enjoy spending time with, and trust.

I also think that, just like a lot of men can be bad influences, a lot of women can too. There are just as many women who encourage their girlfriends to get drunk or flirt with strange men or do crazy things. It's all about who you are - are you going to have friends like that? And are you going to be subject to their influence?

No matter what, your friendships should not hurt your relationship, and vice versa. If either hurts the other then something is wrong with at least one of them. But the real question is, what was Lisa Bloom doing discussing bromances on the CBS morning show???

Some good, some bad.

My birthday started out fabulously. I got a million happy birthday wishes from so many wonderful people, several wonderful gifts, and a GIGANTIC chocolate cake from my mom. I left work at lunch time and came home, but K was not here. That is when the day got crappy.

K's friend, D, was sleeping in his truck and it got hit by a drunk driver. And, of course, it happened here. So K decided to help him out by delivering his trailer for him. Then he decided to volunteer to drive D to daytona, so he could get a ride back to charlotte. Which meant that we had to drive about 400 miles that night. Traffic was AWFUL, it took over 5 hrs round trip, not including dinner. And the worst part is that D was complaining about the traffic the whole way and, at one point, said "I shouldn't have let you talk me out of flying." WTF??? He was willing to fly home and K talked him out of it???? And how dare you complain about traffic when I am driving you all this way for FREE on my birthday!!! Grrrrrr. My birthday dinner was at 10pm at a red lobster in daytona. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. We got home around 2am, and then had sex. Ugh.

We woke up at 8am the next day because we had to go to the design center and pick out stuff for the new house. I was tired, but K was practically comatose. Which meant he showed practically no interest in the design center. I would point things out and he would just stand and stare. So eventually I told him to just go wait in the car. So he did. About twenty minutes later I had made all of my choices, so I left too. Then he tells me he is interested, wants to go back in, and was just trying to "process and visualize things" so that is why he wasn't saying anything. I told him I thought that was bullshit. When you are with someone you have to say things out loud. Things you say in your head don't count. So either say something or get out. So we go back in and then he acted human. But still, I was pissed.

We spent most of the rest of the day sleeping.

So, it was a pretty crappy weekend. Lots of exhaustion and fighting. K said he had a "great time" because he is always happy just to see me. I told him I was happy to see him, but still it was not a good weekend. It's obvious he was upset by this response, but it's the truth. His friend's bad luck ruined my birthday and our trip to the design center - both things I had been looking forward to for a long time. K kept saying he would make it up to me, but he didn't. So, no, it was not a great weekend. I guess I just have higher standards than him.

Almost Here

K will be home tomorrow. He has been kinda bitchy the last few days, probably because he has been on the road so long. On the one hand, I am looking forward to this weekend. We are going to pick out interior stuff for the house and celebrate my birthday. But I'm also a little stressed. First, because I am worried that I may have to work, which would ruin the weekend completely. But mostly I am stressed because of the sexual tension that's been around lately.

I don't know what to make of it. I've received all kinds of advice, everything from "he's abusive, break up with him" to "you are a bad g/f not meeting his needs." I don't think either of those things are true - but getting such extreme reactions makes me think that maybe this really is too big of a problem to ever get past. Maybe there is more darkness than I am seeing.

I really feel like he is a good guy and we have a pretty damn good relationship. I know that all relationships have issues, and maybe sex is just ours. Maybe it will always be there, in the wings, but we can have a totally functional relationship anyway. Or maybe it is as extreme as some people think it is.

I will say this, there is nothing that makes me more insane than people who talk about sexual needs. Nobody needs sex. I'm sorry, it's just not true. You need air, water, food. You don't need orgasms or sex. Nobody has ever died from not having sex. So don't tell me that I am denying him something he needs. I'm not. Not just because it isn't a need, but also because I'm not denying him anything. He can do whatever he wants with anyone else. All I am doing is deciding what I will and will not do. And no matter what anyone says, he certainly is not entitled to make me participate in anything.

We've gone back and forth over the last 3 years trying to solve these issues and I thought that we had come to a decent compromise. It wasn't ideal for either of us, but I thougt it was something we could both live with. But he seems to be pushing for more and I just don't think I am willing to give anymore.

Clerks Gone Wild 2009!!!!!

We had a FABULOUS weekend in Miami! Friday night I had the most delicious pizza I have EVER had in my life! It had artichokes and kalamata olives and lots of cheeses!!! Mmmmm!

Saturday we went to the beach during the day and laid out in the sun. At night we went to dinner at a wonderful italian place in downtown Miami. I had lobster ravioli and some yummy chocolate cake for dessert. Then we went down to Lincoln Rd. in South Beach and walked around, which was lots of fun! It's a very exciting place!

Sunday morning we went for brunch, another very good meal, and then said goodbye - which was sad.

The only downside of the weekend was the fact that we had the WORST service everywhere we went. Every meal took like 2 hours or more!! I dunno if this is a Miami thing, or if it was just our luck...either way it was annoying and probably took away from some of our fun time. But still, we enjoyed ourselves.

Both nights we were up until about 4am, so I am soooooo tired today! But it was totally worth it. I can't WAIT until CGW 2010...which will be at my house!!!

Reunion!!

This weekend we are having a clerks' reunion in Miami! Most of the clerks from Orlando classes of '06 and '07 will be there and I am soooooo excited!! I know it will be an EXHAUSTING weekend because I have to drive 4 hours each way and then I know there will be very little sleeping. But still, I am really happy to get to see everyone and have some quality time with people I miss a whole bunch.

This month is going to be CRAZY busy. This weekend is Miami, next weekend is my birthday and K will be home, the weekend after that I have my "design session" for my new house and I will probably have to work all weekend, and then the last weekend in march my sister is coming to visit and we MAY go back down to Miami because she may be going there for grad school.

April will be pretty busy too, although that will be mostly work busy rather than social busy. I'm not sure which will be more exhausting!!!

Here We Go Again

Ok, so first some background. My birthday is in 2 weeks and K is going to be home for that. He asked me what I want and I said "a back rub and chocolate cake."

Also, "Kit" is my old car, which is currently parked at a storage facility until K gets home and then he drives her and puts her back before he leaves.

So, based on that background, here is a IM recent convo between K and I:

me: poor Kit...i should go visit her
k: lol
me: maybe take her to the new house
k: ok
me: she needs some love
k: yes u do
me: me?
k: yes
me: oh.
me: i think i am plenty loved.
k: yes u will be
me: that sounds more like a threat than love....
k: wow
me: and u should be nice to me - I could have asked for a sex-free wknd for my birthday again. all i asked for was a back rub!
k: no u got it v-day
me: u werent here for v-day...that doesnt count

He said I "hurt his feelings" when I said it was a threat. But isn't it??? What else does that sound like except a threat of sex??? "Yes u will be"???? I mean, it certainly wasn't a NICE thing to say...if he really meant LOVED he would have said "yes u are" - but will be means it is something that will be done to me. I'm not an idiot, I know what that means and it IS a threat. And it's disgusting. I hate when he does things like this, because I was looking forward to him coming home but now there is this sickness. Ugh.

Man vs. Beast

Most of you know I am NOT an animal person. I don't necessarily hate animals, I just feel no kinship toward them. I've never had a desire to pet a dog or cat, let alone live with one. And if someone asks if people are more important then pets, I don't hesitate in saying people. That's why this new law in New York really pisses me off.

New York state has just passed a law prohibiting truck drivers from idling their trucks while they are parked unless they have a pet inside the truck. This means that New York recognizes how cold or hot in can get inside the trucks overnight without heat or air-conditioning. New York also recognizes that this can be dangerous for animals who may be inside the trucks overnight. Apparently though, they don't care about the PEOPLE who have to sleep in those trucks. Last night K slept in his truck in New York in below-freezing tempertures. A cop came by and enforced this law - made him shut off his truck because it's only a person sleeping in it, not a pet. Yes, he can run his tri-pac to get some climate control, but in extreme tempertures it's not enough. What is this legislature thinking?? Apparently the environmentalists and animal-rights activists have more influence than people's-rights activists. And of course this law will stay on the books until a truck-driver actually dies from exposure inside his truck.

Still counting!!

1,740 hours to go!!

Damn Lies

So, I was going through my receipts to get things together for my taxes and I found a receipt that was not mine. It was for ciggarettes and beer from a store just around the corner from here. It is dated October 23, 2008 and the beer line says "Heineken 24oz $4.99." So I'm guessing that is like a 6 pack or something?? I dunno. What I do know is that this receipt means that on October 23rd, K went to a store, bought beer, drank it and threw out the cans or bottles without me knowing. Where was I? Sleeping maybe? Did he drink it in my car?? This was before I bought the new car so the old car wasn't even "his" yet. The whole thing is making me sick. I mentioned it to him and he just laughed, but it is REALLY bothering me. Does he do this EVERY time he comes home?? What else is happening behind my back?? I mean if he just goes out while I am sleeping, he could be going anywhere! He could be gone all night and I would never know. Maybe he didn't drink those beers alone. Maybe he was gone for hours. What else is there that I don't know?? I want to make a big deal about this and hash it all out but I know that it can't be done over the phone. I just wish I could go 6 months without discovering some secret he is keeping from me. It makes me wonder what secrets I'm not discovering and what I will uncover next month. Like I said, it is making me nuts. Everyone tells me how much he loves me and how he talks about me when I'm not around, but this distrust is starting to stack up and soon it will topple over on top of us.

Better Than Yesterday

So I am feeling better today than I did yesterday...still feeling some "survivor guilt" but trying to just focus on counting my lucky stars (and billable hours) and moving on. So, on a day of news about plane crashes, lay offs and other not so happy things, I give you some shallow random thoughts:

I almost immediately lose respect for couples who have joint email, facebook or myspace accounts. Particularly when they try to make it seem like they are one person. For example: jasonmariesmith@email.com. It's not cute or economical, it's just stupid. Stop it.

Have you seen that commercial where the girl lists all the things she is touching?? "Touch door, touch chair, touch up..." I always think it's a commercial for an anti-bacterial something, but it's not. It's a commercial for kleenex...which also reminds me to get anti-bacterial stuff so I don't get sick and need kleenex. I think Purel should slip Kleenex a tip for this commercial (unless, of course, they are actually made by the same company...then I'm just dumb).

DB sent valentine's chocolates to my neighbor. Luckily (?) they were re-routed to me. He sent some to my sister too. Because she is the "good daughter", he also sent her 2 Infinite-Dresses which are too small for her. When she told him they were too small he suggested she give them to me. I'm sure this was insulting to my sister in multiple ways, despite the fact that she has no desire to keep these dresses which she describes as "togas with hooks." Seriously, his weirdness never ends. I fully expect him to send her the Perfect Strap in the near future.

K's cousin M has a crazy wife. Not crazy like me, I mean REALLY crazy. Like, verging on black-widow crazy. A few weeks ago she threw M's keys in the snow because he stayed out late. He then had to stay out until the snow melted, so that was an excellent plan. When M finally did come home, she punched him in the head with her ring on and made him bleed. She is awesome. Last night K had a nightmare that M's wife was chasing us in her car. THAT is how crazy she is....she is giving OTHER men nightmares!!! Poor K. At least we got away!

Today Was A Tough One

My law firm laid some people off today. Not a ton of people, in the big scheme of things, but still it was rough and scary. I'm a little icky in my tummy but I am trying to be glad that it wasn't me and just keep holding on to my job for dear life. The partner I work for says I don't have anything to worry about. But it's impossile not to worry. Especially when I am supposed to be the one with the money. K doesn't have any, my mom doesn't have any and of course neither does my sister. I mean I know deep down that we will survive all of this, I just hope things start to get better fast. I know everyone is hoping the same thing. Ugh...why can't I still be a kid???

Dream House

I am building a new house!!! And it is going to look very much like this:

Countdown

1,868 hours to go!!

The Black Hole

So, K's truck broke down - for the 2nd time in 2 weeks. Last time it cost him $250, this time it's $1700. That is in addition to the $2800 he spent 3 weeks ago getting all new tires. Officially, it is now costing him money to work. Between truck payments, fuel, and maintenance he hasn't made any money in at least the last 2 months.

As much as I love him and want to help him, I have officially cut him off money-wise. I am trying to buy a house and I really need to save up for that. Plus, no amount of money is ever going to be enough. His truck and his house (and his mother) are black holes. Pouring tons of money into them for the last 3 years has acheived nothing.

He is, rightfully, miserable tonight. He is angry and scared and probably sad. I wish he was home so I could hug him and make him feel a little better, but that is all I can do. He is about to learn some very hard lessons and things are not going to be easy for a very long while. It definitely scares me too, but all I can do is take care of things on my end. I need to buy a house and he knows that, he knows that is the most important thing right now. So basically all I can do is sit here and watch him struggle. It sucks, but what else is there to do??

I'm A Simple Girl

I don't need fancy hotels, valet parking, bellmen, turndown service or room service. In fact, I hate all of those things!!!

What I do want is a bathroom with a door, a shower with a curtain and a digital alarm clock. I would like a hairdryer that works and an outlet to plug it into. A TV that gets basic cable channels and free wirless internet. My idea of the perfect hotel? The Hampton Inn.

What is my point? I stayed at the "W Hotel" in Dallas this weekend - a VERY expensive trendy new hotel in the West End district of Dallas. It was AWFUL. Walking into the hotel is like walking into a nightclub - flashing multicolored lights and loud music. So loud you can't hear the check-in lady when she tells you that you need to use your room key to activate the elevators!

You the take the "secure" elevator up to your floor and walk into a room that looks like it was decorated by the Jetsons. The toilet is in a room with a door. But there is no door between the hotel room and the shower. In fact, there is no door on the shower at all. Just a piece of glass, half the size of the shower stall. This means that if you don't want to freeze your ass off you have to stand DIRECTLY under the water and over the drain. Not comfortable for your feet at all. Actually, not comfortable for any part of you.

The room comes with an iPod dock, which is nice of them. But I'd prefer a digital alarm clock. Instead, they give you a rotary one. How on earth you set the alarm on a rotary clock I will never know.

The room also comes with a hairdryer that is so weak it is the equivalent of K standing next to me and blowing on my air like it was hot soup.

There are only 2 accessible outlets in the room. So, you can sit at the desk but you can't plug your laptop in to anything but an ethernet cord. Or you can sit on the bed and plug into the outlet. Either way you will pay $9.95 a day for the slowest internet access I have had in a long time.

Oh yeah, and then there is the TV which has about 15 channels. Inclduing HBO but not including USA - which on a friday night is the ONLY channel I care about. But whatever.

On Friday night I got room service. Sixty bucks for a salad, mushroom penne and a piece of cheesecake. I know, my firm pays for it, but still that is ridiculous! Eating at the melting pot on Wednesday night was cheaper!

Oh yeah, and did I mention the sign on the elevator that says "16th Floor WET BLISS SWEAT"??
Interesting...eventually I found out that this means "16th Floor Pool, Spa and Fitness Center."

Today, on my last day there, I got trapped in the "secure" elevator. That was a good time. I would have screamed for help but I couldn't hear my screams over the club music.

Yeah, so that was my latest expensive hotel experience. I swear, I will NEVER understand why people pay so much to stay at these hotels that are completely impractical. What is the extra price for when NOTHING is included?? No free breakfast, no free parking, no free internet and no more comfortable than any average hotel. Call me crazy, but I think it's absurd. And honestly, I'm a little pissed at my firm for wasting good money like this.

Please, Mr. President (Elect)

Okay Barry, we are down to the wire. You know I am TOTALLY excited that, at noon tomorrow, you will be my president. And I would LOVE to be there to physically kick W's ass out of the white house. I would even wear hooker-stilletos and jam them up his anal cavity like I was Katie Couric.

But I wish that you would change one TINY little thing about tomorrow - the theme. I get that you admire Abe Lincoln, he was a pretty cool president. He did the whole civil war thing, and freed the slaves. Plus he wore that really obnoxious hat - made even more obnoxious by the fact that he was already exceptionally tall. He was a cool dude (if anyone needs proof of this, they should just watch Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure). However, do you really NEED to do so many Lincoln-esque things??? Eating his food??? Swearing on his bible??? Have you forgotten that Abe was SHOT AND KILLED??? I know, superstition is not an acceptable presidential attribute - but MUST we tempt the fates so???? I am sure you could pay tribute without touching the dead guy's bible!!! Ugh.

Okay, now that I have that off my chest, I will begin 4 (maybe 8?) years of finger-crossing. And yes, I will be coming to you for money when I get carpal tunnel syndrome. I am only an American, after all.

Good luck Barry. Make us proud.

Updates

First of all, I know it's Florida, but when it is 40 degrees out the heat should be on. I should not need gloves INSIDE MY OFFICE!

Second, I have 1,920 hours left! Woot!

Third, why am I so freakin' tired all the damn time??? Could this be related to the previous item?? Perhaps. But still, it is a bit ridiculous. I fall asleep at like 9:30 every night and I am still exhausted all day long. I think I may need to switch some of my meds. Anyhoo...

Work is going fairly well. Busy and sometimes stressful, but all in all I think I am doing ok. I've been really stressed about K's money situation lately. His job is like completely a waste. He works more than anyone I know and still doesn't make enough to get by. This week, after he paid for fuel and made his truck payment, he came home with only $100!!! I mean, really, it's nuts. And the more he works and the more in debt he gets, the more I hate his mother and wish she would just drop dead. She doesn't care how hard he works, she doesn't care how much money he pours into her dead-end life, she doesn't care how his health suffers and she doesn't care that we are losing time together. All she wants is more and more money. A house, a car, a cell phone, cable, big TVs, a jacuzzi, a brand new deck...just anything she can get her hands on. All this time he works and he has nothing for himself. I lent him money to get new tires on his truck, because I was afraid he might crash if he didn't get them. And I don't mind lending him money, but at the same time I feel like by helping him I help his mother and that makes me sick. Ugh. So that's my bitching for today.

Countdown

Thanks to Tiffany's inspiration, I have decided to countdown my billable hours. As of January 1, 2009 I have 2,000 billable hours to complete by December 31, 2009.

As of today, I have 1,984 hours left to go! Tiffany is right, counting down is MUCH more satisfying than counting up!!!

Curiouser & curiouser....

K and I went to the flea market today. Not just ANY flea market, but the most FABULOUS flea market I have ever been to!!! I have never been to one with so much variety and so many truly bizarre things. I have also never seen a sign like this:



at a flea market! LOL (BTW: this "store" was full of antique-type things which you would NEVER find at walmart...but I guess that is not the point....)

We didn't buy anything but I took like 20 pictures. I think K was a little bit embarassed by the fact that I screamed everytime I saw something fabulous. Like, for example, the Kayaks!!! Who buys a kayak at a flea market?? Or the 6-seater golf cart! Seriously, I am going back and taking more pictures very soon. It was a great time. K said "why do you get so excited about weird things??" and I said "Because it's the weird things that make life worth living. Why do you think I got so excited to date you??" That shut him up. Weirdo.