Monday, March 30, 2009
Bienvenedo a Miami!!
I spent the weekend with my sister. She will be moving to Miami in August for grad school, so we drove down there to do some exploring. It was a pretty good weekend. I wish we would have had more time to see more, but we did see quite a bit. It looks like she will be living and learning in North Miami - right near the beach. It won't be cheap but it will be pretty! We came back up here saturday evening, and I got to show her where the new house will be built. I think she liked it!! So, it was a good weekend with lots of adventuring! We even saw some alligators on the ride home!! Oh! And my sister saw a cow running! We didn't even know cows could run!! LOL
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Bromances
When I woke up today they were talking about bromances on the CBS morning show. Scratch that, they were arguing. It was 2 guys, a girl and Lisa Bloom (wtf??). Anyway, one of the guys said that the only thing better for a guy then hanging out with his bromance partner is sex. The girl who wasn't Lisa Bloom flipped the f*** out about this. She insisted that men can have as much fun with friends that are girls, or doing non-sexual things with their romantic partners, as they can with their bromance buddies. That girl also said that when women hang out with their girlfriends it is less destructive than men hanging out with their guy friends. She said men encourage each other to do things destructive to their relationship, to get drunk and even to get arrested. Lisa Bloom, who clearly though the other lady was a tad bit nutty, said she is in a long distance relationship and her man has a west-coast g/f named Scott - obvy his bromance - and it doesn't bother her at all.
The argument was kind of interesting because the 4 people involved actually demonstrated how none of them were completely right. They were 4 very different people, demonstrating that people are not the same (duh!). K has bromances, though he would hate it if I called it that! But I don't think any of his friends encourage him to do anything bad. K is his own man, and nobody is gonna talk him into anything he doesn't want to do. Also, I think there are lots of times when he would rather be hanging out with me than with his male friends. Our time is more relaxing, even when he doesn't have sex, he is still just more relaxed with me than with his boys.
I do think that being long-distance helps the whole "I don't mind when you hang out with your boys" thing. Usually when he is hanging out with his boys we are in different states, so it doesn't take away from our time together. And really, I wish K had more good guy friends. I feel like he doesn't have enough people in his life that he can enjoy spending time with, and trust.
I also think that, just like a lot of men can be bad influences, a lot of women can too. There are just as many women who encourage their girlfriends to get drunk or flirt with strange men or do crazy things. It's all about who you are - are you going to have friends like that? And are you going to be subject to their influence?
No matter what, your friendships should not hurt your relationship, and vice versa. If either hurts the other then something is wrong with at least one of them. But the real question is, what was Lisa Bloom doing discussing bromances on the CBS morning show???
The argument was kind of interesting because the 4 people involved actually demonstrated how none of them were completely right. They were 4 very different people, demonstrating that people are not the same (duh!). K has bromances, though he would hate it if I called it that! But I don't think any of his friends encourage him to do anything bad. K is his own man, and nobody is gonna talk him into anything he doesn't want to do. Also, I think there are lots of times when he would rather be hanging out with me than with his male friends. Our time is more relaxing, even when he doesn't have sex, he is still just more relaxed with me than with his boys.
I do think that being long-distance helps the whole "I don't mind when you hang out with your boys" thing. Usually when he is hanging out with his boys we are in different states, so it doesn't take away from our time together. And really, I wish K had more good guy friends. I feel like he doesn't have enough people in his life that he can enjoy spending time with, and trust.
I also think that, just like a lot of men can be bad influences, a lot of women can too. There are just as many women who encourage their girlfriends to get drunk or flirt with strange men or do crazy things. It's all about who you are - are you going to have friends like that? And are you going to be subject to their influence?
No matter what, your friendships should not hurt your relationship, and vice versa. If either hurts the other then something is wrong with at least one of them. But the real question is, what was Lisa Bloom doing discussing bromances on the CBS morning show???
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Some good, some bad.
My birthday started out fabulously. I got a million happy birthday wishes from so many wonderful people, several wonderful gifts, and a GIGANTIC chocolate cake from my mom. I left work at lunch time and came home, but K was not here. That is when the day got crappy.
K's friend, D, was sleeping in his truck and it got hit by a drunk driver. And, of course, it happened here. So K decided to help him out by delivering his trailer for him. Then he decided to volunteer to drive D to daytona, so he could get a ride back to charlotte. Which meant that we had to drive about 400 miles that night. Traffic was AWFUL, it took over 5 hrs round trip, not including dinner. And the worst part is that D was complaining about the traffic the whole way and, at one point, said "I shouldn't have let you talk me out of flying." WTF??? He was willing to fly home and K talked him out of it???? And how dare you complain about traffic when I am driving you all this way for FREE on my birthday!!! Grrrrrr. My birthday dinner was at 10pm at a red lobster in daytona. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. We got home around 2am, and then had sex. Ugh.
We woke up at 8am the next day because we had to go to the design center and pick out stuff for the new house. I was tired, but K was practically comatose. Which meant he showed practically no interest in the design center. I would point things out and he would just stand and stare. So eventually I told him to just go wait in the car. So he did. About twenty minutes later I had made all of my choices, so I left too. Then he tells me he is interested, wants to go back in, and was just trying to "process and visualize things" so that is why he wasn't saying anything. I told him I thought that was bullshit. When you are with someone you have to say things out loud. Things you say in your head don't count. So either say something or get out. So we go back in and then he acted human. But still, I was pissed.
We spent most of the rest of the day sleeping.
So, it was a pretty crappy weekend. Lots of exhaustion and fighting. K said he had a "great time" because he is always happy just to see me. I told him I was happy to see him, but still it was not a good weekend. It's obvious he was upset by this response, but it's the truth. His friend's bad luck ruined my birthday and our trip to the design center - both things I had been looking forward to for a long time. K kept saying he would make it up to me, but he didn't. So, no, it was not a great weekend. I guess I just have higher standards than him.
K's friend, D, was sleeping in his truck and it got hit by a drunk driver. And, of course, it happened here. So K decided to help him out by delivering his trailer for him. Then he decided to volunteer to drive D to daytona, so he could get a ride back to charlotte. Which meant that we had to drive about 400 miles that night. Traffic was AWFUL, it took over 5 hrs round trip, not including dinner. And the worst part is that D was complaining about the traffic the whole way and, at one point, said "I shouldn't have let you talk me out of flying." WTF??? He was willing to fly home and K talked him out of it???? And how dare you complain about traffic when I am driving you all this way for FREE on my birthday!!! Grrrrrr. My birthday dinner was at 10pm at a red lobster in daytona. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. We got home around 2am, and then had sex. Ugh.
We woke up at 8am the next day because we had to go to the design center and pick out stuff for the new house. I was tired, but K was practically comatose. Which meant he showed practically no interest in the design center. I would point things out and he would just stand and stare. So eventually I told him to just go wait in the car. So he did. About twenty minutes later I had made all of my choices, so I left too. Then he tells me he is interested, wants to go back in, and was just trying to "process and visualize things" so that is why he wasn't saying anything. I told him I thought that was bullshit. When you are with someone you have to say things out loud. Things you say in your head don't count. So either say something or get out. So we go back in and then he acted human. But still, I was pissed.
We spent most of the rest of the day sleeping.
So, it was a pretty crappy weekend. Lots of exhaustion and fighting. K said he had a "great time" because he is always happy just to see me. I told him I was happy to see him, but still it was not a good weekend. It's obvious he was upset by this response, but it's the truth. His friend's bad luck ruined my birthday and our trip to the design center - both things I had been looking forward to for a long time. K kept saying he would make it up to me, but he didn't. So, no, it was not a great weekend. I guess I just have higher standards than him.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Almost Here
K will be home tomorrow. He has been kinda bitchy the last few days, probably because he has been on the road so long. On the one hand, I am looking forward to this weekend. We are going to pick out interior stuff for the house and celebrate my birthday. But I'm also a little stressed. First, because I am worried that I may have to work, which would ruin the weekend completely. But mostly I am stressed because of the sexual tension that's been around lately.
I don't know what to make of it. I've received all kinds of advice, everything from "he's abusive, break up with him" to "you are a bad g/f not meeting his needs." I don't think either of those things are true - but getting such extreme reactions makes me think that maybe this really is too big of a problem to ever get past. Maybe there is more darkness than I am seeing.
I really feel like he is a good guy and we have a pretty damn good relationship. I know that all relationships have issues, and maybe sex is just ours. Maybe it will always be there, in the wings, but we can have a totally functional relationship anyway. Or maybe it is as extreme as some people think it is.
I will say this, there is nothing that makes me more insane than people who talk about sexual needs. Nobody needs sex. I'm sorry, it's just not true. You need air, water, food. You don't need orgasms or sex. Nobody has ever died from not having sex. So don't tell me that I am denying him something he needs. I'm not. Not just because it isn't a need, but also because I'm not denying him anything. He can do whatever he wants with anyone else. All I am doing is deciding what I will and will not do. And no matter what anyone says, he certainly is not entitled to make me participate in anything.
We've gone back and forth over the last 3 years trying to solve these issues and I thought that we had come to a decent compromise. It wasn't ideal for either of us, but I thougt it was something we could both live with. But he seems to be pushing for more and I just don't think I am willing to give anymore.
I don't know what to make of it. I've received all kinds of advice, everything from "he's abusive, break up with him" to "you are a bad g/f not meeting his needs." I don't think either of those things are true - but getting such extreme reactions makes me think that maybe this really is too big of a problem to ever get past. Maybe there is more darkness than I am seeing.
I really feel like he is a good guy and we have a pretty damn good relationship. I know that all relationships have issues, and maybe sex is just ours. Maybe it will always be there, in the wings, but we can have a totally functional relationship anyway. Or maybe it is as extreme as some people think it is.
I will say this, there is nothing that makes me more insane than people who talk about sexual needs. Nobody needs sex. I'm sorry, it's just not true. You need air, water, food. You don't need orgasms or sex. Nobody has ever died from not having sex. So don't tell me that I am denying him something he needs. I'm not. Not just because it isn't a need, but also because I'm not denying him anything. He can do whatever he wants with anyone else. All I am doing is deciding what I will and will not do. And no matter what anyone says, he certainly is not entitled to make me participate in anything.
We've gone back and forth over the last 3 years trying to solve these issues and I thought that we had come to a decent compromise. It wasn't ideal for either of us, but I thougt it was something we could both live with. But he seems to be pushing for more and I just don't think I am willing to give anymore.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Clerks Gone Wild 2009!!!!!
We had a FABULOUS weekend in Miami! Friday night I had the most delicious pizza I have EVER had in my life! It had artichokes and kalamata olives and lots of cheeses!!! Mmmmm!
Saturday we went to the beach during the day and laid out in the sun. At night we went to dinner at a wonderful italian place in downtown Miami. I had lobster ravioli and some yummy chocolate cake for dessert. Then we went down to Lincoln Rd. in South Beach and walked around, which was lots of fun! It's a very exciting place!
Sunday morning we went for brunch, another very good meal, and then said goodbye - which was sad.
The only downside of the weekend was the fact that we had the WORST service everywhere we went. Every meal took like 2 hours or more!! I dunno if this is a Miami thing, or if it was just our luck...either way it was annoying and probably took away from some of our fun time. But still, we enjoyed ourselves.
Both nights we were up until about 4am, so I am soooooo tired today! But it was totally worth it. I can't WAIT until CGW 2010...which will be at my house!!!
Saturday we went to the beach during the day and laid out in the sun. At night we went to dinner at a wonderful italian place in downtown Miami. I had lobster ravioli and some yummy chocolate cake for dessert. Then we went down to Lincoln Rd. in South Beach and walked around, which was lots of fun! It's a very exciting place!
Sunday morning we went for brunch, another very good meal, and then said goodbye - which was sad.
The only downside of the weekend was the fact that we had the WORST service everywhere we went. Every meal took like 2 hours or more!! I dunno if this is a Miami thing, or if it was just our luck...either way it was annoying and probably took away from some of our fun time. But still, we enjoyed ourselves.
Both nights we were up until about 4am, so I am soooooo tired today! But it was totally worth it. I can't WAIT until CGW 2010...which will be at my house!!!
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Reunion!!
This weekend we are having a clerks' reunion in Miami! Most of the clerks from Orlando classes of '06 and '07 will be there and I am soooooo excited!! I know it will be an EXHAUSTING weekend because I have to drive 4 hours each way and then I know there will be very little sleeping. But still, I am really happy to get to see everyone and have some quality time with people I miss a whole bunch.
This month is going to be CRAZY busy. This weekend is Miami, next weekend is my birthday and K will be home, the weekend after that I have my "design session" for my new house and I will probably have to work all weekend, and then the last weekend in march my sister is coming to visit and we MAY go back down to Miami because she may be going there for grad school.
April will be pretty busy too, although that will be mostly work busy rather than social busy. I'm not sure which will be more exhausting!!!
This month is going to be CRAZY busy. This weekend is Miami, next weekend is my birthday and K will be home, the weekend after that I have my "design session" for my new house and I will probably have to work all weekend, and then the last weekend in march my sister is coming to visit and we MAY go back down to Miami because she may be going there for grad school.
April will be pretty busy too, although that will be mostly work busy rather than social busy. I'm not sure which will be more exhausting!!!
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