Saturday, December 31, 2005

Reunited

The last 2 nights I have been hanging out with people I went to high school with...actually Tuesday too, so 3 out of the last 4 nights. Some of them are people I stayed in regular contact with, like S, some I saw last Xmas, and some I haven't seen for many years! I have to say it has been interesting. Everyone is doing fine, no big juicy revelations or anything. It's just a weird feeling being around these people again. The major thing I find myself thinking about is what these people will say about me when they go home. I try to be very realistic about myself, I definitely recognize that I have flaws. Altho, most of them are things I know other people see as flaws, but I see as positive attributes. Anyhoo...I think that most people would complain about my ego. I suppose they would say things like "She always has to be the center of attention." or "She thinks she's so smart/special/perfect." or maybe "She's total white trash." and probably "She's gained a lot of weight." But still, those are only guesses. I really wish I knew. Not that I would change my behavior...but I'm just curious. Ya know? Hey, if any of you know what people say when I leave the room, let me know! I promise I won't be mad!! I actually am interested, in a sociological-experiment kind of way.

The one thing I did feel these past couple nights is total freedom. These are people that I know. The good, the bad, the ugly....we know tons about each other. So, not only can I totally be myself, I know exactly what to expect from them. I pretty much know who I can trust & to what extent, and how they will behave & talk, etc. True we have changed in the last 10 years, but our cores are still the same...they always will be. It's hard for me sometimes because people that I have met since I went away to college don't think of me as a "fun" person...but I really am. I know I don't drink & I go to bed early most days...but I am completely capable of being the life of the party. I used to go to clubs & parties all the time, I would dance & be crazy, and sometimes take some clothes off...I just did it all sober. But once I went away to college I had to work hard, and I didn't like being around a lot of drinking, so I got this reputation as a quiet, stay-at-home, anti-social, nerd. But these people, my high school friends, they have no problem seeing me act silly, because that's how they remember me. And that was really great. So both yesterday & today I stayed out until 2am, acted silly, and laughed a lot. It was fun. I'm really glad that I did it, and I may do it again tomorrow night to ring in the new year!!

Happy 2006 Everybody!!

Monday, December 26, 2005

X-mas: Survived

Okay so the "festivities" are over. I am alive, barely. For those of you that know me, I will say this: I had the conversation with my father. The big one. I will give details in person/on the phone later.

Christmas Eve was fine. The grandparents came here for dinner...at 3pm!!! Old people are crazy. They gave us each $100 which was very nice. No fighting. Some gossip tho: My uncle's ex-wife has a 22 year-old b/f. Her son told my uncle "I'm not allowed to tell you his age b/c he's half as old as mommy." LOL How cute is that?? I'm not surprised, they are likely on the same intellectual & emotional level, so it is probably perfect. I just wonder what his parents think!!

Christmas day was a whole other story. It was the day of the big talk. Plus, my mom stayed home to pout while the rest of us went to my uncle's house. Where everyone asked about her & me & my sister had to lie (badly) about why she wasn't there. The evening sucked: bad food & two obnoxious, disgusting dogs. Plus, crappy presents. We were happy to get back to my parents house! (Which is really saying something.)

My favorite gift was from my sister: the 1st season of Roseanne on DVD. We usually do the best with gifts for each other. We went shopping today and I got some GREAT deals at NY & Co. which is my favorite store! I got the jean skirt I've been wanting for like 6 months! It was on sale for $19.99 and, best of all, I fit into a size 10! (Which I celebrated with chocolate! LOL)

Anyhoo, I hope everyone else survived the holidays unscathed. I will head back to my real home on the 4th at which point I will become a much more pleasant individual!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Life In Lyrics

I got this from my sister...all the answers are titles of Ani Difranco songs. She did hers with song from My Chemical Romance. It's fun! Pick an artist & try it!!

Artist: Ani Difranco

1] Are you male or female? Joyful Girl

[2] Describe yourself? Willing To Fight

[3] How do you feel about yourself? Fierce Flawless

[4] Describe what you are thinking right now? If He Tries Anything…

[5] Describe your current boyfriend? Two Little Girls

[6] Describe where you currently live? Out of Range

[7] If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Garden of Simple

[8] What would you ask for if you had just one wish? Blood In The Boardroom

[9] You know that: Falling Is Like This

[10] What's the weather like? In The Way

[11] If your life was a television show, what would it be called? The Next Big Thing

[12] What is life to you? Names And Dates And Times

[13] What is the best advice you have to give? Face Up And Sing

[14] If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Pixie

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Fam

So, I've been at my parents' house for about 5 days now, and truly, that's quite enough. Especially because I already have my xmas presents, so really there is no point. For anyone who is out of the loop: my parents are still married, still live in the same house, but haven't spoken to each other in 11 months. Yes, it is ridiculous, I know. Too immature to make up with each other or get a divorce, this is the story of my life.

So, today my mom's brother & his wife came to dinner. But, since my parents don't talk to each other, my mom never told my dad they were coming. So, he found out from my sister about 2 hours before they got here, and then yelled at my sister for not telling him sooner. Then my mom yelled at my sister because she had left my dad a note, and my dad should have read it, and since she won't yell at my dad about it, she yells at my sister. Then my sister cried. Then my dad came home and my aunt & uncle came over, and I wonder if they noticed that my parents didn't speak to each other all night.

Honestly, this is all just so insane I can't take it! Either get a divorce or have a fucking conversation! They honestly see nothing wrong with attempting to place the burden of their marriage on my sister...making her responsible for their communication. And, while my father is the bigger ass, both of them share the blame equally when it comes to this communication thing. But I can't say anything to either of them because they just yell at me and will never listen or change or grow up. Fortunately, I have detached myself enough that I see it all as just a bad sitcom or something. But my sister still really internalizes it all and it is not good for her. For what they have done to her, I hate them. Both of them. I have been asking Santa for my parents to get a divorce since I was 5 years old. All I ever got was an Easy-Bake Oven.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Stranger Danger

So, this is bizarre and scary. I got a message on facebook today that said "You better change your picture or I'm going to rape you." from a guy I have NEVER met before. And I thought, How incredibly cruel and bizarre. Why would anybody write something like that to someone they don't even know? In case you are wondering my picture is of Eeyore...so it's not like some sexy S&M picture like the majority of facebook-ers post. Not that it matters, regardless of the picture it was an evil thing to say. But, as I say at the end of almost all my stories: And people wonder why I hate men.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Well, tomorrow morning I am off to my parents house. If you never hear from me again, it is likely that I killed them and went to prison. No, not really. I think it's more entertaining to just sit back & wait for them to kill each other. Anyhoo, I probably won't be writing much because my parents' internet connection is even slower than my own! Altho, my good buddy S said that I can come to his house & use his wireless whenever I want, so maybe I will write a few times.

Anyhoo, have a great holiday everyone! I will be busy waging war on christmas with all the other athiests!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Real Life Nightmares

I watched Oprah yesterday. I don't watch everyday, only when I am particularly interested in the day's topic. The topic yesterday was domestic violence. And I saw images that I don't think I will ever be able to get out of my head.

The main story was about a woman who had her face blown off by her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was a psychopath who stormed into her home, accused her of hiding another man from him, killed her mother, and then shot her in the face. The other man was, of course, imaginary. This woman's face is completely destroyed. She covers in with bandages so that all you see when you talk to her are her eyes and chin. When the bandages are off, well it's simply horrible. The stories she told broke my heart. One in particular about how a little boy in a store started to cry when she walked past him, and then told his mother "that lady scared me." Not that it was his fault, he is a child and a woman with her face covered in gauze would scare him. But that is what she has to deal with everyday. I'm not sure that I wouldn't wish for death if I was her. I hope she is stronger than I am.

Of course this wasn't the first time this guy had been violent toward her, and of course hers wasn't the only horrible story Oprah presented yesterday..it was just the most visually disturbing. Of course everyone asks these women why they didn't leave, and the answer is always the same: "I was afraid. He threatened to kill my family if I left." So what choice do these women have? Fighting back won't work...I don't know many women who can physically overcome their male counterparts. Leaving won't work...either he will make good on his threats or stalk her & track her down. The only chance these women have is to kill these men in their sleep, oh yeah, and then they go to prison. Personally, I think that killing your husband or boyfriend shouldn't be a crime under any circumstances...there is always a good reason...but at the very least, ridding the world of these disgusting worthless monsters should get you a medal rather than an orange jumpsuit.

But, since I don't run the world yet, here is the answer: LEAVE! No matter what his threat is, no matter how much you think you love him, no matter how afraid you are, LEAVE! If he is going to kill you and/or your family, he is going to do it no matter what. And there is no real mother in this world who wouldn't happily give her life for her daughter's safety. If you stay, he will kill you. If you leave, you at least have a chance. So run like hell. Leave your job, your home, your clothes, none of it matters. A life with him is no life at all. It is better to be poor than dead, better to be alone than dead. Every second you stay is a victory for him

If there was ever a sliver of a chance that I might date a guy again, it is completely gone now. The most dangerous man in the world is the one you are sleeping with.

Monday, December 12, 2005

5 Down, 1 To Go!!!

Semesters of law school, that is. Today I took my last exam of the semester. I studied 3.5 days for this exam & it took me precisely 27 minutes to complete! Seems ridiculous doesn't it? Of course, I suppose that I only finished that quickly because I did study so much...but still, it is a lot of studying! And now, well frankly I don't know what to do with myself! I sat down at this computer with a purpose, but I forgot what that was, so I checked all the blogs, facebook, my emails, and now I am here typing about nothing! Oh well!

In other News, Arnold has denied clemency to Stanley "Tookie" Williams. Unless the US Supreme Court steps in (which they will not) Williams is set to be executed by lethal injection at 12:01am Tuesday Dec. 13th 2005 (PST). Williams is a Nobel Peace Prize Nominee (multiple times), so he is of course a prime candidate for execution. Honestly, despite my liberal leanings, I am not as anti-death penalty as you would expect. In my opinion, the death penalty just doesn't work and should be abolished for that reason (too many mistakes in our system, too costly, not a deterrent, etc); but I am not morally opposed to it - as long as people are on notice that committing a certain crime could cost them their lives, I have no moral objection. I know there is the whole hypocrisy argument (if killing is wrong, why is it okay that the state does it?), and my response is: notice & due process. Unfortunately, our system has not reached a level of full due process, and thus executions in this country are not just. But really, in the Williams case, your stance on the death penalty is irrelevant. When Williams asked Arnold for clemency, he was asking "Am I deserving of mercy?" Not whether he was innocent or guilty, not whether he had been given due process, and certainly not whether the death penalty is right or wrong. Now, my question to Arnold is: Who would deserve mercy?

It is true that Williams has done terrible things in his life, but he has also done amazing things. I'm not saying let him out, but let him live in prison. He can't do any harm, and he might do some more good. And, if all of Williams' efforts didn't earn him one ounce of mercy, what does that say to other inmates? Why bother making any attempt to rehabilitate themselves if it won't change anything? If winning a nobel peace prize doesn't get you anywhere, why bother behaving or doing any good at all? It hardly seems worth it, does it?

Finally, all other arguments aside, even the Terminator should be afraid in California tonight. Williams, through Jesse Jackson, has asked his supporters to refrain from violence. But, after the Governor's de-valuation of the peaceful efforts of Williams, and in the state that has brought us the most powerful riots of the century, do we honestly expect a quiet night in California? Get your camcorders ready...

Sunday, December 11, 2005

"Post Secret"

Okay, so I will admit that I am a bit out of touch with pop culture, I think it's a side effect of law school, so this may not be new to anyone else, but it was to me! I just went to this website for the 1st time because it is linked to a friend's blog. I found it bizarre. Here's the link:

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

The site posts one-sided anonymous postcards that people mail in (snail-mail) with their "secrets" written on them. The site list requirements for the cards, one of which is that, whatever secret you write on the card, it has to be something you haven't shared with anyone before. My 1st thought: I can't think of ANYTHING that I haven't told somebody! I mean, maybe little trivial things, like the last time I broke a nail or stubbed my toe, but nothing big. I guess that's because I talk too much. My 2nd thought was that people lie...so some of these secrets are not secret and some of them are not true at all. And, after looking at the postcards on the site, they are very involved and detailed artistic works (lots of cutting & pasting going on), which led me to my 3rd thought: how do these many people have this much time on their hands to send a stranger their secrets on mini-art-projects? And wouldn't that time be better spent dealing with whatever issue underlies the secret, etc.?? Most of the secrets are about sex or abuse or anger, only 1 was a happy secret.

One that was posted today is a picture of birth control pills that says "I throw every other one down the sink." I found this secret just ridiculous! Why take any pills at all if you are only going to take half of them? What a moron! What a waste of money and pills! Seriously, why do you do this? Do you want to get pregnant? Just don't take them at all! Are you taking them to hide from your sex-partner that you want to be pregnant? Then you are a sick f*ck and you should not be having children. Or is this your little game with fate "If I'm meant to have a baby it will just happen"?? Again, see the sick f*ck sentence! And why would you put this on an anonymous postcard & mail it in? Instead, you should spend your time in therapy.

Anyway, just my 2 cents & random vent on the absolute horror that is the human race.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

The Mystery of Sleep

I haven’t been sleeping lately. Well, that’s not entirely true, I have been sleeping from like 3am to 5am. This is unusual for me because I’m usually in bed by 10 and asleep by 11…but lately I just can’t get to sleep. Then, when I finally do, I wake up in terror shortly afterwards, afraid that there is someone in my apartment or even in my room. I open my eyes, look around, realize that I am here in GA (safe in my own apartment and not in any of the other places I’ve lived before), and then breathe a sigh of relief. But I still get up and check that the doors are locked and that nobody is lurking around.

I’ve been having nightmares for a long time. Honestly, I think I have had one every night for at least the last 3 years or so. I’ve never understood why, because truly I am happy in my life and generally not afraid of crime or anything like that during the waking hours. But when I’m asleep my brain goes crazy and I never knew why, until today. It occurred to me that soldiers with PTSD lose it when they hear anything that sounds like a gun shot because their PTSD developed due to the trauma of war. And, as ridiculous as it sounds, my PTSD developed because of a trauma that occurred while I was sleeping, so sleep to me is like car backfiring to a soldier…it takes me back there. I only wonder when I will be able to achieve sleep without going back to that night, if I will ever be able to do that. I knew that many things had been taken from me in my lifetime, it wasn’t until today that I realized someone had actually stolen my dreams. And I want them back.

Sleep is like a fever and I’m glad when it ends. ~ Ani Difranco

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Another Exoneration!!

Tomorrow afternoon Robert Clark will be released from prison. He has been incarcerated since 1981, convicted of a rape he did NOT commit. His innocence has been proven through a DNA test, which also confirmed that the real rapist was Tony Arnold, a man suggested by Clark back in 1981. In my opinion, the cops who ignored that suggestion should be locked up for attempted murder and aiding & abetting the rapes of all the women that have been attacked by Arnold while Clark sat in prison. Read all the details of the story here:

http://www.ga-innocenceproject.org/breaking.html

Mad props go out to all my friends at the GIP who have worked hard to release the innocent!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Open Wounds

It seems that no matter how much time passes, and how much my life changes, there are some people that will always be able to just rip my heart open. One of my former best friends is one such person. Even after all the bullshit and all the times she hurt me, I look at her and think that she is just so beautiful and how I just wish I could take care of her, but she is so far away. Not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, and seemingly all the ways that two people can be far apart. What's worse, is that she sounds so sad, and I have tried so hard to mend things between us, but she won't budge an inch.

Honestly, I don't know why she is so mad at me. I think I remember what our last fight was about, and I am pretty sure that I was the one who was mad at her. But, no matter what, I am positive it had to do with one of our boyfriends, both of whom we have thought better of since then. So, working on the whole "Bros B4 Hos, Sistas B4 Mistas" principle, we should be back to normal by now. But we aren't. And nobody can believe it, because we used to be like one person. So, I just check in on her blog once in a while and comment anonymously, and hold back what I really want to say because it would give me away. I can still read right thru her words, and I can tell what is a shield and what is real, and it's hard not to break thru the glass and scream what I know she needs to hear, but I guess that's just how this life will go.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Safety Tips

I got this from another blog. I deleted one line that I didn't agree with and posted the rest. Feel free to take it for your blog as well.

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.

Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about:

if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
don't imply that a woman could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions.
You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, repost it. It's that important.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Fascinating Shmascinating

Last night Barbara Walters revealed her list of the 10 most fascinating people of 2005...apparently she feels that nobody can be fascinating during the month of December, but that is beside the point. Anyhoo...I almost always watch this special, and it almost always pisses me off.

Last night, Barbara Walters announced that the MOST fascinating person of 2005 was Camilla Parker Bowles! Well, I suppose if by fascinating she means ugly, pathetic, and completely without any redeeming value, then yes, Camilla is fascinating. But somehow, I don't think that is what Ms. Walters meant exactly!

I always try to guess who it will be. This year I was thinking Jennifer Aniston (because of everyone's obsession with her break up), or Hurrican Katrina (because some magazine counted that as a "person" in one of their countdowns as a curve-ball I guess), but I finally settled on Christopher Reeve's widow, Dana. I thought she was a good bet considering her long list of charitable accomplishments, the grace with which she handled her tragedies, and her recent diagnosis with cancer. I will admit, I don't have her biography memorized, but as humanitarians go, I would have to say she's pretty high on the list. And, I think with all she has endured she is pretty damn fascinating, and she has been in the news a lot this year.

Alas, I was wrong (I always am). I mean, really, who could pass up honoring good ol' Camilla? After all, she has devoted her life to chasing after a man who is would be referred to as Mr. Personality, if he had one that is. It is rather impressive how they both cheated on their spouses without any shame at all for like 20 or 30 years and then got engaged an married in their mid-50s, and of course, who wouldn't want to honor a woman who would wear such a hideously ugly hat to her own royal wedding? Right. She was the obvious choice.

There were some other strange picks on the list. Tom Cruise was on it for the 2nd time. I guess we are fascinated by the way his brain has turned completely into mush and yet he is still able to walk and talk and even jump on couches and impregnate young women. Kanye West was also on it, because he said Bush doesn't care about black people. I blogged about it, does that make me fascinating? I guess not because nobody was looking. His interview ended on an interesting note though. Barbara asked him to finish this sentence: "Kanye West is...." And Kanye said "Black." Which is true. Although it is a little weird. If I had to finish that sentence about myself I would never say "white" or "polish" or "pasty" but I probably would say "a bitch." So I guess we both identify with our respective minority classifications! Although I think that "bitch" has more to do with my personality than my gender, but maybe that's how Kanye feels about "black." Wow. That is deep.

Anyhoo...I was glad to see Jamie Foxx and Dakota Fanning on the list, they are both decent and impressive people. Clearly there was some sort of oversight in leaving me off the list, I'm sure an intern has been fired over that glaring error. That's all for now. Goodnight.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Exam time! No, really, I'm not kidding. I guess it proves how much of a recluse (and nerd) I really am, but oh well! I really do love this time of year, especially fall exams.

It's kinda chilly outside, so I get to spend two weeks, cuddled on my couch with my laptop and a few books, and just study. I don't have to go anywhere or get dressed up. I get to spend time cooking, so I always eat really well. Plus, there is the constant marathon of "comfort movies" playing in the background. (Ex: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, What About Bob?, A Few Good Men, Where the Heart Is, etc.) It's just a very cozy, peaceful time.

And I like studying & making outlines. It's as if I spent all semester gathering tiny pieces to a giant puzzle, and I spend these two weeks putting it all together. And when it is done, it's magnificent! A perfect picture of the things I have learned and the ways I have changed in the last 3 months or so, and a little path to the next semester, where everything will be new and fresh and I will start all over again. It's all very satisfying.

Of course, the solitude would be maddening if it lasted two weeks straight, because I am quite the talker. So the actual exams are functional as well. A few hours to get out and be around people and the occasional lunch downtown after an exam where everyone tries and fails to talk about everything BUT the exam.

Of course, my happy little hibernation won't actually begin for a week. I still have 2 days of classes, and then a few days at my mother's house for thanksgiving. But, I am getting a head start this weekend, since I have no homework left to do. So, off I go, to my cozy spot on the couch! I think I may watch Ghostbusters!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Yesterday's Tomorrow

So, I got one of those emails the other day about how the generation before mine didn't have cable or cell phones or the internet, they didn't wear seat belt or put deadlocks on their doors, they drove drunk and played out in the street, and they all turned out fine and dandy. The lesson being that my parents are stronger than me because their lives were harder and I should admire them.

But, I wonder if whoever wrote the 1st one of those emails stopped to think about this: It is that generation, my parents' generation, that invented cable and the cell phone and the internet. They are the ones who lobbied for an passed seat belt laws and drunk driving laws. And they are the ones who put deadbolts on our doors when we were growing up and made us stay in front lawn. Why? Because they saw a need. Now, I don't mean a need like food and shelter...nobody will argue that any of these inventions or practices are essential to existence, but they do fill a gap. They make us safer or more efficient or happier or more entertained, whatever. But it isn't MY generation that developed video games and DSL....we were too young! Yes, my friends, it was the hippies!

And true, my parents did have less technology when they were growing up, but were their lives really harder? Because after their generation invented the information super-highway, my generation became victims of cyber-stalking and identity theft. And after their generation sprawled out into the suburbs, my generation had to grow up without public transportation...we had to learn to drive as soon as we turned 16 and we had to take our cell phones with us when we did because their generation removed a good portion of the payphones.

Not that I am bashing either generation. We all have had hardships to overcome, individually and as a group. I just think it's ironic that the very people that invented modern-day technological conveniences, now use those exact inventions (e-mail & the internet) to call us lazy and sheltered. I can only hope that my generation won't do the same.

So that's my 10 cents for today (adjusted for inflation).

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Brain Damage

Well, apparently, although my body is willing to keep on going, my brain has maxed out at age 25 years, 8 months, and 2 days. It's untimely demise occurred around 4:30pm this afternoon as I was leaving school with my friend N.

N was walking with me to my car so that I could give her some notes she wanted to borrow. As we approached the parking deck I realized that I had NO clue where I left my car a short 3 hours ago.

Now, I don't mean that I had a vague idea of where my car was but not sure of the exact space. I had NO CLUE what floor I had even parked on! Literally zero memory of driving into the deck, parking Nemo, getting out, gathering my things, and walking to class! This has never happened to me before!

I figured that it was either on level A or B. I almost always park on one of those levels, and when I don't I usually get pissed that I can't find a spot & I never forget that. So, we glanced around both A & B, and then gave up. Since N knew where her car was (since she is not a complete moron!) we went to her car and decided to seach....yes, we were literally "Finding Nemo"!!

Well, we found Nemo, on level C. Now, what is REALLY funny about this is that level C is the main entrance to the deck, where most people walk into it from the street. But not me, not today! Nope, I had dragged N down the hill to level B and began searching there! Had we come in the normal way, we would likely have seen Nemo, a mere 4 spots from the entrance!!! Yep, I'm an idiot.

Luckily, N is an extremely nice and patient person, so I don't think I completely alienated her at this point...altho I would not be surprised if she never follows me anywhere again! Oh yeah, and did I mention that N had met me last Friday to pick up this same exact binder, only to discover once we got to my car that I had brought the wrong binder!?!?! Yeah, so right now she is wondering how I made it thru pre-school, much less law school! Ironically, I said to N "I hope you don't have a blog to write about this little odyssey on!" (she does not) and here I am, writing about it on my own blog! I guess that's where the expression "We are our own worst enemies" comes from!

Friday, November 11, 2005

Aha!

I understand now! I understand why so many people think Evolution is myth! It must be that whole "survival of the fittest" thing! Clearly, these people read the papers and see how many unbelievably stupid human beings are living today, and then just can't buy into the idea that these morons are fit to survive anything! That must be the reason.

Point and case: This article from the Red and Black.

University students conned out of jewelry, $4,000
By DANÉE ATTEBURY Published , November 10, 2005, 06:00:01 AM EDT
Two suspected thieves didn’t have to work very hard to con a University student out of $4,000 in cash and $1,000 worth of jewelry Tuesday afternoon.According to the Athens-Clarke County Police:
Two females approached 21-year-old Stacy Elzey of Fayetteville outside Target on Atlanta Highway around 1 p.m., saying they found a bag containing $50,000 in cash. Elzey, who did not know the women, told them the money wasn’t hers and advised them to look for the owner and call police. She allowed the women to enter her car and drove them to a Michael’s store, where one of the suspects said she worked. (For those of you not familiar with the area, Target and Michael's share a parking lot! ~CJ) While in the car, one of the suspects said she “needed to speak to her boss and ask about the situation.” She went into Michael’s, while Elzey and the second suspect waited in the car for five to 10 minutes. The suspect returned and said her boss told her it was OK to keep the money. She told Elzey they could split the money three ways — but they needed $5,000 cash to cover “taxes.” The suspects told Elzey if she could give them $4,000, they would cover the other $1,000. Elzey drove them to the Wachovia Bank at Atlanta Highway and Mitchell Bridge Road and took out a $4,000 cash advance on her credit card. She drove the suspects back to Michael’s, where she gave them the cash and $1,000 worth of jewelry she was wearing. The suspects walked away without giving Elzey any money.
Elzey did not return phone calls from The Red & Black as of press time Wednesday. One suspect was described as a dark-skinned black female between 45 and 50 years old, 5 feet 5 inches to 5 feet 7 inches tall and about 160 pounds. She had medium-length hair and was wearing a leopard print dress. The other suspect was described as a dark-skinned black female between 25 and 35-years-old, with medium-length hair, wearing blue floral-print scrubs. There were no estimates of her height and weight. One of the suspects identified herself as Bernese, but police did not say which one.
Police are analyzing surveillance videos from Target and the Wachovia Bank for evidence. The video from Target shows the suspects with Elzey. Lt. Mike Tyndell said a similar incident happened approximately one week ago in the same location. The victim in that case willingly gave approximately the same amount of money to the suspects. He said police believe the suspects in both cases were the same women, and the victims in both cases were young Asian females. Police have no specific suspects, and no arrests have been made, he said. When asked why victims would cooperate with suspects in cases like these, Tyndell said, “I think greed takes over.”
I can only hope the these students were immediately expelled from the University, as clearly they are too stupid to be in college. Life lessons learned:
1. Don't let strangers into your car.
2. A person who has a bag full of $50K in cash, doesn't need anymore cash, don't give them any.
3. Never trust a person who gets tax advice from a manager at Michael's.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Monkey Adventure!

Today Tiffany and I went on a really great hiking adventure! We walked for 2 hours! We walked along a beautiful lake and saw the leaves in all pretty colors! We also saw 5 deer! Tiffany was very excited but I was a little afraid! But it was a really great day. The weather was perfect, it started to drizzle a little bit as we were leaving, but it didn't last and didn't bother us! Even though I don't miss getting up at 6am every Sunday, I do miss our training walks because we hardly see each other anymore. So I'm so glad that we got the chance to have a little adventure today. It was good for the body and the soul, and I really needed it this weekend!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Good Ol' Canadians

Well, I found some information about the phenomenon of which Tiffany has informed us. This site is sponsored by Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance. I have only read the first third of the site, but it seems these are the good guys!!

http://www.religioustolerance.org/hallo_he.htm

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

House of Horrors

A girl at my sister's school went to a "haunted house" this weekend. It was held at a church and simply advertised as a typical haunted house. The girl went with a friend of hers who belonged to the church. This is what she witnessed:

TVs showing video of women having abortions, with a recording in the background of babies screaming. Clearly, meant to imply that the fetuses being aborted were actually screaming babies being murdered. At the end of this maze of TVs was a baby doll with a vacuum attached to its head.

So, this is what I am wondering. Clearly the people who created this display are anti-abortion and think that abortion is cruel and gruesome. However, they also think that it is not gruesome enough when presented on its own, they felt they had to enhance it with the sounds of screaming babies and a doll with a vacuum attached to its head, if they were going to get their message across and dissuade people from supporting abortion and/or choice. And, so this is what I envision: People who want to scare others with gruesome depictions of abortions, watch the real videotapes and decide "Gee, this isn't as horrid as I thought. We need to make it look worse or people won't be shocked enough!" rather than deciding "Gee, this isn't as horrid as I thought. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should learn more about this topic before I make a decision and start espousing that opinion in public." Oh no wait, that would have been a rational line of thought. I forget that human beings are no longer capable of rational thought, only extreme hate and delusion. Doh!

My sister was wondering why a group of people who claim to be out to save children would expose unsuspecting children to these traumatic images under the guise of a traditional haunted house? Is it really necessary? Especially when they are falsifying the sound effects and essentially lying to these kids about a medical procedure.

Well, that's all for tonite.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Broken Hearts

I just watched the "Inside The Actor's Studio" interview with Michael J. Fox on Bravo. It made me so sad I couldn't believe it. When I was growing up, I was a highly emotional & sensitive person, and so I bonded with everything around me in that growing-up-melo-dramatic kind of way that girls do when they are kids. This bonding extended to certain celebrities that were popular at the time (like Corey Feldman, see my previous post on "Friendships"). Well, Michael J. Fox is one person that I've always felt attached to. I feel like I grew up with him. I know, it's a sickness, get over it.

But, it really breaks my heart to see him sick. (For those living under a rock, he has Parkinson's). It's so hard to watch him struggling with his body in that way. It's like he is constantly battling himself. He's very brave about it, and not at all a complainer, but it looks horribly painful. It just makes me so sad to see him looking so old and tired and sick, it absolutely breaks my heart.

I'm sure this has something to do with the loss of my own youth, and the realization of my own mortality or something like that, but all I know is the heaviness I felt while I watched it. (Even more so than when Corey divorced his parents!) But seriously, it really is awful. Especially because, in his face, he looks basically the same as he always has...he still looks like Marty McFly and Alex P. Keaton and Scott Howard....but he looks like he's been beat up or something.

I don't know what the point of this post is. I'm just sad so I decided to write about it. That's all.

Monday, October 31, 2005

NYC

Hello! I just got back from NYC last night! It was definitely an adventure. Honestly, it made me realize that I am truly a small town girl at heart! Not small like "small rural town in Georgia with no Walmart" small, but smaller than NYC. I could NEVER live there!

It's strange because, my whole life, everyone I have ever known has complained about how there is nothing to do in their home towns. People are inherently bored. And when you make suggestions, they always cost money, which leads to the next complaint: fun things are too expensive. But, I tell all you small town complainers, those complaints don't disappear in the big apple.

There really wasn't much to do at all. I mean, we can look at things, it's a big city so there is lots I haven't seen yet, but seeing isn't too exciting...especially when everything you see you have already seen on TV. There are stores and food and broadway shows, but everything is CRAZY expensive. And getting anywhere is a production. There are entrances to the subway about every other block, but the subway only stops every 7 or 8 blocks, so you have to walk the 6 or 7 blocks either under or above ground to get to the actual subway, then walk the same distance to wherever you are going on the other end. Not that it's a ton of effort, but it takes a lot of time, so if you don't have huge chunks of free time, leaving your area is not really feasible. Cabs are quicker, but expensive, especially since you are expected to tip the driver (there are actually gov't signs in the cabs telling you to, although they say you don''t have to). It's just not nearly as accessible as I expected it to be.

So, what did we do? We looked around, walked around, ate at mediocre restaurants, and saw a broadway show. The show was good, but otherwise, I just wasn't too impressed. Actually, if it weren't for the fact that I was so happy to see my sister and where she lives & goes to school, it would have been a really boring weekend. A really expensive boring weekend. The hotel was $400/night, it cost about $150 to fly there, $50 to get to & from the airport in NYC, $40 on Cabs in the city, $10 on the subway, and $30 to leave my car at the Atlanta airport. Not to mention broadway tickets that were $100 each and then food. I would have bought stuff, but that is CRAZY expensive in the city!

So, this is what a learned: I love living in little towns! I love a normal amount of pedestrian traffic, a normal amount of car traffic, parking lots, regular malls and plazas, local theater, local small restaurants with great food and normal prices, and, of course, Walmart. I like that people smile at each other and don't walk into each other. I love that I can spend hours in my town and never hear brakes screech or a horn honk. I love that I don't feel a subway vibrating below me when I walk down the street. I love that I can take my car to the grocery store. I love that there aren't flumes in the middle of the road, pipng up underground pollution into the air. And I will NEVER complain about there being "nothing to do" in any little or medium-sized town I live in, never, ever again!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Lists

Tiffany started writing a list of 100 things she wants to do before she dies, but she only got to 39. I told her she needed to expand some of them, like "Visit all the continents" she has to break up and list each one, so she can check them off one at a time. Clearly, she won't visit them all at once, and lists need to be "checkable."

So, I thought I would make my own list. I only got to 13, and mine was totally checkable! I guess it's because I'm prett happy right now, and there aren't many things that I want to do that I haven't done yet. And most of the things I want to do are just a matter of time, like graduate from law school, move back to FL, pass the bar, etc. So those things I didn't even put on my list. But, I guess I've been pretty lucky in getting to do the things I've always wanted to do.

Had I made the lsit in high school I would have said things like "work at Disney World" or "graduate from college" or "live alone" or "move to FL." I've done all those things! I never really wanted to do bizarre things like work for the peace corps or go on a Safari. Maybe I am too simple minded. I have also considered expanded the definition of "want." Like, I guess it might be cool to go to South Africa or Australia, but I don't put those things on my list because I don't want to be on a plane that long, and I am afraid to eat in foreign countries. So maybe I should "want" to get over those fears and do those things, but they don't really eat at me, so I'm not anxious to do that. I did put 1 foreign country on my list, but I guess I am hoping that I will be rich enough that I can fly in & out in 1 day and not really have to eat there! Although, that would be a LOT of Xanax!!

Well, in case you are curious, here is my list:

1. Go to California
2. Get a PhD in Criminology
3. Go to Pompeii
4. Help my sister thru college
5. Work as a lobbyist
6. Adopt a little girl who feels unwanted
7. Volunteer at a rape, crisis, or suicide hotline
8. Interview a Serial Killer
9. Build up my physical strength
10. Take my mom & sister to Quebec City (I don't consider Canada a foreign country)
11. Buy a brand new car
12. Learn to cook well
13. Be a professor

See, very unimpressive. I feel content, yet lame. Any suggestions??

Catching Up

I always think of things to write about while I'm driving or working out or in the shower, and then I forget them by the time I am here at my computer! How annoying is that? Well, I spent the whole weekend catching up on my regular life, after a very busy week. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, shopping, getting an oil change, and homework. Of course, while doing all that I was watching all the shows I had taped during the week! But, even with all that going on, it was a pretty restful weekend. I got to sleep late & go to bed early, and there was relatively little drama.

I just watched a Daily Show episode that I taped last week, with "special guest" Bill O'Reilly. Honestly, I have NEVER watched the O'Reilly factor and I know relatively little about the man, but I knew enough to figure out that he & John Stewart would not so much get a long, so that is why I taped it! When John Stewart announced the book "The O'Reilly Factor for Kids" I thought he was kidding...he wasn't. Then, when O'Reilly continually bashed Stephen Colbert as "the french guy," I thought he was kidding...he was not. O'Reilly actually referred to France as "The Enemy" and accused John Stewart of making fun of the victims of hurricane Katrina. It was absolutely absurd. I really thought it was all a joke, but again, it was NOT! I wonder how the man can actually be serious, but he was.

I guess I am small minded, but so often I am shocked when I discover that things I thought were fact are still being debated. It was about 4 years ago when I first heard someone say "I don't believe in evolution." I didn't know it was an option, but apparently it is. In fact, the CBS Sunday Morning Show said today that "evolution has never been popular in America." Wow. Apparently, I've been lively under a very large, but hopefully brigtly colored, rock for my entire life.

I am going to see "Spamalot" this Saturday, on Broadway. I wonder how many people in this country think that Monty Python & the Holy Grail is a documentary of medieval England. Although, chances are it is more accurate than the history books being used in most American classrooms. That is , of course, if Americans even believe in "England."

Saturday, October 15, 2005

A Nation of Experts

Wow! I have had a very eventful couple of days! But I am pretty tired so I am just gonna write about this one little thing tonite. Today I attended a Public Interest Conference at Emory Law School. This is the second one they have had, and I have been to both. One of my good friends, J, is a big part of organizing these events, so I like to go and support him, but it's also just a fabulous event.

Today's theme was "The Intersection of Poverty and Human Rights." It's ironic because they chose that title last year, but the topic is so timely now in light of the "man-made disaster that followed Hurricane Katrina." There were 6 panels, of which you chose to attend 3. Then, the finale was a speech by the Keynote Speaker, Lisa Kung. Lisa is an attorney at the Southern Center for Human Rights who practices in the area of prison litigation. Essentially, she tries to combat horrid conditions in jails and prisons in the southeast. Her speech was awesome.

Really the whole day was fabulous. I went to panels on Child Advocacy, Victims and the Criminal Justice System, and Living Wage Legislation. I learned a lot, especially about the living wage stuff, because that's something I don't know a lot about.

The whole day had a theme running through it, though, that made me go back to something I always say and truly believe, and so I will say it here, to my captive internet audience. A major problem in this country is that most people truly believe that they are experts in crime. They think they know who commits crimes, why they do it, who the victims will be, and how the criminals should be dealt with. I have a degree in criminal justice, and the motto of our department was "common sense is nonsense." Because whatever you think you know about crime, you are wrong. And if people could admit their own ignorance, and if we started listening to actual experts, this country could probably handle crime much more effectively. In this country, when we want to talk to a "crime expert" we look to lawyers, cops, or families of victims (Mark Klass and John Walsh to be exact). Why? Why don't we look to criminologists who have done actual research? Because the media wants charisma. And that is the problem with crime policy in this country. People want less crime, but they don't want to spend money and they don't want to treat criminals like human beings. Studies have proven that we could make safer jails and prisons, for less money, if we took away the metal bars, metal walls, and metal cots, and instead used plaster walls and wooden furniture. So, I think, that the answer lies in better collaboration. Lawyers, legislators, and the media, need to invite the experts in and listen to them. All of these non-profit, pro-bono groups that deal with the criminal justice system should have a resident PhD in criminology. The lack of mingling between these fields is absurd. And once the lawyers and the experts collaborate, we need to bring what we learn to the people thru the media. The media likes lawyers because we are good public speakers, PhDs often are not so good at that stuff. So maybe, lawyers can be the liaison, and maybe someday we can break thru the terrible wall of common sense that envelopes this country. Maybe then we will stop treating people like animals, and maybe then we can reduce the number of predators we have on our hands.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Money Changes Everything

When I registered for the 3-Day I thought it would change my life. It did, but not in the way I expected. I expected it to change the way I saw myself, by boosting my confidence and pride. I expected it to change the way I looked at my physical capabilities and my mental stamina. I also expected to create extraordinary bonds with other walkers. And, I am proud, but not as much as I thought I would be...I guess I'm just not as impressed with the walking as I thought I would be. Maybe it's because we didn't do the whole 60 (not that I think we should have, we both would have died), or maybe because I didn't feel so terrible afterwards, I'm not sure, but I'm just not so impressed with myself. And the only walker I bonded with was Tiffany!! Which is of course awesome, but I think most of our bonding occurred in training anyway, not during the actual event.

So what did I get out of the 3-Day? Well, I learned how fantastic and selfless the people around me truly are. Of course, Tiffany gets the prize for walking with me, that was just the ultimate sacrifice and commitment...and she knows how much I appreciate that. But I was really impressed with all the people who donated, and how much they gave. Many of my friends gave more than they could afford to give, and everyone who gave felt bad that they couldn't give more! It was really astonishing. Tiffany was pretty amazed to. I mean, we each raised over $2100, mostly from people who never donated to the 3-Day before. So where did this money go last year? Last year, before the Tsunami and Hurrican Rita, when gas was only $2.25/gallon, there must have been even more money available! I say this money should be spent on buying presents for me. My mom says it was probably spent on crap. But I defend to purchasing of crap...sometimes you need that stuff to make you feel better and it's cheaper than proz@c (Tiffany does that @ thing with brand names and I don't know why but she is pretty smart so I figure there is a good reason for, and thus, like a lemming off a cliff, I follow along).

Anyway, as I was saying, money is important to me, it always had been. I know money can't buy you happiness or love, but it can buy you freedom, which is just as important. I don't mean freedom from prison for white collar criminals, I mean dail freedoms. The freedom to take a day off of work, to go out to dinner, to buy what you want at the mall, or visit your friends whenever you like, or even the freedom to get sick because you can afford time off work and a doctor. Those are very important things, and they all take money. So, truthfully, I hardly ever give money away. I'll spend it on charitable events, like auctions or girl scout cookies, but I never just donate. So I am really impressed by those who do, especially other poor ass students like me who donated $25, $50, or even $100! Do you know how much I could buy with $100? I could go out to lunch, a movie, and still buy substantial amounts of crap with that money! And it's not like we need the tax deductions, we're living off of loans for goodness sake! I haven't paid income tax in seven years!! (I mean in the aggregate, after refunds, etc. This is not an admission to tax fraud!)

So I guess, I am just really impressed with the people in my life. They are really amazing. They took money out of their pockets not only to fight breast cancer, but to support me, and that is really awesome. And that changed my life. That being said, I will NOT be doing the 3-Day next year, so I expect some really kick-ass Christmas presents. I will be registered at W@lmart, T@rget, Bed B@th & Beyond, and your local Lexu$ dealership.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Still Here!

Hello everyone!! I know it's been a while, but I am still alive! I survived the 3-Day, and my mom's 4-day visit! I will write about that all soon and probably post it by tomorrow or Wednesday. Until then...feel free to read Tiffany's account of our 3-Day adventure on her blog! Beware, it's a long one! But, it is very accurate and surprisingly upbeat, considering I spent most of the 3-Day fearing that Tiffany would die and it would be all my fault! Anyway, as I said, my mom was here this week, so the next post will be amusing at the very least! Stay tuned...

Oh yeah, also, I am turning on "word verification" to get rid of spam comments. It's really easy to use, so please still comment on my blog or I will cry!!

Monday, September 26, 2005

Fall Line-Up

Well, as Tiffany noted in her comment, my life revolves around television. It's true. I am not ashamed. I've watched All My Children since I was about 4 years old...actually I have probably been watching my whole life but I don't remember the first 4 years! And it seems like I've been watching Law & Order for just as long, but I believe this is only season 11, and I am 25. So, it is fitting that I give some commentary on the new Fall Season.

First is the BIG disappointment: Joan of Arcadia was cancelled. Joan was the best new show since the West Wing. All the reviews were fantastic and the actors were unbelivable. Add in the fantastic script, and it was just an amazing show. My heart was broken. CBS gave no explanation. I had never heard anything about poor ratings. Instead, they keep crappy shows like Survivor, Yes Dear, and Numbers. But enough of that. Hopefully Joan will be on DVD soon enough and I can cuddle up with the re-runs and feel whole again. Combine that with Homicide: Life On The Streets and My So-Called Life and I will be all set.

Next, is the new shows. The good ones I have found so far are: Bones (Fox), Supernatural (WB), Invasion (ABC), Criminal Minds (CBS), Surface (NBC), and Threshold (CBS). None as good as Joan, but all at least interesting to begin with. Surface was perhaps the biggest surprise...I expected it to be corny, but it is really good & scary. I'm a bit worried that the Sea Monster story won't withstand an entire season...it feels more like a mini-series...but I have faith because the 1st two episodes were so good. Criminal Minds & Bones are classic crime dramas, but the actors are good and so far the stories are interesting...and I always love a good psychopathic criminal. Invasion and Threshold are sprung from the 4400 well. I'm not sure they will be as good as 4400, but they could be. Threshold has great actors, like Brent Spiner (Data from Star Trek), but spends a little too much effort making the lead woman sexy. (Like watching her walk away in a paper gown like she was on a runway, and constant wind blowing thru her hair) But still it's good. Supernatural is probably inspired by Buffy, it's about 2 brothers fighting evil mythological creatures to find their father and vindicate their mother. I only saw the 2nd episode, but it was enough to make me watch again. This week Nightstalker will start on ABC, keep an eye out it promises to be a good one!

Finally, the old faves! Medium is back with a bang! Hopefully her husband will be less whiny this season...but other than that it's a great show. All 3 Law & Orders had fantastic premiers! The most exciting is the return of Chris Noth on Law & Order: Criminal Intent. Noth is an L&O original, he was on before Lenny Briscoe or Jack McCoy! I love him. I am a little upset that they are treating him like the new kid on the block, who doesn't deserve to be in their unit, he was putting away bad guys when these other guys were waiting tables and auditioning for toothpaste commercials! But it seems that he will shock them by staying a step ahead of the game. I can tell his character has a sadness about him, he must miss Lenny like I do. CSI Vegas & Miami are good as always, but nothing shocking. Except that Ava LaRue from All My Children is now on CSI Miami! Worlds are colliding! I am also happy to see Two and a Half Men back, that show always makes me laugh. The only disappointment is the West Wing, which has been disappointing since Aaron Sorkin left, and that isn't going to change. It's even worse to watch re-runs on Bravo, when the scripts were so great, and then watch the real thing and my heart just sinks.

An unusual surprise is DaVinci's Inquest, being shown on UPN. It's a Canadian series that has been on for years, my mom watches it because she gets Canadian channels in Buffalo. It appears that UPN is showing the series from the beginning, which is years ago! I am curious to see how this very Canadian show does on American TV. I don't know if it is showing nationally, so let me know if you have it where you are! Here it is on Tuesday at 8pm.

Well, that's all! That's the new season! Let me know what you all think about your shows!

Friday, September 23, 2005

It's Almost Here!

Well, next week at this time I will be camping out in Metro Atlanta!! How crazy is that?? Yes, less than a week until Tiffany & I begin our big adventure: The Breast Cancer 3 Days. For those of you who haven't been following along, this means we will walk 60 miles over 3 days with about 3,000 other crazy people, in an effort to wipe out breast cancer. In order to walk, we each had to raise $2100 for research into a cure. It was an extraordinary commitment, but here we are! Ready to take the plunge.

I just reached my goal yesterday, I have raised $2115. It's an amazing feeling! Some of that money was from total strangers, some from my closest friends. Tiffany is at about $1800, but she will make it! If you would like to help her, PLEASE do!! Here is her website: www.tinyurl.com/4eojq We are allowed to raise money for 4 weeks after the event, so any donations you can make through October will greatly help us out!

I am getting really excited about all this. I know it will be hard and tiring, and there will be no TV, but I just think it will be amazing. I think I will be so proud when it is over. My whole life I have been slow, weak, and fat. I always found excuses not to participate in gym, I never could play sports or swim or rollerskate, and I was like 14 before I learned to ride a bike. So when I accomplish physical things, it means a whole lot to me. At the very least, it means I am not a quitter anymore.

This also means a lot because I am doing it for my mom. Last year, her best friend Lori died from breast cancer. My mom and Lori became best friends about 13 years ago, when my mom's previous best friend Sylvia died of breast cancer. Yep, that's right...two best friends lost in 12 years. And that is not all. My mom works in a hospital that is a veritable cancer cluster. She has so many friends from work with breast cancer it is obscene. I am really bad at the sympathy thing, so I know she always thought that I didn't care, or didn't even notice. But I did. And this is my way of showing that. And truly, it is making her very happy, and that is great.

The best part of all this is that Tiffany and I are doing this together. Training for this has made us incredibly close, and she is certainly one of my best friends. So much so, that she has conversations with me completely inside her own head without even telling me about them! LOL But thankfully, I can usually sense that and figure it out. But seriously, we will never forget these three days. I don't know if either of us will ever do this again, but no matter what, this will be our first and it will be an incredible landmark in each of our lives. I have friends literally all over the country. It is hard to keep up with everyone, but we make it. We make it because with each of those people, there is something extraordinary that binds us. Something that exists in our friendship that is only between us, so that we don't need the group dynamic to bind us. I hope that, because of this event, Tiffany and I will be close forever no matter how far apart we are. And I hope she will know that when I say my place is your place, I really mean it. Needless to say, I will be taking a million pictures so we will never be able to forget it.

So, next weekend, when you are all comfy on your couches at home watching TV, think about us sleeping in tents in Atlanta and smelling the worst we have ever smelled in our lives!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

I'm Afraid of Americans

So, I have been wanting to write about this for almost a week now, but I keep forgetting! Last Saturday Tiffany and I went to a training walk. It was scheduled to start at 7am, but we thought we would get there at 6:15 and get a few extra miles in before the others got there. It was a game day, but we figured that since the game didn't start until 5:30pm, if we got there at 6am we'd be gone before the crowd got there. Apparently we are completely out of the loop!

When I got there at 6:10am, our usual parking lot was PACKED! People had already set up tents all over campus! The sun wasn't even up yet!!! It was crazy! By the time we found a place to park, it was after 6:30, so we didn't get much of a head start! After we started walking around campus, seeing more and more tents and cars, people parked on sidewalks and lawns, almost exclusively driving red SUVs, I noticed something really strange. Some people had satelites!!!! They had generators powering TVs hooked up to satelites. These were people WITHOUT TICKETS!!! People who came 10-12 hours before game time, to park on the lawn, set up a tent, and watch the game ON TV!!!!! This is by far the most absurd thing I have ever seen!! Well, wait, there was also the fact that all these people were drinking already!

It really was quite a spectacle. I mean I've seen the gameday traffic. It is crazy, but I never knew how early it started. By the time we left, around 11am, all the parking lots were packed with cars and tents and alcoholics. I went home, took a shower, talked to my mom, ate lunch, did some of my homework (read about 100 pages), and went grocery shopping....all before the game started. While hundreds of people sat on campus, drank, and held onto their prime parking space that they got before the sun came up, and that they will be stuck in for a few hours after the game because of the post-game traffic.

There was at least one fatality that night: a 20 year-old boy who was a passenger in a pick-up truck that crashed about half-a-mile from my house. They never officially said that drunk driving was involved, but I think in this town, on game day, it may be assumed.

This whole phenomenon really terrifies me. Not to mention the amount of money people spend on all these endeavors. And I wondered, how many of those people had spent the past week talking about the tragedy in New Orleans and how awful it was; and then thought nothing of dropping hundreds of dollars to see a football game. If all the money that had been spent on that game (tickets, gas, hotels, food, alcohol, parking, etc.) had been gathered and donated to the Red Cross, we probably could have beat Walmart out for top donation. Scary.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Why I Am So Screwed Up

My parents' house is for sale. My mom doesn't know. My sister's best friend called her in NYC and said "Are your parents moving?? Your house has a for sale sign in the front yard." That is how we found out. My sister called my dad. He said "I just put the sign out there to see if we could get a good offer. I won't sell it unless we get a good offer." Well, that clarifies things. If the house was REALLY for sale he would sell when he got a bad offer, right?? What a dumb ass. So, my mom is right now sleeping in a house that she doesn't know is for sale. I know, my sister knows, the neighbors know, Black Mike knows, and now you all know. But my mother does not know. I will tell her in the morning. Let her get one more good night's sleep. Before she goes to prison for killing her husband.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Friendships

Warning: This one is heavy.

I just watched the movie Stand By Me for, like, the millionth time. If you have not seen this movie, you need to get up right now, go to Hollywood Video, and rent it. Your experience of the 1980s is simply not complete without it. If you weren’t alive in the 1980s, you are too young to be reading strangers’ blogs. You should turn off the computer and go enjoy your youth, immediately. For those of you who have seen this movie, your memories may need a bit of a refresher.

The entire movie is narrated by the character Gordy, as an adult. The story is about 4 twelve-year-old boys: Gordy, Chris, Vern, and Teddy who go on an adventure through the woods to find a dead body. In the end, Gordy mentions that he and Chris drift away from Teddy and Vern after they start middle school. The last line of the movie is something along the lines of “I never again had friends like the friends I had when I was twelve, does anyone?” Which, of course, made me think about my friends when I was twelve.

The funny thing is, I didn’t have many friends when I was twelve. Well, I guess it wasn’t funny at the time, at least not to me. I know that the year I was twelve I met a lot of the friends that would eventually become important to me. It seems like that was about the time when a lot of new people came to town. I am pretty sure I was twelve when I met Missy and Megan, and only like 13 when I met Michelle…all of whom I am still friends with now. But really, I didn’t have any good friends at the time.

I also don’t really have friends that I just “drifted away from.” Of course there were people who moved away and were never heard from again. But usually, if I was friends with someone in the past, and I’m not anymore, there is a good reason. There is almost always some vicious, terrible story to go with those friendships…many of them would make good after-school-specials. And, that realization got me thinking even more.

Why is it that all my friendships end in a ball of flames? Am I really such a horrible bitch? Is what the magazine horoscope columns say about me true? Has being born a Pisces made me completely incapable of any productive social interaction? But, it can’t be true…because I do have some friends that I have been with for a very long time. Some of those friendships had breaks in them, but that was caused by physical distance more than anything, there weren’t big fights. So, this is what I have come up with.

When I was younger, I was even more passionate than I am now. Except my passion was less political and more personal. If I was your friend, I loved you, and if I loved you I would do anything for you. I would give you my last dime, literally. I would risk my safety, my freedom, or my life savings, if I thought it would make you even the tiniest bit happier. That is how I ended up living in my car. That is how I ended up walking alone to and from work at Blockbuster in Buffalo snow. That is how I ended up sleeping in the dressing rooms at JC Penney. That is how I ended up teaching myself how to cope with rape, over and over again. I had given away every last thing that I had, including my own soul, and absolutely nobody gave anything back. Now I know that the reason was that I was giving to the wrong people, but that wasn’t any comfort back then. It really still isn’t any comfort now. So I guess the reason those friendships ended so horribly was that I was merely a shell of a person when they ended. I had given away almost all of myself willingly, so whatever had been taken that I considered to be the “last straw,” it had to be something huge. I mean, if I forgave you for totaling my car or getting me grounded for a month, then the thing I didn’t forgive you for had to be bone-crushing. And all that has changed me. So now, I love very differently.

I have wonderful friends now. Some who have been around for a long time and some who are pretty new additions. And I do love them all. But honestly, I can’t say that I would give my last breath, or even my last dime, unless it was actually going to save their lives. I know my friends are reading this, and I hope this doesn’t make anyone angry. But the truth is, my responses have become much more proportional. Like, when I was younger, if I had $10 to my name and my best friend had $100, I would give her my last $10 so she could afford that new stereo she wanted, even though it meant I wouldn’t eat dinner that night. And, my “best friend” would have taken that $10. Now, if I had $10 left, I probably wouldn’t give it to anyone unless they were starving, and even then I might only share it. That sounds selfish and cold, and I know that. But that’s what happens I guess. I have been conditioned to fear the worst in people. Or maybe I just finally learned that nobody is gonna take care of me but me, so I have to put myself first.

I think it is a good lesson though. You can’t take care of others unless you take care of yourself, and so starting with that as your base is probably a good idea. “Put the mask on yourself before assisting others,” right? I guess that movie just made me sad because all those boys took care of each other on that trip. (Also, because I have an inexplicable soulful connection to Corey Feldman that will never die.) They fought, but they always forgave. And I think that if I had been on an adventure like that when I was that age, with the people I called “friends” then, I would have woken up alone in the woods to find my friends had eaten all my food. And that would have been okay with me, because I would have brought the food for them anyway. I guess I am jealous of people who got to have give and take friendships like that. And I wonder what I could have done differently, in the course of my life, so that fewer people would have seen me as a target, and so I would have fewer vicious memories to deal with.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Kanye West

So, apparently Kanye West said, on NBC, something along the lines of "Bush doesn't care about black people." Then, a DJ on a local radio station quoted him and got a whole bunch of hate mail because people thought she said it. Well, Kanye, I am here to serve, so I thought I would help a brother out!! I understand why he said what he did, but I think it's fair to say the Bush actually loves black people...let me count the ways.

1. Bush, and his daddy, love the way that black people like Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell, and Clarence Thomas will spit on their entire race to go sit on Bush's lap like a hood ornament so that he looks like minority lovin' free spirit.

2. Bush loves the way he can send military recruiters to the Walmart parking lot and black teens will be sucked in by their charms (along with promises of steady income and a free college education), and he loves the way those same black teens look in fatigues when he sends them off to war in "Operation Human Shield." He also loves the way the media ignores the families of the black soldiers who don't ever come home.

3. Bush loves the strength of the black people, that enables them to carry his golf clubs while he is on vacation for 1/5 of his time in office.

4. Bush loves black people for their apathy and the way that they are so easily persuaded to stay home on election days.

5. Bush loves the way black people used to sell him drugs and not tell anyone about it, in exchange for money and protection from his daddy.

If anyone out there can think of things to add to the list, please join in!! We want Kanye to know the facts, and Bush to know that there are people out here who truly understand him.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Ouch!!

Well, it's almost time for the Breast Cancer 3-Day! Only a month left. This weekend Tiffany and I walked 21.75 miles! That's the most we have ever walked in a weekend...but only 1/3 of what we will have to do for the event! I have to say, we were really proud of ourselves though. We both had pretty bad colds this week, and really had to push ourselves to get out there and walk. But we did it!

I have about 7 blisters and my quads hurt a bit, but really I am fine...and just so full of pride. I keep trying to remind myself how small this pain is compared to the chemo and radiation that my mom's friends have had to go through. It does help, but sometimes it's hard to destract myself!

We still have fundraising left to do though. I need $580 more dollars to meet the minimum requirement. So, if anyone reading this can spare any money to help fight breast cancer, please donate! Again, my website is www.tinyurl.com/5gaks If I don't raise the $2100, I will pay the difference myself so that I'm allowed to walk...but I don't exactly have an extra $500 laying around the house! Thanks to those of you who have already donated! Don't forget to tell your friends and family (especially the rich ones! LOL)!

This whole thing is a bit scary. Neither of us are sure we can make it...but I know we will push ourselves as hard as we can. And I know we will be incredibly proud when it is all over. And then I know, I will probably never do this again!!!! LOL Tiffany has talked about joining the 3-Day crew in the future (setting up the tent cities and pit stops, etc.) but I think I will probably just donate from now on! She will always be the most adventurous of the adventure monkeys!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Weddings and Funerals

Yesterday I was a birde's maid. My friend & ex-neighbor, A, got married to D, her b/f on & off for the last 5 or 6 years. I have never been in a wedding before this. It was crazy! I think that it was made more difficult by the fact that A and I have only known each other for a year. If I was in the wedding of a good, old friend, I think it would have been easier. First of all, few of my long-time friends come from families that are psychotic about their religions. Second, if I were in, say, Missy's wedding (I know that will never happen, you are NEVER getting married), and Missy were to behave completely irrationally, I would grab her by her shoulders, look her in the eye, and say "You have lost your fucking mind!" Then she would probably laugh at me, take a deep breath, and we would re-examine her psychotic break. Missy and I have known each other for like 13 years. So, this is acceptable. Not so much with someone you have only known for a year. A rarely believes me when I tell her she has lost her mind...this is a problem.

Anyhoo, there were plenty of ups and downs to the planning and execution of this tragic event. I won't recount them all. Tiffany spent 4 hours listening to them last night, so if you have any questions she is now a certified expert. But, the strangest part of the day was the end. The whole day was essentially about A, right? But at the end of the day, she was gone. I never got to talk to her about it. And I won't for a long time. She's on her honeymoon for a week and then moving three hours away with her new husband (gag). She will be busy and won't have time to talk. And it's just really weird. It felt a lot like when I went to my friend Katie's funeral. The whole day was about Katie, and Katie was the one person I couldn't talk to about any of it. Of course, Katie is gone forever and A hopefully is not. Yet, in the moment it felt the same. It made me sad.

A and I are VERY different people, but we typically have a lot of fun together. Really the only time I was ever really mad at her was after her bachelorette party...and I think I'm over that now. I was really sad when she moved out. I miss coming home and seeing her car here. She was almost always up for a movie or dinner or just talking for a few hours. But now, all that is really gone. We'll be living in different cities now, so whenever I see her it will be "on a visit." There will be that strange formality about it. One of us will feel responsible for the other's entertainment, it won't be as casual. And, of course, D will be there. D and I do not so much get along. So, definitely, something real has been lost.

But, overall the day went well. There were a few minor catastrophes, but they were all resolved behind the scenes. And, really, it's the mishaps that make the day special. We will always have the moments of crisis that happened just between the 4 of us (bride's maids and bride). And I think it's those memories that will bind us in the future. At least I hope they do. I would hate to be that stranger in her wedding pictures that her kids point to and say "Mommy who's that??" I'd prefer they say "Is THAT Aunt Mandi??? She's so much skinnier now!!" LOL So, we'll see. I hope she is having fun on her honeymoon at least. I just wish she was coming back afterwards...

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Year Three

I read an article yesterday about the possible elimination of the 3rd year of law school. I think law school used to be two years many years ago, and was bumped up to three. Now, many people believe that the 3rd year is just intended to make money for the schools. The article included comments by 1 student who said she only studied 15 hrs/week her 3rd year, and spent the rest of the time drinking and traveling (hopefully not in that order). She already had a job locked down, so her motivation was gone.

I am about to start my 3rd year, on Tuesday, and I already have a job locked down as well. However, I don't think my 3rd year will be quite as laid back as that girl's!! I will be doing a clinic in a Prosecutor's office, which will take 12-15 hours/week. In addition to that, I will be taking 4 classes in the afternoon. Among those is Trial Practice and an ethics class. Both of which are incredible important. Sure, I could have taken those things last year, if there was no 3rd year. But that would have meant giving up other classes, like Con Law, Federal Tax, or Trusts & Estates...also very important classes.

I have to say, I support keeping the 3rd year. The 1st two years are so stressful. There is a LOT of competition: Mock Trial, Moot Court, Law Review, Jobs, etc. It's almost as if there is no time for pure learning. I am so looking forward to just focusing on my classes. I think I will probably learn more this year than the other two combined. Plus, it gives me the chance to have hands-on experience in a clinic...and that is invaluable.

Being a lawyer is a difficult and important jobs. I know a lot of people say they hate lawyers, but truthfully, like with members of Congress, people tend to trust their own lawyers completely. When people have problems, they ask their lawyers. People feel safe in the attorney-client privilege, and most people trust what they are told. It is very important that lawyers are well trained. I know that there are lawyers who are corrupt and/or stupid...but hopefully they are in the minority. Keeping the 3rd year, it seems to me, will aid in the quality of lawyers. It gives us another year to learn, another year to decide what kind of lawyers we want to be, and another year to develop with our classmates. Frankly, I don't feel ready to represent anyone yet. My future clients will be glad that I stayed in school the extra year.

Monday, August 08, 2005

The Happiest Place On Earth

So, I just got back from almost a full week in Disney World...and it was AWESOME! Seriously, if you are one of those people who can't have fun in Disney World, you should see a therapist. I know, it's hot, and there are lines, and lots of people...but it's Disney World!!

We did all 4 parks, and two of them twice! The two best, which we did twice, are Animal Kingdom and the Disney/MGM Studios. In case you haven't been there recently, I will elaborate. The best attractions at Animal Kingdom are: It's Tough To Be A Bug (a 3-D experience that will surprise ALL you sense), the Kilimanjaro Safari (which highlights many real exotic creatures that typically call Africa home), and the Rainforest Cafe (a great place to do lunch). We have done all of these things multiple times in the past, but still we love them! The 3-D show is of course the same everytime, but is totally awesome and never fails to entertain. The Safari on the other hand is different everytime, because the animals are unpredictable, and different species will be out at different times. We saw lions, bongos, zebras, hippos, rhinos, gazelle, alligators (or maybe they were crocs, I can't remember), elephants, and many others. We went on 2 safaris this week, and between the two we saw all the species they have. We were very lucky! We also followed the Pangani Trail this time, which we had not done before, and got to see gorillas, and my sister saw bats (I hid from them because I am part of the Goonies generation). Animal Kingdom is also home to my sister's favorite thrill ride: Dinosaur.

The Studios is my favorite park, because that is where I worked!! The highlights at this park are the thrill rides: The Rockin' Rollercoaster and The Tower of Terror. The nighttime show Fantasmic is also AMAZING! But this park also has a lot of great shows, like a few stunt shows and the interactive Who Wants to be a Millionaire show. We had a great time this year. My sister road the rollercoaster for the 1st time, she liked it so much we did it twice!!

The longest line we waited in was 40 minutes for Thunder Mountain in the Magic Kingdom...which really isn't bad. Plus, they have "Fastpasses" now, which means you don't have to stand in any line longer than like 5 minutes. You essentially make an appointment to ride, the appointments are 1 hour windows. You come back during your window & by-pass the line. It's very nice. Disney likes it because a person who is standing in line is not spending any money, but a person with a fast pass spends their wait time in shops & restaurants. It really was a brilliant idea. I hear Universal has copied them.

So, anyway, it was a great week! We came back with great souvenirs! I got a Nemo pillow and an Ewok plush doll. My sister got an Ewok plush and a Mickey Mouse Graduation Cap. We both also bought light-up toys for Fantasmic! Oh yeah, and I got a job! LOL So, when you guys want to come try out Disney for yourselves, you have a friend to stay with!!

Saturday, August 06, 2005

GREAT NEWS

I got a federal clerkship!!!! I will be working for a federal district judge!!! In Orlando!!!! I am sooooooooo happy!!!! :-)

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Movin' Day!

Well, Nemo, Tiffany, and Reed's Unnamed Vehicle, spent the day moving me back home after my internship! Tiffany was a HUGE help, and made the whole day go much faster! My next door neighbor moved out today too! She is getting married in 2 weeks, and I am in the wedding, so I will see her again soon, but it was still sad to see her apartment empty.

I am so happy to be back in my home! So much more comfortable, and private! But, it was sad to say goodbye yesterday. I did make a lot of friends this summer...hopefully those friendships will last on some level. Although, if I don't go back to the firm they likely won't last long, which is sad too.

Tomorrow I will finish unpacking, and maybe go and do a little tax-free shopping!! But Monday I am leaving for Disney World, so I don't have much time! I will have to pack all over again! Oh well, it's worth it for My Sister & Mickey & Eeyore & My Sloth!!! I can't wait to see all of them!! I will be gone until the 7th, so there may not be much blogging for the next week, but come back & check on me around the 9th!!

Well, I have been up since 3am (don't ask), so I need my beauty sleep! Goodnight everyone!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Family Matters

Okay, so I hardly ever do the "refer to people by their initials thing" but for this story I am going to, so deal. Here is the cast: My mom's best friend from high school is J. J's two daughters, D & K. And J's ex-husband Z (who is actually a D, but that would be too confusing!! LOL). Okay, now here's the dilemma/real life soap opera....

I guess it was about 10 years ago that J & Z got divorced. Z was sleeping with his secretary. Z married his secretary about 6 months after the divorce. J became a flight attendant and moved to Chicago, and then to LA. D, is the oldest daughter. D got married about 5 or 6 years ago and had a baby, C, 2 years ago. K is getting married this year.

My mom & J have stayed friends and just went out for coffee with her last weekend. J and D were both in town, staying with K. I think some kind of wedding thing was going on. Apparently, D & K are very angry at J and so it was a tense weekend. Guess what they are mad at her for??? Breaking up "the family." Yep. That's right. They are NOT mad at Z for being an asshole and having an affair, they are mad at J for moving out. K is angry because there is no "family home" for her to have her shower at!! Now, there is Z's huge 4 bedroom mansion that he lives in with his secretary...they could have had the shower there, but only if J agreed to pay for it! Because clearly Z is broke, and J, as a flight attendant with no alimony, is completely loaded. Oh no wait! That is completely backwards.

Now, I must add that K is 28 and D is 32...because it sounds like they are about 4 years old in this story!!

So I am completely disgusted with D & K. How can they side with Z, who is TOTAL scum and cheated on their mom??? Where is the female bonding here? Well, according to my mom, D & K don't know that their dad had an affair. Apparently his quick remarriage didn't tip them off. And J won't tell them, because (a) she doesn't want to "bash" their dad (ya know, with the truth!) and (b) she is embarrassed that he cheated on her. Can you believe this??? I cannot.

So, I want to say this to all the mothers out there: Don't keep these kinds of secrets from your adult daughters! If I were D or K and found out my mom had kept this from me I would be extremely upset. I would be so angry that I spent all these years feeling sorry for my dad, who is a total prick, when I could have been bonding with my mom. Plus, D is married and K will be soon. Someday, they may find themselves in J's position: with a dick for a husband. Maybe they could learn from her mistakes, and maybe they would like to have someone to talk to about things like that. At this point in their lives, they should have a friendship with their mother.

And even if Z hadn't cheated on J, D & K are still being ridiculous. They were both out of high school when J & Z got divorced. They are adults. They don't need a "family home" to have parties at!! Their parents could just as easily have moved to some golf community in Florida! I mean for God's sake grow up!!!!!!!! This is just so ridiculous! And I feel bad for J. Her daughters are treating like some slut who walked out on her family to re-live her teen years. That is so not what happened. I just want to call D & K (we did grow up together, or at least I grew up and they just got taller!) and scream at them! But, I can't. It is none of my business. Therefore, I blog.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Sick Days

This morning on CBS I saw a story about people calling in sick to work when they aren't really sick. They had a PI on who goes around spying on people who are supposed to be home sick, then they had a guy on, who had to appear with his face blacked out, talking about how he lies and says his elderly parent fell down the stairs, or his kid is sick. There were all these stats on how much these fake sick days cost companies every year. It was ridiculous.

Who cares why I call in sick?? They are my sick days! I earned them and I can take them whenever I want, for whatever reason I want! If I use up all my sick days on trips to the beach, and then I really do get sick, that is my problem. I will either have to come to work sick, take unpaid leave, or get fired...and that is my problem and my risk to take.

People need time off once in a while. If we take mental health days, it may actually improve our physical health in the long run, and reduce our overall sick days. It may even improve our productivity, and not having to fake sick when we want a day off surely improves morale.

I used to work at Disney World. Disney is one of the most profitable companies in the world. They don't care why you take sick days. Everyone gets a certain number of sick days per year, and we can take them anyway we want. We don't even need to give an excuse. We simply call a number, and leave a message on a machine saying that we are taking a sick day. They tell you, "Even if you are on the beach and just want to stay there, we don't care." Nobody calls you back, nobody asks you any questions, you don't have to fake a cough. They treat you like an adult with free will. What a concept!! Being treated this way makes you feel better. It takes away that feeling that you are being cheated, or that you are enslaved. And frankly, it makes you less likely to take unnecessary days off. Not only because sick days are limited, but because you just feel free.

I think the real wasted money is the money spent on PIs to investigate sick days, and the money spent on sick day statistics. People calling in sick is a cost of business, not an extra wasted cost. Dr's notes are for kids in grammar school, not for adults at work.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Friday, July 22, 2005

Totally Unrelated Crap

Well, 1st of all, some great news!! The other day I told you about my gay marriage debate with my roommate. Well, the very next evening she told me that I had actually changed her mind!! I am so excited! I never knew how powerful I was!! This could be dangerous...

A lot of people have been asking me what I think about the new U.S. Supreme Court nominee. Really, I have no opinion yet. Stop asking. Should he come after my uterus, I will let you know. For now, I've heard he's nicer than Scalia, and whiter than Thomas. To me, that says it all.

"W" and I were in the same town today. Don't worry, I have an alibi. I was eating BBQ a good 5 blocks away with 4 attorneys. Yeah, that's sooooo not gonna hold up in court.

I was flipping through channels last night, and landed on Comedy Central, where Louis Black was doing stand-up. In honor of this performance, I would like to leave you with this thought: "If it wasn't for my horse, I never would've spent that year in college."

Comment at your own risk.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Politics of the Heart

I had a debate tonight with my roommate about gay marriage. She was excited because she met a gay guy who was also a republican (as is she). She said he was gay & didn't want gay marriage to be legal. Personally, that drives me crazy! There are a lot of people out there working hard for gay equality, and to have gay people fighting against us is extremely frustrating. I can understand that not all gays want to be activists, not all gays want to get married, but I would prefer if they not frustrate the efforts of others. My roommate said she is in favor of civil unions, but that marriage is a religious institution and making gay marriage legal puts pressure on churches to perform gay marriage. That is ridiculous. Churches haven't been pressured to perform marriages for anyone else. Plenty of churches still refuse to marry atheists, divorcees, non-virgins (or at least people with kids out of wedlock), even inter-faith or inter-racial couples. Besides the fact the people get married in synagogues, temples, courthouses, and Vegas drive-thru chapels all the time....without any "church" involved whatsoever.

I could go on about gay marriage for hours, but there was one thing she said that really bothered me. I commented about the 2004 election, and how republicans banked on the hatred & intolerance in this country to get conservatives to the polls, and they won. I said how heartbreaking that was to so many people, including myself. She seemed disgusted at the suggestion and said "I don't think anyone was heartbroken! It's just politics!" I said that I was heartbroken, so theory disproven, but MANY other people were too. People all across the country watched as their neighbors flocked to the polls to vote against their families and their relationships. That is heartbreaking. This country, so divided, was pretty united in saying that gay people were less than there equals, that their relationships didn't deserve recognition, that they were 2nd class citizens. I think there is a HUGE problem in this country. People think that politics aren't personal. I don't see what can be more personal. Conservatives say "gay people" like they are this amorphous group with purple triangles on their foreheads. Wrong. They are people, with names, and faces, and homes, and jobs. These people should not be dismissed. Instead of saying "gays should not get married" put a name in there, of someone you know, say "Jennifer should not get married." Then ask yourself "why?" You've known Jen for a long time. You've spoken to her at the grocery store, or asked her for a cup of sugar, or shared a cup of coffee. She's not contagious, she didn't make you gay. She's always had a girlfriend, and it's never effected your relationship. They don't go at it on the lawn. They are a normal couple with normal routines and adequate self control. So what is the reason to deprive her of the rights you have? Well, if you think of any reasons, go tell her. If you don't have to balls to do that, to go tell her to her face why she doesn't deserve equality, then shut the hell up and get out of her way.

My roommate changed her mind about people being heartbroken over the amendments passed on ballots across the country last year. But she did end her debate by saying "I think it will just take time. And a lot more gay people need to get active." I said, "No, a lot more hetero people need to get active." We all need to remember that this is no different than the civil rights movement. Plenty of whites thought that black people were barbaric, disgusting, or unintelligent back then (some still do today but luckily they are rarely respected). Today, people think that gays are perverts who will destroy children and the fabric of the family. There is no difference. The groups are different but the hate and intolerance are the same. Someday people will look at these days the same way we look at the days of segregation and Jim Crow laws. When that day comes, hetero or not, which side do you want to be on?? Stand up.