Saturday, June 28, 2008

Nervous

In one week I am going "home" and in 2 weeks I am going to my ten-year high school reunion. I am excited, but also nervous. The part I am most nervous about is K's ex-girlfriend (E) being there. I guess I am just apprehensive about all 3 of us being in the same room at the same time. I am afraid that K will treat me differently in front of her. I'm afraid at seeing how he treats her. I doubt she will start a fight with me or anything, but I know she is going to try to come between us. I know she will try to interrupt us and pull him away from me. On the one hand I want to tell him my fears, but I don't want him putting on an act because of what I say ahead of time. I want to see how he behaves naturally, I want to know how he really feels in his heart when he sees the two of us at the same time. I hate the fact that I am so insecure when it comes to her, but how else am I supposed to feel? They were together for 8 years, and she is clearly still interested in him. He says he has no feelings left for her, but he also won't just drop her. I dunno. I am just nervous about it all. Plus there is the fact that he plans on drinking that night, so he can't come home with me, so I will have to worry that he might go home with her. On the one hand I think, no, that is ridiculous. But on the other hand it seems completely plausible...even unavoidable. He is gonna be drunk, he always wants to have sex, she wants to break us up - am I stupid to think for a single second that he won't sleep with her that night?? I feel like even if I stay as long as he does and drive him back to his truck, or wherever he is gonna sleep that night, I won't know what will happen next. She could show up after I leave. But, I guess that could happen anytime, right? Ugh. Do these fears EVER go away??? I hate myself when I feel this way.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Dangerously Tame

As most of you know, my Monkey came to visit me last weekend!!! We had a fabulous time! She got here thursday at around 11am and left Sunday evening. We did a perfect amount of adventuring, eating and being lazy on my couch! It was a really great visit, and I wanted to write about it sooner but I was in trial the last 2 days. So, here is the long awaited summary!

On Thursday I picked her up from the train station (Yes, she took a train. She is a little crazy!) and we went straight to my apartment to drop off her stuff. Then we had a very yummy lunch at Tijuana Flats and then a lovely journey through the botanical gardens! We saw lots of flowers as well as butterflies, ducks, turtles, birds and lizards! We also saw a sign that warned us that alligators may be present and we should not feed or touch them as it may make them "dangerously tame". We loved that sign and it became our theme for the weekend! After that we went home and took much needed naps on the fabulous new couch! Then we came back downtown and had dinner at the new brick-oven pizza place and walked around the lake, where we saw swans and ducks and strange people.

Friday I had to work for a few hours in the morning which was perfect because Monkey slept until 10 because she was still recovering from the train! After I came home, I changed into adventure clothes and we went to Animal Kingdom! FABULOUS! We did pretty much everything there is to do and saw way too many animals to list! We even ate lunch at rainforest cafe! I had a great time riding the rollercoaster and the dinosaur ride with her because it was all new to her so she was genuinely scared (in a good way). Really a great day! We got rained on at the end, but that was fine, because we were just leaving anyway. We came home, took showers & mini-naps and then had dinner at Crispers.

Saturday we went to the Merrit Island Wildlife Refuge and the Canaveral National Seashore. We saw more birds and lizards and a BABY ALLIGATOR!!!!! So cute. We also saw more strange people. Unfortunately we got chased off the beach by storms, but still a pretty good day. I know we wnet to Steak & Shake for lunch after that, but I can't remember what we did after that! (Monkey will, I'm sure.) At night we walked around the plaza by my house some and got ice cream at Marble Slab.

Sunday we went for breakfast at Perkins and then spent the afternoon at the Art Museum. That was really cool. The featured exhibit was William Joyce, who is a great children's book illustrator and does the drawings for Rollie Pollie Ollie. His stuff was really cool. There were also a lot of local artists featured and just some really cool things. It was a great way to spend the afternoon, and the rain came while we were inside this time! Haha! Then we went shopping in downtown winter park and had lunch at a restaurant down there. I think we finished up that day shopping at Florida Mall, I got shoes & jewelry for my reunion (but maybe that was saturday? I dunno I am getting old).

So that is the story! It was a great weekend and i have lots of pix on my computer at home, so I will put some up on here later & the rest on facebook or myspace. Probably not until tomorrow though because I have plans tonite! I hope you all had a great weekend too - although it couldn't possibly compare to mine!!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Mission: Reunion Dress

Last night I went shopping with three friends from work (JS, CS and MH) to find a dress to wear to my 10-year reunion. We had a blast!

I wanted something not too fancy, that made me look skinny, and cost less than $100. We started a JCPenney. I tried on like 20 dresses and bought one: $39.99 and looked great! I only had one small reservation about it, so I decided that we would keep looking just in case. After dinner at CPK, we wentto Macy's. I tried on dresses ranging from $70 to $150, but we all agreed the dress I already had was better than any of them. I just needed a better bra.

I spent the next half hour with my 3 friends staring at my boobs from all angles, and taking turns pushing them together. It was hilarious. The lady working there tried to help, but she was a tad bit annoying. See, my one boob is MUCH bigger than the other. Probably a whole cup size. So it's pretty impossible to get them to look completely even. I accept that. But the Macy's lady kept blaming the dress. It is NOT the dress, it's the boob. Trust me.

We eventually narrowed it down to two bras. How to decide? One was $53.00, the other was $9.99. Seriously, I will NOT pay more for the bra than I did for the dress. So, I took the cheap one and we left the mall after it closed! LOL (Of course, this meant I had frantic voicemails and texts from my mom, my sister and K all wondering if I was dead because it was 10pm and I wasn't home yet!)

The dress is black and white, so we decided I should get some colorful accessories to go with it. The girls say red, mom says yellow and T says turquoise. I am thinking pink. ;-) I'll look around and decide eventually.

The best thing about last night was really determining which styles looked good on me. Oddly it ended up being the opposite of what I expected. So that was really neat...it was like my own personal makeover team!

So, anyway...lots of fun was had by all. Tomorrow will be a FABULOUS day because my monkey is coming to visit!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! So, you may not hear from me until next week.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Just FYI

The Incredible Hulk is a very good movie. Ed Norton is amazing and hot even when he is big & green. You should go see it.

The Happening is a horrible movie. There is nothing good about it (well, except some pretty funny death scenes). I thought I could watch Mark Wahlberg read the phone book & not get bored. I was wrong. Don't bother seeing it. Don't even rent it. Tell your friends.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Thanks For The Hugs

I needed them. The weekend ended up getting better, and we ended on a high note last night. I even gave him my ring back. I won't go into all the details, but we had 3 fights. All 3 times he was wrong, which he admitted eventually. However, all 3 times I also broke up with him - telling him to get out & take his stuff. I shouldn't have done that. I need to work on that. I am way too willing to "cut & run." I really am turning into a man! LOL

So, I guess we forgave each other & we are okay now. Unfortuantely I had terrible nightmares last night, so today will be a pretty tired day. Oh well. I will go to bed early tonite!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Nothing Good To Say

We have been fighting alllllllllll weekend. K is still here, so I won't write the details until Monday. I don't know if this is break-up fighting or just regular fighting, but I did take back my class ring from him....

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Grumpy McAttitude

On Monday, the last day my mom & sister were here, K was in a VERY grumpy mood. He had "that voice" and was being all short with me, so I was like "go be grumpy, call me later." The grumpy mood lasted through Tuesday, and I found out Monday afternoon what it was about (his mother - of course). So by Tuesday night I said "why don't you go pout for a few days and call me when you are better." Twenty minutes later the mood was gone. This morning we are 100% back to normal. Good.

But last night my mom was asking me how I can just disregard his attitude like that - why doesn't it ruin my day? Especially if he doesn't tell me why he is grumpy - don't I worry that it's me? That he's mad at me? And I said "Nope." She was amazed. I said when I was 17 I would have worried, but now, I really don't give a fuck. The probability that his bad mood is about me and I don't know it is about 1 in a million. And if it is about me, so what? He'll get over it, or he won't. Not much I can do about it. If he wants to discuss it, he will. If not, he's a grown up, that's his deal. This amazes my mother, she says "You have become so patient and mature. I guess I never grew up like that." True. She didn't.

And this brings me to my next story....for those of you that don't know, my judge gets caricatures done of all of his clerks and hangs them on the wall in chambers. Well, mine was unveiled this past sunday. I feared I would be all nose, hoped I would be all boobs, but ended up being all smile. Everyone said it was "perfect" because I am always smiling and laughing. And I thought "Hm. That's funny, because growing up I was known for being depressed and suicidal and writing poetry." I think I like my new persona better. ;-)

So, I guess my mom is right. I have grown up, and become a happier, more patient and more relaxed person. Can you imagine what a dark anxious bitch I used to be???? LOL

Monday, June 09, 2008

What A Week!!!!

Well, the fam is leaving today. We had QUITE a week! Mostly it was fabulous. And the biggest news: my sister is OFFICIALLY a Florida resident!!!! We got her driver's license today! She is hoping to go to grad school at either FSU or UF. Very exciting!!!

So, I won't bore you with all the stories, just the run down. My sister and I did Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom and Disney's Hollywood Studios (f/k/a Disney/MGM Studios). It was soooooo hot we spent everyday drenched in sweat! But we are so amazing that we managed to do everything we wanted to do at Magic Kingdom in like three hours...and then we just hung out and did some stuff we'd never done before. Animal Kingdom was equally successful and included lunch at Rainforest Cafe. On Friday, we did the Studios and it was PACKED!!!! We got to ride the new toy story ride TWICE...the first time we waited in line for 80 minutes!!!! That is the longest we have ever waited for a ride...but it was all indoors so it was air conditioned & we really didn't have anything else we needed to do. The ride was a LOT of fun...it was more of a game than a ride, but it was great & I can't wait to go back and play more!!

On Saturday, my mom went with us to see the Postsecret exhibit in Melbourne. It was okay...a lot of the secrets I had seen already, and apparently I am the slowest reader in my family, so at the end I kinda just gave up and went to join them. The coolest thing was that they showed both sides of some post cards that had writing on both sides, and so that was cool. After the exhibit we had a FABULOUS lunch at a local restaurant we just happened upon, and then we went for a walk on the beach.

Yesterday was the party at my judge's house - my "goodbye" party. It went pretty well. My judge gave me a great present - a leather-bound version of the book Scottsboro.

I also got to see my caricature, which will go on the wall in chambers for all time. It was better than a feared, but still kinda scary! I have a HUGE smile, but I don't look fat, so that is good. Plus my nose is like barely visible, rather than huge like I feared. I guess it's fine. People say it looks like me - but I don't see it at all!

My judge said some very nice things about me, and my family said he was crying when I gave my goodbye "speech" - which was more of a rambling than a speech!

So, anyway, everything went pretty well!!! Now I am ready to sleep it all off!!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Before I Disappear

My sister is flying in today!! WOOHOO!!!! So, likely no blogging for at least a week. Yesterday and today have been CRAZY busy at work. Right now it's nap time, but I am too excited to nap, so I am blogging. (Yes, we do have nap time at my job. It's a great job.)

I am totally looking forward to the next 3 days at disney with my sister! My mom gets here late thursday night, but she will spend friday by the pool while sis and I finish up at disney. Then on saturday we are going to see the postsecret exhibit in Melbourne and on Sunday my judge is having my "goodbye" party - like 3 MONTHS before I leave!!!! LOL He's crazy. I won't be back at work until Tuesday.

Not much is going on in my world. I have been having INSANE dreams lately though, and I would like to write them down, but I don't have time right now.

So, anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know I am alive & you should hear from me again in about a week!!!