2nd Round

I am sending out more applications today: Atlanta(2), Miami(2), Jacksonville, Richmond and Charlottesville. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

P.S. Don't you love my new layout???? It makes me so much happier!!!!

Last Night's Dream

I was 17 again, a senior in high school, sitting on my bed on the second floor of my parents’ house. But, oddly enough, I had the same cell phone I have today (odd because in 1997 all I had was a pager!), and it was ringing. I answered it and it was K - for the very 1st time. Like he had never called me before. He said he wanted me to come to his house, but I had to refuse because I was waiting for Z. He said he’d call me back later. Z arrived and let himself into my room. I was disgusted by him, just as I am today. We started to have sex and after a few minutes I pushed him off of me, got up & got dressed. I told him I was done with him, that we were breaking up. I told him to get out of my house and not to ever come back. I wasn’t completely sure why, just that I was sick of him. I didn’t want to look at him for one more minute. As he put on his coat I made sure to stand in front of him, so his only choice was to back out of my room. I didn’t want him to waste time taking back his things from my room, I just wanted him gone. He walked downstairs and said “Really? You are really doing this?” and I said “Yes! Are you surprised?” When we got downstairs my mom & sister were coming in through the garage, after being at a family party that I missed out on for Z. They said hello and goodbye to him and he left. I told them “I broke up with him.” and they were not surprised. I checked my cell phone and K had called me 9 more times, but from all different numbers. I knew it was him though because all the numbers had a “K” in them, like 352-6K98. It was odd. I was just about to call him back when it rang again. This time the caller ID said “411”. I answered it & it was K. I told him I broke up with Z. He said “Good job!” I said “How was your night?” and he said “All right, I am kinda sick though. My dad is sick too and I think I caught it from him.” In my head I knew he was lying because his dad was dead already and I didn’t understand why he would tell such a ridiculous lie. No matter, I asked if he still wanted me to come over, especially now that I broke up with Z. And he said “Of course! I will be here.” And I knew he would be, so I walked out the garage door to go see him.

K says this dream means that my subconscious wants to have sex with him. I told him I doubt that, but sex is like cotton candy to me - I always forget how much I hate it, and it smells good so I think “Hm, I will have some” and then after one bite I remember that it makes me utterly nauseous. So, maybe my subconscious does think it wants sex, but after about 10 seconds of having sex it will see the error of its ways.

For me though, I think the dream means more than that. I have had several dreams lately where I dream that I am with Z again and I break up with him for K. Maybe I am longing for a re-do, thinking that if I had done that, and K and I would have been together for that long, things would be easier now. I also think it is my anxiety in my ongoing debate about whether to stay in this relationship or not. Maybe my brain is dividing up the things I like and don’t like about K. The bad stuff is turning into Z, which I throw away, and the good stuff stays in K. Maybe I am showing myself that the good stuff is enough, that I don’t really want to be without him - just without some of the stuff in him that reminds me of my past. I have had a few dreams where K and I break up and they make me very sad. It seems that deep down I do want this relationship to work. It is just very difficult. I really do wish I could separate the good from the bad....but I can’t. So eventually I have to decide which one outweighs the other. My usual list-making is not helping, because not everything is in a 1:1 ratio. Like sex is a BIG negative, so I need to find a BIG positive to outweigh it. I’m not sure I can. But maybe all the little positives put together outweigh it? I don’t know. This is the hardest decision of my life. And if I stay with him, I will essentially have to make it everyday for the rest of my life. But if I choose to leave, I have to live with that forever too.

Sister Sister

Got back from NYC last night. Had a BLAST with my sis! Here’s the summary:

Saturday: Got there at 10:30am. We went to South St. Seaport to see the Bodies Exhibit, ate lunch and walked around the seaport/boardwalk area a bit. Took the subway back to her dorm, took showers & changed. Went to dinner at CPK, wandered around Times Square and then went to see Legally Blonde the Musical at the Palace Theater! It was hilarious! We had so much fun! The weather was beautiful all day, and everything went very smoothly. I bought drawstring backpacks for both of us as souvenirs from the musical. I also bought myself a poster that says “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle” and has a pic of a fish riding a bike on it. LOVE IT! My sis bought herself a huge MCR poster, and a little gag gift for a friend. Oh! And we went to the M&Ms store, where we had a surprisingly difficult time finding actual candy and my sister got bit by a xmas blanket.

Sunday: Central Park Zoo – which is very cool. Lots of animals and again, the weather was fabulous. I bought myself a purple visor that says “Central Park Zoo” on it for $5. Then we went to the Apple Store, which is underground, to buy my sis a new iPod. We stopped at Tiffany’s to look at stuff we couldn’t afford and when we walked out, we were smack in the middle of the gay pride parade! How cool was that? We were so excited! So we hung out there for a bit, took some pics, bought a flag & a bracelet and then went back to the dorm to drop off our loot.Then we went to St. Mark’s Place, which is a little college town type area with lots of very cool shops. We ate french fries for lunch at a place called Pomme Frites, all they sell is fries with assorted kinds of dips – we had sundried tomato and horseradish sauces. Very yummy. After that we went back to her dorm and watched Twin Falls Idaho (very good but very sad movie). Then we went to dinner with Sever & Sally at an Italian place near the dorm that we had never been to before. It was good, but the service was kinda bad. But still, we had a good time. S&S are soooooo skinny! They need some meat on them! But we love them & miss them so it is always good to see them happy – which they are.

Monday: Breakfast at the YUMMIEST bagel place EVER! Then we went to the aquarium at coney island. This was okay. VERY long subway ride, but some of it was above ground so that was fun! Coney Island is a pretty dirty & creepy area, but there is a beach which was cool, and the aquarium had some very neat animals, it just isn’t very well maintained. A lot of the attractions had computer operated things that were broken, and a lot of it was dirty. Plus is was SWARMING with small children, so it was very loud. But still, there were very cool animals, like a walrus and sharks and starfish and jellyfish. So, we enjoyed ourselves. Then we had hotdogs and lemonade at Nathan’s and got back on the subway. We stopped at the manhattan mall, and Madison square garden – where my sister’s radio station is. We had dinner that night at a pizza place near my sister’s dorm, and then got banana pudding at her favorite neighborhood bakery for dessert. It was VERY yummy, with real bananas and nilla wafers! Monday night we stayed home and watched Wife Swap and Hell’s Kitchen because my sister was the RA on duty.

Tuesday: Another yummy breakfast: bacon, egg & cheese on a bagel at a placed called Toasties. Then off to my sister’s school because she had a meeting. As we were waiting for the meeting to start we got a call of a problem at the dorm with a check in, so we power walked 12 blocks back to the dorm! We were sweating our asses off! I changed into shorts once we got there. My sis took care of the problems and we took a cab back to her school. She had her meeting and we went back to the dorms, where I packed my stuff, we ate subway for lunch and I took a nap through most of All My Children. Then, it was in a cab for me! Back to Florida! I upgraded myself to 1st class rather than sit in my middle seat for the 3 hour flight. Thank GOD I did that! We were on the ground in NYC for over an hour! But, I made it home safe & sound. This was the best vacation I have had in a LONG time! Those of you who are interest, I will email around pics later this week!

Recovered

So, things were better today. I took a xanax last night at 6:15 and slept well from about 9pm to 7am. I started my day with some 'bucks, which was probably a bad idea because I didn't really need the caffeine, but oh well. My judge was out today, but called at 10 to see if anything was going on. He said "What is your plan for the day?" and I said "Hold down my chair until 5, then go home, pack & go to bed." He said "Take the afternoon off." So I did! Yay! I ran all my errands, did some laundry, ate some chipotle, and finished packing. Now I am drinking some green tea and chillaxin. It's a good time. Except that there is NOTHING on TV. It is really atrocious. But, tomorrow I will be in the NYC with my baby sister and I am so excited! So, I think I will pop in a Veronica Mars DVD and relax til I fall asleep. I have to get up at 4am! So, probably no blogging until Wednesday when I get back. Have a good weekend everyone!

Had A Bad Day

So, since 7am today I have consumed the following things:

3 sips of Orange juice
A granola bar
8 oz of Water
1 slice of wheat bread with Nutella
1/2 a can of orange soda
1 small piece of cake

Why, you may ask, have I eaten so little today? Pretty much because I have been quietly suffering through a panic attack since about 5am. This means I am nauseuos, my heart is pounding, and my vision is not completely clear. Not to mention the truly awful thoughts in my head and the nagging feeling that my heart is utterly broken. But, I bet nobody even noticed because I have done a pretty good job of keeping it to myself. I feel though, that my control over the situation is about to end and I will probably cry the whole way home. But that's okay - I need it.

Today's attack was most certainly brought on by a series of nightmares I had last night, which I think were brought on by the nighttime sudafed I took to help me fall asleep. I thought I would feel better after I got to work - nope. Then I thought maybe after I went home for my lunch break - nope. I called K hoping that he would make me feel better - nope. So now I am debating whether to take a xanax when I get home. I think I should, but last night I didn't really get to talk to my mom or sister because I was drugged, so I want to talk to them tonite. I guess I just have to do that early. I am going to NYC on saturday, so hopefully my brain chemistry will even out by then. I really want to be in top form for my sister, so that we can have an awesome time. So, cross your fingers for no nightmares the next two nights!!!

Great Moments In Super Model History

Okay, so I heard that Elmo put Tyra Banks in her place at the Daytime Emmy Awards. Unfortunately I did not see this historic event, because I have run out of patience for awards shows in the last few years. Also because it is not on the internet ANYWHERE. Say what? You heard me. Not on YouTube, LiveLeak, nowhere. I have googled until my fingers bled and it simply cannot be found. If it weren’t for the fact that my iPod is in the shop, so I had to listen to the radio on my way to work, and the DJ on some random station happened to be present for said event, I would not be aware of this at all. And that, my friends, would be tragic. Fortunately, I got this scoop on the radio:

Elmo & Tyra were presenting an award together. Tyra was late & then got confused by the set. Elmo, annoyed by Tyra’s idiocy, told her “Time is money!” and to “get out here!” Then, at some point during the colloquy, Tyra read Elmo’s line instead of her own and Elmo said to Tyra “Elmo already said that!”

Seriously, this had to be priceless. The fact that I cannot see it for myself is ruining my day. It’s 11am and I already had to have some chocolate to help me cope. Clearly, this clip being kept off the web is part of the evil republican conspiracy to keep me down. But I will fight, and I will survive. And so will Tyra. She is not the kinda woman to let an intellectual thrashing by a muppet keep her down.

Do You Need A Woman To Look After You?

Last night I watched "The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio" with Julianne Moor & Woody Harrelson. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The major theme was that Woody's character was a drunk who couldn't take care of his ten kids, and his wife, Julianne, was constantly saving the family from ruin and getting no credit. Everytime she saved them from one of his screw-ups he got drunk & mad at her. But she kept doing it, kept saving her family, no matter how thankless the job was, knowing that he would likely screw it up again. Her children appreciated her, but her husband resented her. And through all of it, she actually felt sorry for her husband. She took care of him like he was the eleventh child, and he spent all of his sober hours apologizing to her. It's a classic scenario.

As the movie was ending K called me. He is in NY, visiting family, and the battery on his car is dead. He calls me to tell me and I know he needs money, but he won't ask. So I offer, and he says no. I transfer $100 to his account anyway. I know he will thank me later - he won't be angry or resentful toward me. Although he will be embarassed. And it made me wonder, will men ever stop needing women to save them?

Race War

I just watched the movie blood diamond. I wasn’t crazy about it, but it was okay. It just didn’t hold my attention very well, and I cant tell why. It makes me feel insensitive to say that, like if I was a good person I would have been more drawn in and troubled by it. But anyway, at one point Leo says something like “I’m a white man, you need me.” and I thought, how awful that even in Africa whiteness is a currency. Even when we are the minority, we are the majority. How awful that must feel. K and I both know that my race is an asset and his is liability. We know that is reality, we accept it, and we even joke about it. But the truth is, it’s horrible. And I will never know how he really feels. I know that I am aware of when I can use my race to my advantage. I know it gives me a higher credit rating, I know it makes it less likely that I will be pulled over by a cop. Sometimes I think I should feel bad about taking those advantages, but he says it’s the game and we have to play it. And I think that we should all take whatever we can get – especially from the rich and powerful. But still, the absurdity of this ranking by color is so horrible. I know that if we have children society will see them as black, and they will suffer the same prejudices. And even though they will be as privileged and well-educated as I was growing up, they will have to work harder to prove themselves than I did, and they will have to be more careful with the choices they make. And there is no place in the world where it would be any different.

Pick Me! Pick Me!

So, I put out 5 job applications today. The cities are: Tampa, Macon, Atlanta, Baltimore & Raleigh.

Tampa is my top choice because of the location and the judge - he is a Clinton appointee, so probably of a similar political persuasion. And it would be nice to spend one more year in Florida. My eyes tear up at the thought of leaving.

Raleigh is my 2nd choice. The judge is a moderate republican, so eh. BUT I would be close to Tiffany, Missy, Amy and K! So that would be a bonus.

Next are Atlanta & Macon because I would be close to friends then too, and still in the south.

And then there is Baltimore. The judge there seems really cool, and I would be VERY close to my sister. So, even though it is in 5th place it is still not a bad deal at all. Adam lives there now, but probably won't by the time I'd move there. BUT...maybe I can make myself comfortable at his place if I go up for an interview!!! *Wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

So, anyway...the process has begun. I have 7 more apps to be mailed off. Also, there are 2 more judges who I need to call and see if they will be hiring. And that will be it. If I don't get hired by a judge by October, I will start applying to law firms in Charlotte, and if I don't hear anything from that by January, I will start looking at firms in Florida. So, that is the game plan! Wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed!!!!

Innocent Men

A few weeks ago I finished reading John Grisham's "The Innocent Man", a non-fiction novel about two men wrongfully convicted of murder in Oklahoma. The men were exonerated by DNA and released after spending 12 years in prison (one of the men was on death row). The book details misconduct by the prosecutor and law enforcement agents. The prosecutor who put those men in prison still has his job, even though there are two other men, in prison thanks to him, who also appear to be innocent. DNA evidence is not available to those men, so they will likely never be able to prove their innocence.

I was thinking about this Oklahoma prosecutor this morning while I was watching the news. They were talking about the hearings being held to decide if the prosecutor who brought charges against the Duke lacrosse players will be disciplined by the bar. I don't know all of the details of this "scandal", but no matter what he did, no matter how many reputations were harmed, nobody was sent to prison. In that instance, the system worked - the innocent went home. So how does that guy get disciplined and this reckless, if not corrupt, prosecutor in Oklahoma doesn't have a scratch on him? How does he escape scrutiny? Is the Oklahoma Bar so ignorant that they don't know these stories? Or do they simply not care?

Of course, the prosecutor in Oklahoma says that he did nothing wrong. Basically he blames the cops - saying that from what he knew these guys were guilty. That's bullshit, but it's what he says. The Innocence Project has exonerated over 200 people in this country. Several were on death row. These 200 are only a fraction of the wrongfully convicted. There are hundreds more who haven't been helped, or cannot be helped. And in all of these cases, I don't know of a single attorney or law enforcement officer who has had to answer for their "mistakes." So while I don't think this guy in NC is a saint or anything...I wonder if there aren't bigger fish to fry?

Lift Your Head Up High And Blow Your Brains Out

K has been so odd lately. On Saturday he was PMSing or something. Telling me how stressed he is and how he has “issues” but wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. So I was like “Well, if you won’t tell me what’s wrong, then stop bitching.” He says “Thanks for caring.” and I said “How can I care when you won’t tell me what’s wrong?” Never mind. He never told me, except to say “Well it’s my mom’s business but it’s kinda my business too cuz they took money out of my account, so it’s my business.” Well, whatever, if you don’t tell me what it is then I can’t help, so don’t bellyache to me, ya know? And now I will just make up a scenario in my head, so if u think u are protecting your mother’s reputation, you are wrong.

Then this morning he calls his tax lady to make an appointment and is pissed that she can’t fit him in on Friday! What does he think? She only has one client? So his appt is on the 29th. So now he doesn’t know if he should go home this weekend, which I guess he wants to do so he can do yard work or something. And he starts talking about how awful his life is and how he just wants to quit but he’s not a quitter. And then he says maybe he should just put a bullet in his head. I said “Okay. Have fun with that.” So then he’s all mad and offended and I don’t care about him, blah blah blah. Well, grow the fuck up! I mean of all the stupid shit, ya know? If you wanted an appt this week, then you should have called a couple weeks ago. It’s not brain surgery. Like, he’s being so lazy and immature and then whining about it. It is so not like him. So he got mad at me this morning and told me to call him when I get home from work - apparently he doesn’t want to talk to me any earlier than that.

I don’t know if he will ever learn that I have no sympathy when he is suffering for his own stupidity, and that I am not going to be conned into proving that I care about him. All of these attempts to guilt me or whatever are totally futile, because I just don’t care. My life is fine without him, I’m not going to beg him to stay or perform on demand to prove things to him. If he doesn’t think I love him then fucking leave, I just don’t need him enough to try to change his mind.

Empty Rituals

Today started with Judge G's memorial service. It was funny, sad and strange. Two Judges spoke, and so did 2 of his former clerks. They all told funny stories about him, and they all said what a great guy he was and how much he loved life and his wife and his kids. They called him intellectual and inspirational. It was all very nice. The most impressive stuff to me is that everyone talked about how much he loved his wife. It's hard for me to think that anyone who has been married more than 10 or 15 years still loves their spouse. But it seems to be agreed that Judge G adored his wife to the very end. It made me think about what I would say if I was up there – not for Judge G, but for my judge or even someone in my family. I thought it was odd that nobody in the judge’s family spoke today, but I guess they talked last month at the funeral – which I heard was more upbeat. I felt bad for them that they had to go through all of this again, they all seemed very heartbroken.

Of course, as usual, I can't go to any kind of religious event without getting at least a chuckle. The funniest thing today was a bible passage they read that said stuff like "There is a time for love & a time for hate, a time for war & a time for peace..." Other than the fact that it made me want to sing ("For everything turn turn, there is a season turn turn..."), I had to hold back laughter at this line:

"A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing."

WTF? God couldn't be anymore eloquent than THAT? I dunno, maybe it sounds less silly in the original language, whatever that is. And yes, I know "god" didn't even allegedly write the bible, but still, someone sits down to write some godly shit they should be more eloquent than that. Might I suggest:

"A time to embrace and a time to let go"?

Also, the beginning of the ceremony was pretty corny. The minister said something like "J knew Jesus, and he is celebrating with Jesus now." Which conjures an image of Judge G sitting on a cloud with Jesus drinking and stuff with a lot of yellow glowing stuff - very monty python. But also, it just sounds so silly. He knew Jesus? Did they do lunch? I dunno. It's so hard for me to grasp religious belief. I can't believe that the rest of the people in that church didn't think every word was ridiculous. I mean, not the personal stuff about him - just the god and jesus stuff. It is so hard for me to believe that people think all of that is somehow real. I know this offends people, so I try to behave myself and stand and sit and kneel at all the right times. But still, I feel like we are all being punk'd. Like nobody really buys this shit - right? Nobody really thinks that you die and go hang out with some high holy dudes and laugh and be merry, right? But, people do really think that. A lot of people. So, I just have to accept that, bite my tongue, and then call my mom and enjoy the absurdity with her (and of course, blog about it). Not that I don't respect religion and faith and all that, it's just hard for me to know how it feels I guess. Plus, I saw so much hypocrisy growing up that it is hard for me to take christianity seriously.

Back in 2001 I visited my mom's cousin JP, who is one of those ignorant, arrogant people who thinks she knows everything, even though she has never read anything more substantive than a romance novel. We were talking about archaeology (sp?) and I was saying that I think it should be illegal to dig up tombs and graves. We were talking about the egyptian tombs in particular. Those people believed that they needed their tombs to be a certain way to preserve their comforts in the afterlife. They were very particular and purposeful about it. And, if they were right, then we could be fucking up their afterlife. And she said, with 100% conviction, "They weren't right!" Well, how does she know? How does anyone know? Everyone has their own idea of what happens when we die - and someone somewhere could be right. Who are we to say that the ancient egyptians were wrong? We have so much respect for their accomplishments in other areas, but we laugh off their religious beliefs. They have just as much chance of being right as anyone else. It's not like we have proof that they were wrong.

I guess I should use my passion for defending ancient egyptians to help me understand modern christian faith. Truly though, it's not that I don't understand the belief in something other worldly. It's more that I find the human rituals absurd. The fact that a group of people, who most likely all live very different lives and believe completely different things 6 days a week, get together each week, stand up and sit down at all the right times, repeat back phrases with no thought or passion, and think that they are saving their souls. I guess it's like I've seen behind the curtain and I know the wizard isn't real when it comes to christianity. So much of it is about talking the talk, rather than walking the walk. Like, it's okay if you beat your wife, and get off on rape porn, as long as you sing a hymn every sunday and stand up and sit down at the right time. If that is what god is all about, is he really worth worshipping?

Anyway...that's what I have been thinking about today. BTW, my father's mother is officially in the ground - as of yesterday. All done.

The Fam

So, as you know, my grandmother died on Monday. Her obit was published yesterday – full of lies and weirdness.

1. It says she was the “beloved wife of” my late grandfather. This is total crap. My grandparents were separated for as long as I can remember. I think at least 20 years before my grandfather died, which was almost 17 years ago. My grandfather was a violent alcoholic who beat my grandmother regularly. And my grandmother had many, many boyfriends throughout her marriage. They were never officially divorced because they thought they couldn’t afford it. But they didn’t have any kind of marriage for at least the last 50 or so years – if they ever really had one at all. Plus, my grandfather died 17 years ago, and my grandmother died in her boyfriend’s car! Listing her as the beloved wife of anyone is just insane. It makes me wonder if my grandfather’s obit said “beloved husband of”? How queer. Who does my father think he’s fooling.
2. It lists my mother as still married to my father. This pissed her off royally. It didn’t list my uncle’s ex-wife, just my mother. Again, my father did this.
3. Also, it lists all of her kids, dead and alive. Which means 2 Orvilles (it's a hideous name, I know). Now for those of you who know me, you know that my grandfather was Orville Jr., then they had a stillborn son and named him Orville R. (I don’t know what the R stands for), then they had another son and named him Orville III, and he died in 1992. So the obit says “beloved wife of Orville Jr” and mother of “the late Patricia Ann, Orville R. and Orville.” It omits the “III”, which is odd. And I don’t know if the grammar is correct, but I’m not sure its clear that all 3 of those kids are dead. Plus, what will people think that she had 2 kids with the same name?!?!? They will think she was nuts! Which she was, but still. I dunno. I guess it’s only right to include all the kids, so there is no better way to do it, but it’s just weird and creepy.

It was weird to see my name in there. And weird to think that the funeral is tomorrow and I’m not there. I have no desire to be there, but it feels like I am avoiding an obligation. And it’s strange to miss my last opportunity to look at her, even though I have no love for her. I haven’t seen her in 5 years though, so I may not even recognize her. I didn’t recognize my great-grandmother at her funeral, or my uncle at his. My father told my sis that today (the wake) would suck cuz he would have to see a lot of people he hates. I’d love to be a fly on the wall to see who shows up – and to see her boyfriend! I mean, the woman was over 80 years old, about 300 pounds, hooked up to an oxygen tank & sporting a beehive! Who was dating her? More weirdness. So, anyway, that is my creepy & pointless story for today!

Things That Make Me Sneeze

1. Brushing my hair

2. Dialing the phone

3. Putting gas in my car

Ironically, dialing the phone also makes me have to pee, along with taking standardized tests, going to church services, and going to court. I wonder how those things are connected. Weirdness.

Seeking SWF with dead daughter for a good time...

Sorry. I know I just posted, but then my sister told me that Natalee Holloway's mom is dating JonBenet Ramsey's dad. They met through an organization that arranges speaking engagements. Here is the story:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,277718,00.html

I don't know whether to laugh, gag or cry. But I know I am quite emotional.

3 Again

Well, it happened again. 3 Deaths. Megan's co-worker, my father's mother and Bill France (son of the founder of NASCAR). So completely weird. But I always feel better when I know the three - then I don't have to worry. I don't really care too much that my grandmother died, she was old and evil. I know she had a hard life, but there are plenty of people with hard lives who aren't hateful, deceitful and selfish. So, I don't have much sympathy for her. Maybe her hard life was karma. The only major issue is that I am worried my father may guilt my sister into coming home for the funeral. She can't take too many days off from being an RA, so if she goes home for this polak celebration of death she won't be able to take off for warped tour in August, and that would suck for her. Hopefully the old man is too cheap to spring for last minute plane tickets.

In other news, I had a very good Monday. I was very productive and I think I may have changed my judge's mind on my pet death penalty case...so that would be fabulous! I walked to the post office at lunch time, and it was lovely out. On the way back I stopped for a "Triple Chocolate Mocha Smoothie" at Java Lava. It was the yummiest thing I have ever tasted. Plus, I made myself a wonderful dinner - grilled swordfish and steamed lima beans. Loved it. In fact, if I wasn't on the rag this wold have been the perfect day. So now, I am gonna take a shower and relax for a while and hopefully have a good night's rest so I can go back to work and continue to save the world.