Thursday, June 30, 2005

If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear ofthat party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group,of course, that believes that you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."
--President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1952

I had lunch today with 2 partners from my firm, one of whom is a very liberal democrat. He told us about a bumper sticker he saw on a "hippy van" the other day that looked just like one of those "W" stickers that all the republicans have, except, instead of saying "W The President" it said "F The President"...both he and I thought this was hilarious!

But, the partner qualified his story by saying that he thinks it's wrong for people to have bumper stickers criticizing the president, because, after all he is the president. Of course, I didn't offer a retort to that because, well, frankly he has money and I want it....but I will retort here, because none of you people have any money!

I think it's ridiculous that people think particular titles should immunize people from criticism. Just because Bush is President doesn't make him any less of a dick (that clause is gonna make my blog pop up when people search for porn! LOL), and it doesn't make him super-human. To think that we should throw everything we've got at him while he's running for Pres & then just toe the line if he wins is ridiculous. My goal is to make his title as worthless as possible. I didn't think he deserved it in 1999 when he started running, and I don't think he deserves it now. He's still openly criticizing me and my friends, so why should I shut up about him? In fact, even our Supreme Court has agreed with me on this, that is why public figures have a higher burden when charging slander or libel...because we are supposed to keep criticizing and questioning them, even after they have the title.

We had a similar debate at our school over Justice Thomas. He came to speak and one professor led a protest. Thomas criticized the professor and those of us who joined him saying that if our school keeps doing things like that no judges will ever come here and our school will get a bad reputation. Really, Mr. Justice? Judges would boycott our school because the 1st Amendment is live & well? Frankly, any Judge that would do that is one I don't want on my campus. But many students agreed with him, saying that he is a Supreme Court Justice afterall, and we should show him respect. Even though he shows no respect for women, homosexuals, poor people, or the bill of rights...we should all show him "respect" because of his title! That is ridiculous. My respect is earned, not by a person's title, but by their behavior. And if they made bumper stickers for every stupid son-of-a-bitch I know, Nemo wouldn't need tinted windows, she'd be covered in 'em! (Yes, my Nemo is a girl!)

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Insert Witty Title Here

Okay, so I went home this weekend for my sister's high school graduation. Those of you that know me well are aware of my ongoing feud with the principal at my old high school, who is still principal today. The man has a PhD, used to be a health teacher, has named himself "King of the Jews," is a racist, a hypocrit, an oppressor, and a moron. Yeah, it's a lot to do but someone has to do it...

So there was plenty of anticipation as to what would happen at this, our final encounter. And this is the recap: He hid from me. Okay, you are laughing, but it is true. In fact, he stayed behind the curtain, on stage, and sent out his little soldiers to threaten my sister with not walking. When I was a senior, he threatened me in person. However, he apparently has become more shy over the last few years, particularly since I said "uterus" to him, but that's a story for another day.

I will share some highlights from the day, though.

1. Before the ceremony starts He sends his 2 assistants out to tell my sister "Either change your shoes or you can't walk." My sister, having no spare shoes, had to wear my mother's...2 sizes too small. The greatest irony of this is that, every year at graduation rehearsal, He tells the kids that "Graduation is for your parents, not for you." Well, my mom bought my sister those shoes, she wanted her to wear them. Instead, she ended up being out $20 and barefoot!

2. This graduating class was the 1st to graduate since new standards were implemented by the state. He told the parents this and noted that 70% of this class was graduating with distinction. Then he said "Since there is nothing to compare this to, I don't know what it means exactly, but INTUITIONALLY, IF THAT'S EVEN A WORD, I think it's pretty good." At which point I found myself wishing I had brought posterboard & a sharpie, so I could write "NO!!! It is not a word you jackass!! "Intuitively" perhaps?? Did you get your PhD out of a freakin' crackerjack box??" I will, never stop saying "intuitionally" now, and I am sending Him a dictionary.

3. Every year, for the last 11 years, he has given the same speech. He starts off by telling us how the students don't know about things that their parents knew about like "record players, the Berlin Wall, Watergate, and the Draft." And I wonder, being the principal of their high school, wasn't he in charge of teaching them those things??? Then he moves on to tell the students that they should remember all the times that their parents sat through their games, concerts, or plays "when they would rather have been doing something else." Well, asshole, maybe you don't love your kids, but the parents that do, would not rather be doing anything else than watching their child do great things. And this year, that part of the speech was particularly disgusting, because he was standing right in front of the mother of a student who died last year, and in front of students who had buried around 10 friends in the last four years. Let me tell you, once you see a parent planning their child's funeral, they have a new found appreciation for the joys of games, concerts, plays, and even parent-teacher conferences! What nerve he has to say those things, in that room, on that day, to those people.

So, those are the high points of the graduation ceremony, at the end of which my mother shoved me into the car to keep me from telling off the principal at high volume! The rest of the day was uneventful. I gave my sister an aero bed and a sarcastic card, and we ate cheesecake and took naps! Overall, it was a good trip & I am very tired!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

As Requested...

My iPod. It is pink. I bought an iTrip to go along with it so I can play it in Nemo. The way it works is that the iPod broadcasts your music on an empty radio frequency. The problem is that it only works on FM stations and in a big city, like where I live right now, there are VERY few empty FM stations & they change as you drive. So, for now I have it 87.9, but if I drive to far North I lose my iPod and pick up bad country music! LOL Luckily, I normally live in a small town with like 2 radio stations, so once I am home it will work just fine!

So far I am pretty happy with my investment. I spent $312 for the larger of the 2 iPod mini models, a car charger, and the iTrip. I got $20 off for being a college student, which is why I opted for more memory. It is a bit expensive however, it is good insurance. Truly, ir stores 1500 songs, which is $1500 worth of music (at least). If I lost all those CDs, I'd be screwed. If I lose the iPod, I don't lose the music, just the machine...and I'm only out $229. I can use it to work out, in the car, at work, on the plane, and it won't skip like CDs. So, that is all good.

For anyone who subscribes to iTunes, you already understand the concept of "playlists." These are my one complaint. It is just SO much pressure! What songs go with what songs, etc. I have made a few, but they are strange bedfellows to say the least. However, iTunes has made one playlist for me: 90s Music. I decided to play it yesterday and I discovered that it is PRACTICALLY ALL MY MUSIC!!! Yes, I am a loser stuck in the 90s. Who knew? The worst part is that the songs that are not from the 90s are mostly OLDER not newer! Clearly, I need to watch more MTV....but that is for another day.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Growing Up

Well, I don't have anything too intelligent to talk about...mostly because I am just so tired! I did have a very good weekend tho! Tiffany FINALLY came back from her vacation so we had some good bonding time: eating, shopping, and walking...my 3 favorite things! And I am going to dinner this week with my friend Jessica & then this coming weekend my sister graduates from high school! That is hard to believe.

It seems so strange to think that she is the same person that used to be a toddler who needed me to carry her over the single step into the family room. It's weird because I watched her grow up, but it still seems like someone came and took the baby away and left this teenager in her place. I mean, she doesn't remember the things the baby and I did, and she looks so different, and sounds so different, and it's just so strange. I am really proud of her though. My sister has had an extremely hard life. I know that I was a big reason why it was so hard, and I feel bad about that. But I hope that now I can make up for that by making the rest of her life easier. That is the reason this job is so important to me, because I know what all that money could do for both of us.

Anyway, so I will be back in my hometown this weekend. Only for 2 days so I have to pack everybody in and see as many of my friends as I can. There are a few people I am hoping to see that I haven't seen in many years, and a new baby for me to meet too! There is also a lot of good food for me to eat while I am there!

Yesterday was Father's Day and since my father and I are now officially "estranged" I bought myself a father's day gift: an iPod mini. Yes, I was a very good father this year! LOL I am particularly excited to have it for the plane ride home, and its great for the car (now that I figured out how to do that!). I really do think they are worth the money. Really a discman is impossible to workout with, walkmans are relics, and headsets that only get radio suck because they never have good reception. This way I can listen to what I like, when I want and its really easy to carry around. Plus I can leave my CDs at home now, where they are safe. If you think about it, 100 CDs are worth at least $1000, and if they are stolen (which ahs happened to me), you are screwed. If my iPod gets lost or stolen, I'm only out $250...and I'm sure they are only going to get cheaper. So, I have loaded my state-of-the-art iPod with music from the 80s and I am happy as a clam! (assuming clams are happy, which we really have no proof of...)

Anyway, so that's a little slice of me today. As always, I will try to be more interesting tomorrow!! Goodnite.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Totally Useless...

1st of all: Clearly the Michael Jackson jury was as concerned about Charlie Manson as I was. That is the only explanation.

2nd: I have nothing to do at work except wait for 4 attorneys to have time to call me. Hence the title of this post.

3rd: In other news.....Okay, so I am not going to go on a huge rant about this, but I seriously think Terry Schiavo's parents are mentally ill & they have dragged a significant portion of the population with them. How else do you explain the absolute refusal to accept any medical opinion whatsoever and the ridiculous way in which dis-believing doctors has become a political party statement? I mean come on people. My roommate said to me the other day that the autopsy showed she never had an eating disorder. I told her no, it did not say that. She claims that's what they said on the news....well they lied! There is a huge difference between saying that an autopsy didn't reveal signs of a 15 year-old eating disorder and saying that the eating disorder never existed. But, the Schindlers are using that very vague & weak medical statement as ammunition in saying that Terry's husband tried to kill her. Right. Because who doesn't try to kill their wife by depriving her of potassium? Surely that is the number one way to kill your spouse: take all her bananas away and wait................are you still waiting? I thought so. Doesn't work so good does it?? For goodness sake people!

But really, I am more & more impressed with the news media everyday. Their accuracy is stunning. The other day a 4 year old died after riding the Mission to Space ride at Disney World. That afternoon I read an article which said that last year an 80 year-old women who had heart problems & suffered several mini-strokes "passed away after riding Pirates of the Caribbean." Well, gee, that's helpful. Was that a month after riding it? A year? I mean everyone who rides it will inevitably die "after riding Pirates of the Caribbean." Unless of course they are now putting corpses in the little boat things to add to the creepy effect (and the smell)!!!!

Yeah, so little things annoy me. Like when they say "after robbing the bank the suspect shot the teller." No. The perpetrator shot the teller. We don't know what the suspect did (if there even is a suspect) that is why we only SUSPECT him of the crime! But we DO know that someone robbed the bank & shot the teller & that person, though possibly unidentifiable at this point is the perpetrator, NOT the suspect. And if we have a suspect & later find out that he DID shoot the teller, he is no longer a suspect he is a perpetrator. It's not that hard to comprehend, really.

Okay, so that is all I feel like writing now. Back to watching my arm hair grow....

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Just 4 Fun

Yeah, I'm brilliant...

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test
Your IQ Is 115
Your Logical Intelligence is Genius
Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average
Your General Knowledge is Above Average

http://www.blogthings.com/quickanddirtyiqtest/

New Neighbors

So I know it's been a while, but if anyone out there is still reading this, I am still alive! Work has been taking up a lot of time...Mostly because of the "optional" social events. I have decided to go to fewer of those, though, because it is starting to wear me out!

Well, let's see, what has been going on in the world? Well, we are waiting for the Michael Jackson verdict. This is really just completely unpredictable, so I am quite curious to see the result. It's funny how everyone always asks lawyers what the verdict will be. On TV and in real life, lawyers are the "experts" people consult to predict verdicts. Apparently, people assume that lawyers are all psychic! I mean, it's 12 people in a room...Not 12 lawyers, 12 average people. There simply is no way to know, regardless of the law, what these 12 people will believe or think is important, or how they will understand the jury instructions, or even whether they care what the instructions are!

I was told yesterday that if he is sent to prison, he will go to the same prison, and likely the same celebrity wing, as Sirhan Sirhan and Charlie Manson. Poor Charlie! I best Jacko will scare the crap out of him! For those of you who are up on your violent crime trivia, you may remember that Charlie's mission was to join the black (winning) side of the inevitable race war...That is why he targeted rich white people. But when Charlie went away, black people sure didn't look like Jackson!! In fact, no people looked like that. I hope he isn't confused by this extreme misrepresentation of the human race! (Maybe we should send him some recent pictures of Denzel Washignton or Oprah Winfrey, so he is not misled!) Of course, everyone else thinks Charlie will scare Jackson...but I disagree. Charlie still has his real face and is only like 4 foot 10! Jackson might confuse him for a 12 year old boy. Ick! Yep, I'm much more worried about Charlie, and I think you should be too.

There was some new story about the fact that the Jackson trial has been much less popular than people thought it would be. The media predicted it would be more popular than the OJ trial, and apparently its not even close. It's been hypothesized that the reason for that is that molestation of children is gross to people & they don't want to talk about it because it makes them uncomfortable. Apparently murder makes better dinner conversation. I think there are different reasons, like that people are just complacent about this. We know he's weird & crazy, we've known it for like 20 years now, and in our minds, most of us have convicted him long ago so the trial is unimportant. Plus, this trial is not on TV (unless you count the E! Reenactments, which I am not). But when it comes to the verdict, I think the public will all dutifully turn the attention to that California courtroom, especially for sentencing. And then we will go back about our business. And whether he goes back to Neverland or off to prison, few people will change their opinion of him. Those that think he's just a nice guy will continue to, and those of us that think he's a child molester will continue to. All I hope is that more parents will wise up and keep there kids away from him. In the end, molester or not, he is nobody you should be leaving your children alone with.

Well, Ill try to be better about writing...there are a lot of interesting news stories to write about lately! Leave me a comment so I know you all are still out there too!

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Retreat

Okay, so I am on a retreat with my firm right now. So far it has been an interesting experience. The bus ride down sucked. We got there at like 8:30 to leave at 9am. But it was so disorganized we didn't leave until like 9:30. We got on the bus to find that the firm had supplied us with bagels, 2 coolers of beer, 1 cooler of Coke & water, and box lunches (in no cooler whatsoever!). So, we can see what the priority was. So, I decided to take a pill & sleep the for the bus ride. To avoid the drinking & since I wouldn't be eating (Who eats turkey or chicken sandwiches that have been sitting around for 4 hours unrefrigerated?? Apparently my entire summer class! Yuck!!!). Well, I apparently will never hear the end of the "professional napper" comments from the partner on my bus....which is hard to take since I want to come back with "professional alcoholic" comments but I can't. So I have been avoiding him as best I can.

But last night we went to a bar, where unexpectedly an awesome ska band was playing. So that was awesome. I pretty much just closed my eyes and drifted off to my memories of the good ol' days when I would go with my boys to concerts and let it all hang out, ya know? It was really funny to see all the preppies dance to ska music, so I drifted over to the punkers and blended in. I also had 2 ciggarettes, which I really needed to help me relax and feel more comfortable in my surroundings. I still just can't believe that these people drank from 9am to 2am and aren't dead yet. Oh well. Hopefully today will be a bit more mellow. I don't know, I'll just be glad when this 10 week hazing/interview is over!!!