Turkey Day etc.

So, I had a fabulous 4.5 days in Charlotte with K. Things went better than I hoped...altho not all the issues have been resolved. But still, he was very sweet and we had a good time. It's funny because it's all the little things that really make him happy, which is great cuz I am the same way. We are both perfectly happy to just be together...even if all we do is run errands and watch movies, ya know? It's nice.

The only negative is that now I am sick. I think I caught it from his mom's friend. Nothing too horrible, just a sore throat and the general aching thing. But I'll be fine. Just lots of sleeping and water.

So, anyway, like I said, things are good. I did start going to a shrink...an idea I've been tossing around for a while now. Of course, K says I don't need it, that he can take care of me. But I'm not sure about that. I think I need a neutral 3rd party, ya know? So, she seems very nice, and very hopeful that she can help me. She wants to try a technique that has to do with retraining your eye movements. She says it will help me with my nightmares and panic attacks. I also have to start some relaxation rituals to help with the panic attacks...like meditation and stuff. All of this will be good...altho I think I may need some more practical advice on how to deal with sex and stuff of that nature, but for now we'll see how this goes.

Anyway, I hope everyone else is doing well and that you all had fantastic turkey days!

Happiness

Last week there was a bit on one of the morning shows about happiness. They did a survey about what makes people happy. Of course, the biggest deal was that people are happier without children than with. People are happier when they are shopping or exercising than when they are playing with their children. Nobody says this means people shouldn't have kids - just that it's not the key to happiness.

But anyway, it got me thinking. What makes me happy? Like really happy? Honestly, I'm not totally sure. Not that I'm miserable. I think I'm realtively content. I wish I was making more money, because being poor is really stressful. I wish I was a little more mentally stable and a little less afraid. I wish I had more friends nearby and time to go to Disney World. But nothing really terrible is going on. I just really can't think of anything that would make me happy right now - at least anything that could actually happen. I am really looking forward to my trip to Charlotte. I miss K so much and I really need a vacation. But there are still things about all this that are so hard. And even though I know that he loves me and that everything is fine - I get scared and nervous. I know he wants to fix it all, I know he just wants me to be happy...but it's just not that easy. There's no magic switch that he can flip to just make everything all better. So, I'm excited to see him, and be in his arms, and I just hope that the love is enough to pull me through the dark spots relatively unscathed. And maybe someday, I'll be able to say that all my time with him makes me happy. For now, that's my goal.

Fucking Pigs

Okay, this video made me sick. But it is important. From what I gathered from YouTube, it is an Iranian-American student being victimized by cops at UCLA. His crime? Failing to show his ID at the library door. Watch it till the end, because the last few seconds is a cop telling another student that if he doesn't leave the scene, he will be tased as well. I can't wait for the Section 1983 suit to be filed in this case. Here is the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3GstYOIc0I

The Blues

I know its a few days late...but DAMN that was some election, wasn't it?? Honestly, I never thought it would happen - House or Senate. But both? I am in total shock. Happy, but shocked. I mean, I know that you would have to be in a coma to think that the Republicans have been doing a good job in DC, but that's what we thought in 2004, and, um, well...thanks again everyone. I am pretty excited about the NY Governor's race too. Spitzer is one of my heroes. Down here, we of course ended up with a republican governor BUT I am encouraged by the fact that during the primaries, this was the republican Jeb Bush didn't support. The only thing that makes me a bit nervous is the fact that this is a test now. The Dems have about twelve to eighteen months to prove what they can do, or else hello President McCain. And nobody wants that. I just really hope they can live up to the expectations. I wish I could drive up there and give them all a good, stern talking-to - just for good measure.

In other news...I hate Katie Couric. I always have. She is so freakin' stupid that sometimes I wonder who's dumber: her or the president - in fact some kind of trivia competition between the two of them would probably be damn entertaining. I was so happy when she left the today show cuz that meant I could start watching it again. I thought, surely, anybody would be better...even Meredith Viera. But today, she was definitely caught on camera zesting the wrong side of an orange. (For those of you thinking "Huh? Oranges don't have sides!" the orange was cut in half.) Guess I got my hopes up for nothing.

So Much To Say...

Yeah, so I was in NYC last weekend. Lots of fun. Saw my sis, Sever & Sally. Good times. As always tho, I wish I could have stayed longer...I miss them all very much!

Also, I found out more about the whole creepy dead baby scenario. Apparently they were at a Catholic Hospital, and when my mom went to the wake, she realized that they were pushing a Catholic agenda. There was a priest there telling everyone "this baby was alive for nine months" and he told my cousin not to call him an angel, call him "St James"! WTF??? A Saint??? Poor Father Baker has been sitting in that damn moseleum, trying not to decompose, waiting to become a Saint, and now this Priest tells us all he had to do was never be born??? Good grief. So yeah, that's what that was all about. They were just doing their best to convince everyone involved that life begins at conception. Fucking sick.

Georgia Bar results came out and a bunch of people from my school failed...luckily none of my friends tho, they all passed! But the gossip is damn good. Some real cocky bastards failed. That makes me smirk just a little bit. ;-)

Let's see...what else? I dunno. I feel like I have tons to talk about, but I am so sleepy!! This weekend I am going to see if the manatees are here. Then I may go to the outlets. I plan to enjoy myself and relax a bit...because its been a crazy month!!! I need some rest. So, I will go do that now...hope everyone is doing well. Goodnight.