Weddings and Funerals

Yesterday I was a birde's maid. My friend & ex-neighbor, A, got married to D, her b/f on & off for the last 5 or 6 years. I have never been in a wedding before this. It was crazy! I think that it was made more difficult by the fact that A and I have only known each other for a year. If I was in the wedding of a good, old friend, I think it would have been easier. First of all, few of my long-time friends come from families that are psychotic about their religions. Second, if I were in, say, Missy's wedding (I know that will never happen, you are NEVER getting married), and Missy were to behave completely irrationally, I would grab her by her shoulders, look her in the eye, and say "You have lost your fucking mind!" Then she would probably laugh at me, take a deep breath, and we would re-examine her psychotic break. Missy and I have known each other for like 13 years. So, this is acceptable. Not so much with someone you have only known for a year. A rarely believes me when I tell her she has lost her mind...this is a problem.

Anyhoo, there were plenty of ups and downs to the planning and execution of this tragic event. I won't recount them all. Tiffany spent 4 hours listening to them last night, so if you have any questions she is now a certified expert. But, the strangest part of the day was the end. The whole day was essentially about A, right? But at the end of the day, she was gone. I never got to talk to her about it. And I won't for a long time. She's on her honeymoon for a week and then moving three hours away with her new husband (gag). She will be busy and won't have time to talk. And it's just really weird. It felt a lot like when I went to my friend Katie's funeral. The whole day was about Katie, and Katie was the one person I couldn't talk to about any of it. Of course, Katie is gone forever and A hopefully is not. Yet, in the moment it felt the same. It made me sad.

A and I are VERY different people, but we typically have a lot of fun together. Really the only time I was ever really mad at her was after her bachelorette party...and I think I'm over that now. I was really sad when she moved out. I miss coming home and seeing her car here. She was almost always up for a movie or dinner or just talking for a few hours. But now, all that is really gone. We'll be living in different cities now, so whenever I see her it will be "on a visit." There will be that strange formality about it. One of us will feel responsible for the other's entertainment, it won't be as casual. And, of course, D will be there. D and I do not so much get along. So, definitely, something real has been lost.

But, overall the day went well. There were a few minor catastrophes, but they were all resolved behind the scenes. And, really, it's the mishaps that make the day special. We will always have the moments of crisis that happened just between the 4 of us (bride's maids and bride). And I think it's those memories that will bind us in the future. At least I hope they do. I would hate to be that stranger in her wedding pictures that her kids point to and say "Mommy who's that??" I'd prefer they say "Is THAT Aunt Mandi??? She's so much skinnier now!!" LOL So, we'll see. I hope she is having fun on her honeymoon at least. I just wish she was coming back afterwards...