Okay Barry, we are down to the wire. You know I am TOTALLY excited that, at noon tomorrow, you will be my president. And I would LOVE to be there to physically kick W's ass out of the white house. I would even wear hooker-stilletos and jam them up his anal cavity like I was Katie Couric.
But I wish that you would change one TINY little thing about tomorrow - the theme. I get that you admire Abe Lincoln, he was a pretty cool president. He did the whole civil war thing, and freed the slaves. Plus he wore that really obnoxious hat - made even more obnoxious by the fact that he was already exceptionally tall. He was a cool dude (if anyone needs proof of this, they should just watch Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure). However, do you really NEED to do so many Lincoln-esque things??? Eating his food??? Swearing on his bible??? Have you forgotten that Abe was SHOT AND KILLED??? I know, superstition is not an acceptable presidential attribute - but MUST we tempt the fates so???? I am sure you could pay tribute without touching the dead guy's bible!!! Ugh.
Okay, now that I have that off my chest, I will begin 4 (maybe 8?) years of finger-crossing. And yes, I will be coming to you for money when I get carpal tunnel syndrome. I am only an American, after all.
Good luck Barry. Make us proud.
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5 comments:
Every president who was elected in a year ending in 0, since 1840, has either died while in office or been the victim of an assasination attempt. So, if you're worried about assasination superstitions, take comfort that he has already avoided the biggest one.
Relatedly, it appears from your blog and how gassed up you are about our new president that you are suffering from a serious dose of "Bar-cock syndrome." This is similar to the outbreak of "Tebowners" which afflicted nearly every college football sportscaster during the past year. For outbreaks like these which last longer than 4 hours, you should consult your primary care physician.
RD: That is not true. W was elected in 2000 and, astonishingly, was not a victim of any such attempt (unless you count the shoe-throwing incident).
Also, I have no idea what the 2nd half of your comment means.
It is true. United 93's intended target was the White House.
But W was in Florida, so that totally doesn't count.
Totally? The terrorists didn't know that.
The second part of my 1st post was a bad attempt at humor. You have to know some college football and stuff to get it. Know thine audience, R.D. [smacking self]. Hope you are doing well.
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