Fascinating Shmascinating

Last night Barbara Walters revealed her list of the 10 most fascinating people of 2005...apparently she feels that nobody can be fascinating during the month of December, but that is beside the point. Anyhoo...I almost always watch this special, and it almost always pisses me off.

Last night, Barbara Walters announced that the MOST fascinating person of 2005 was Camilla Parker Bowles! Well, I suppose if by fascinating she means ugly, pathetic, and completely without any redeeming value, then yes, Camilla is fascinating. But somehow, I don't think that is what Ms. Walters meant exactly!

I always try to guess who it will be. This year I was thinking Jennifer Aniston (because of everyone's obsession with her break up), or Hurrican Katrina (because some magazine counted that as a "person" in one of their countdowns as a curve-ball I guess), but I finally settled on Christopher Reeve's widow, Dana. I thought she was a good bet considering her long list of charitable accomplishments, the grace with which she handled her tragedies, and her recent diagnosis with cancer. I will admit, I don't have her biography memorized, but as humanitarians go, I would have to say she's pretty high on the list. And, I think with all she has endured she is pretty damn fascinating, and she has been in the news a lot this year.

Alas, I was wrong (I always am). I mean, really, who could pass up honoring good ol' Camilla? After all, she has devoted her life to chasing after a man who is would be referred to as Mr. Personality, if he had one that is. It is rather impressive how they both cheated on their spouses without any shame at all for like 20 or 30 years and then got engaged an married in their mid-50s, and of course, who wouldn't want to honor a woman who would wear such a hideously ugly hat to her own royal wedding? Right. She was the obvious choice.

There were some other strange picks on the list. Tom Cruise was on it for the 2nd time. I guess we are fascinated by the way his brain has turned completely into mush and yet he is still able to walk and talk and even jump on couches and impregnate young women. Kanye West was also on it, because he said Bush doesn't care about black people. I blogged about it, does that make me fascinating? I guess not because nobody was looking. His interview ended on an interesting note though. Barbara asked him to finish this sentence: "Kanye West is...." And Kanye said "Black." Which is true. Although it is a little weird. If I had to finish that sentence about myself I would never say "white" or "polish" or "pasty" but I probably would say "a bitch." So I guess we both identify with our respective minority classifications! Although I think that "bitch" has more to do with my personality than my gender, but maybe that's how Kanye feels about "black." Wow. That is deep.

Anyhoo...I was glad to see Jamie Foxx and Dakota Fanning on the list, they are both decent and impressive people. Clearly there was some sort of oversight in leaving me off the list, I'm sure an intern has been fired over that glaring error. That's all for now. Goodnight.