Crawling In The Dark...

Wow! What a week! Well, so far I love my job, but I don't want to get too attached. I do have good news tho...I got an interview with a Federal Judge! His clerk called me the day they got my resume! That is very exciting. But, don't want to get too attached to that either.

Right now I'm waiting for my mom & sis to get into town. So, I'm kind of just wasting time. I was supposed to go to a comedy club with my firm tonight, but I got stuck in traffic then LOST AS FUCK!!!!!!! Yeah, like I was trapped in some kind of black whole, space-time warp thing! I really need a compass in my car so I at least know which direction hell is! LOL But, by the time I got unlost it was way too late to show up, so I then went on the hunt for food. I found a Roly Poly...which closed 30 secs before I got there. So I wound up with a sub from Publix, not bad but not great either. I called Tiffany so she could share in my oddessy as I drove aimlessly through never ending chaos, I think she really enjoyed that! LOL Well, she'll live, I mean if you can't annoy & abuse your friends, what the hell good are they?? LOL It's okay, I'm sure she'll find a "trail" somewhere in this state to pay me back with!!

Anyhoo, in other news I just visited the online journal of one of my best friends from high school. We haven't talked in a LONG time, she won't return my emails, so I gave up about 5 months ago. But I had to read this. It made me really sad. She just seems so lost, she has absolutely no love for herself. She never really did, but in high school neither did I. I was hoping she learned, but it's even worse. Either the things she writes are true and she is basically selling her mind body & soul, or she's making things up to make herself sound more interesting to people who think that behavior is cool...either way it is very sad. I wish she would talk to me, because I feel like I could tell her everything I have learned in the last 7 years and help her rise up. And I want to do that. She is an actress, singer, & dancer...really she has talent. I always expected to go to the movies and see her name in the credits...I really thought she would succeed. I didn't necessarily expect her to become a huge star, but I did think she would be one to end up "in the business" in some form...even if as a make-up artist or something. I dunno, I just feel bad now. I feel like I wish I could hug her and look in her eyes and see what is really going on, because if anyone could see it I could, and I know that.

Well, at least I can do this: Nicole, Missy, Tiffany, Michelle, Megan, Rita, Jessi, Emily, Amy, & Jessica(If you are reading this & feel left out it's because I don't know that you read my blog! So tell me dammit!): I love you all more than you will ever know, you have all changed me in ways so fundamental I wouldn't be me without you. I have done terrible things to some of you, and you have all forgiven me, and for that reason I am luckier than anyone I know. We spend so much time in our lives looking for a certain kind of love, and so often we fail to notice the simplest loves in our lives, like the person you know you could call if your Nemo breaks down, or the one who picks up the phone and listens to crap nobody cares about, or even the person who just lets you sit quietly next to them so you don't have to be alone, and particularly those who are there for you during law school breakdowns numbers 1 thru 1 million! You are all spectacular women and you will continue to do spectacular things, and no matter where you go, who you marry, or what you do, I will always be here to remind you that you are beautiful and smart and strong, whenever you need reminding. I think its important to say that while I have the chance, given all the times I have neglected to in the past. Goodnight.