I just watched the movie Night Listener. Loved it. You should watch it.
The premise of the movie is the extent people will go to escape loneliness. There are some of us who get lonely very easily, who need to be attended to all the time. People who can't live with their own thoughts, who aren't good company for themselves. I've never been that kind of person. Sure, I like attention, I am loud & inappropriate at times so that people notice me. But, even when I was a child, I always enjoyed my alone time. I like to be alone. To relax, to write, to watch TV or movies, I'm rarely bored when I'm alone. And rarely lonely. The only time I really felt lonely was when I was a teenager, and I think that was due to hormonal/biochemical malfunctions. I think my affinity for alone-time is one of the things that makes me bad at relationships - particularly romantic ones and roommate ones. I don't crave attention, so if you get in my way or bother me, I throw you away - I'd rather be alone than deal with others. Moreso now than ever, the threat of being "left alone" is not a threat to me. In fact, I really miss being alone, and I know I will miss living alone. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to give it up. Anyway, I guess I'm lucky in this way. I do remember how intense loneliness can be - from when I was ill, and I'm glad I found a cure. The people that inspired this movie never did. And in the end, it appears to have isolated them even more.
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That sounds like a scary movie! Anywho, I have finally gotten used to living in my rat's nest by myself, and it's almost time to move! Really, I would prefer living with a housefull of monkeys with my own room. I haven't had my own room for a long time now--since I've been married--and it bothers me sometimes. Dr. Reed always ends up with the spare room as the office, and we share every thing else. I read an article the other day in the NYT about couples who are now building two master suites in their houses so each of them can have their own room! That, to me, is a little extreme, but at some point I want my own space! I think I'm going to claim the 2nd bedroom closet for my own--it's big enough to be an adventure cave! Because I am procrastinating (for no reason tonight) I re-read my entire blog, which is mostly hilarious. But it made me miss you TONS!
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