So you know that classic line always attributed to domestic violence victims: "I walked into a door."? Well, I actually did. Well, a door frame. Twice. In one week. So I have bruises on BOTH of my shoulders that are sore to the touch. Most of you know that my Polish heritage has been quite a liability to me, as I hurt myself more than the average bear. But lately it is just ridiculous.
Like, I stub my toe at least once a day. I slam my fingers in desk drawers, I close my leg in the car door, I cut myself with my toothbrush, I burn myself when I cook, I hit my head on my drunk, I fall out of my shoes. The list could go on and on. I am truly a menace to myself. And there is virtually nothing I can do about it. In fact, being careful often leads to more injuries!
I really worry that someday K will have to drive me to an ER and tell a Dr. that I walked into a door and that is why I am unconscious and bleeding from the head. And who will believe that? He is a 260 pound black man and I am 130 pound white girl. He will be in handcuffs before I get an icepack! This could really be a catstrophe some day.
So, I am telling you all now, while I am of sound mind and body, if K ever calls any of you and asks you to take me to the ER, just do him the favor and comply. It will save us all some bail money in the end. Thank you.
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2 comments:
My brother had to take a kid in his dorm to the hospital one time, because he had busted his head open on the door (or doorframe, I can't remember). You know, just playing around. Be careful, you!
I thought I was the only one to cut myself with my toothbrush. Damn, that hurts! Freaking Polacks, we are.
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