It seems that no matter how much time passes, and how much my life changes, there are some people that will always be able to just rip my heart open. One of my former best friends is one such person. Even after all the bullshit and all the times she hurt me, I look at her and think that she is just so beautiful and how I just wish I could take care of her, but she is so far away. Not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, and seemingly all the ways that two people can be far apart. What's worse, is that she sounds so sad, and I have tried so hard to mend things between us, but she won't budge an inch.
Honestly, I don't know why she is so mad at me. I think I remember what our last fight was about, and I am pretty sure that I was the one who was mad at her. But, no matter what, I am positive it had to do with one of our boyfriends, both of whom we have thought better of since then. So, working on the whole "Bros B4 Hos, Sistas B4 Mistas" principle, we should be back to normal by now. But we aren't. And nobody can believe it, because we used to be like one person. So, I just check in on her blog once in a while and comment anonymously, and hold back what I really want to say because it would give me away. I can still read right thru her words, and I can tell what is a shield and what is real, and it's hard not to break thru the glass and scream what I know she needs to hear, but I guess that's just how this life will go.
3 comments:
Ive read some of your posts, and I think you're way too hard on yourself.
Not knowing you very well, I will assume that whatever happened betwen you and your friend was pretty trivial. She should have forgiven you by now.
But the thing is that there may be other factors in her life that are preventing her from being forgiving not related to you, and she's using you as a scapegoat. Why? Becaue we as humans always blame the wrong person.
Keep on being as good a friend to her in this situation, and I think she'll come around eventually. If not, she wasn't much of a friend anyway and she actually did you a favor by getting scarce.
OMG *head explodes*
What an insane blog meeting...
LOL I wonder what a headless schmoe looks like!!
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