Real Life Nightmares

I watched Oprah yesterday. I don't watch everyday, only when I am particularly interested in the day's topic. The topic yesterday was domestic violence. And I saw images that I don't think I will ever be able to get out of my head.

The main story was about a woman who had her face blown off by her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was a psychopath who stormed into her home, accused her of hiding another man from him, killed her mother, and then shot her in the face. The other man was, of course, imaginary. This woman's face is completely destroyed. She covers in with bandages so that all you see when you talk to her are her eyes and chin. When the bandages are off, well it's simply horrible. The stories she told broke my heart. One in particular about how a little boy in a store started to cry when she walked past him, and then told his mother "that lady scared me." Not that it was his fault, he is a child and a woman with her face covered in gauze would scare him. But that is what she has to deal with everyday. I'm not sure that I wouldn't wish for death if I was her. I hope she is stronger than I am.

Of course this wasn't the first time this guy had been violent toward her, and of course hers wasn't the only horrible story Oprah presented yesterday..it was just the most visually disturbing. Of course everyone asks these women why they didn't leave, and the answer is always the same: "I was afraid. He threatened to kill my family if I left." So what choice do these women have? Fighting back won't work...I don't know many women who can physically overcome their male counterparts. Leaving won't work...either he will make good on his threats or stalk her & track her down. The only chance these women have is to kill these men in their sleep, oh yeah, and then they go to prison. Personally, I think that killing your husband or boyfriend shouldn't be a crime under any circumstances...there is always a good reason...but at the very least, ridding the world of these disgusting worthless monsters should get you a medal rather than an orange jumpsuit.

But, since I don't run the world yet, here is the answer: LEAVE! No matter what his threat is, no matter how much you think you love him, no matter how afraid you are, LEAVE! If he is going to kill you and/or your family, he is going to do it no matter what. And there is no real mother in this world who wouldn't happily give her life for her daughter's safety. If you stay, he will kill you. If you leave, you at least have a chance. So run like hell. Leave your job, your home, your clothes, none of it matters. A life with him is no life at all. It is better to be poor than dead, better to be alone than dead. Every second you stay is a victory for him

If there was ever a sliver of a chance that I might date a guy again, it is completely gone now. The most dangerous man in the world is the one you are sleeping with.