You Might Be An Asexual If....

1. You think thongs are more useful as slingshots
2. Best use of a condom = water balloon.
3. You think a prick is a minor injury.
4. While watching movies, you use the make-out scenes as perfect opportunities to get snacks (or go to the bathroom, or text message…)
5. You know what “ineffable” really means.
6. You think being “friends with benefits” means getting to borrow your buddy’s discount card.
7. You know one doesn’t have to be the loneliest number.
8. You have trouble assembling things because inserting Tab A into Slot B just seems like a weird idea…
9. When someone mentions “forking” you say you’d much rather spoon.
10. You think a “happy ending” massage is one in which you and your massage therapist walk into the sunset as the credits roll.
11. You think a “spanish fly” is an insect (Wait… if it’s not an insect, then what is it??)
12. You think spanking the monkey is animal abuse.
13. You see anything that vibrates as something that would feel SO good on the muscles after a hard day’s work.
14. You’re concerned that a roll in the hay might get you covered in deer ticks.
15. To you, sex is like slapstick comedy - funny, but not something you would want to experience firsthand!!

If you answered yes to any of these… well… you might be an asexual