My SJP Moment...

So there I was, 4am Wednesday morning, sitting on the floor of a hotel room in Charlotte, typing an entry in my journal and smoking, while K was sleeping on the other side of the room. Very SJP, I love it! Well, at that point, I was not doing so good. I was feeling pretty crappy: physically, mentally, spiritually, every way possible. I actually went 2 of the 4 nights there without sleep, I sat up typing in my journal, playing around on the internet, and listening to music. Mostly because I just have so much going on in my brain when I'm with him. The 2nd night I even took a Xanax and still couldn't sleep. But now, I'm feeling much better. Although pretty lonely.

The last 5 days in Charlotte went pretty well. Things with his family were fine. I had tons of fun playing with his brother's kids and I got along really well with his cousins. His mom, well, he says she likes me but she definitely scares me a bit. She is very much a person who is used to being in charge and so very quickly started sort of telling me what to do. I don't deal well with that. So, hopefully that will change overtime. She'll start to realize that I am not her kid and I will be less offended by the demands. But, like I said, K says she really likes me, so that's good.

As far as the two of us, I think it was a good visit over all. I miss him so much already. I got used to being next to him practically 24 hrs/day and it sucks that I won't see him again until probably the end of August. And maybe not even then, maybe not until the end of September! That is a long time away.

He's really trying hard to find a job that will bring him down here more often. It's hard for me because of course I really want him to be here all the time, but I also don't want him changing his whole life around just for me. But I'm having a hard time not being selfish with this whole thing. He says he's gonna tell his job that he wants them to send him to Florida more and I know I should say "It's okay baby, do your job, I don't mind." But I don't say that because I want him here. Christ, sometimes I just want him to quit his job & be here all the time. Of course I don't really want him to do that. I'm so proud of him that he has taken such good care of himself all this time and that he has such a good job that pays good money, I certainly don't want him to be unemployed living off of me like every other loser I've ever dated. I just want him here though.

So, anyway, as far as what we did over the last five days, I spent a lot of time watching him & his family fish. That was fine though cuzz I hung out with his one cousin, A, who is totally cool. He's only 17 but we had a lot of fun hanging out together & stealing K's car once in a while! LOL We also went to the mall (although not nearly long enough!), went to a BBQ at some rich guy's house, and saw Superman Returns. But a lot of our time we were just hanging out at his brother's house or running errands. It really didn't matter what we did, I was just happy to see him and be with him.

The funniest thing about the whole weekend was the fact that his family just can't believe how much I stand up to him. I mean, on the one hand I do take care of him to a certain extent, but he takes care of me too. But at the same time, I do NOT respond to orders from him at all. If he wants something from me he needs to ask nicely or I tell him to fuck off. The 1st time his mom heard me tell him that she was shocked! Definitely impressed, but still shocked. I even had him saying Please & Thank You to the kids, which totally shocked his family too. It's so funny. I guess that's one of my favorite things about my relationship with him - the fact that I know his secrets. Like I know that as tough as he pretends to be, nothing scares him more than being alone. So he can be all angry and mean acting, but in the end he's going to do whatever he has to do for me because he doesn't want me to leave. It's too cute.

Anyway, so mission accomplished. No major tragedies. We're still waiting for everything to get done with the house. That is definitely stressing him out. Also he can't get his computer to work, so his wireless isn't working which is really bad because he needs it while he's on the road. Hopefully this will all get fixed in the next day or two so he can get back on the road with no problems. As for me...back to bar review!!! YUCK!