The Fam

So, as you know, my grandmother died on Monday. Her obit was published yesterday – full of lies and weirdness.

1. It says she was the “beloved wife of” my late grandfather. This is total crap. My grandparents were separated for as long as I can remember. I think at least 20 years before my grandfather died, which was almost 17 years ago. My grandfather was a violent alcoholic who beat my grandmother regularly. And my grandmother had many, many boyfriends throughout her marriage. They were never officially divorced because they thought they couldn’t afford it. But they didn’t have any kind of marriage for at least the last 50 or so years – if they ever really had one at all. Plus, my grandfather died 17 years ago, and my grandmother died in her boyfriend’s car! Listing her as the beloved wife of anyone is just insane. It makes me wonder if my grandfather’s obit said “beloved husband of”? How queer. Who does my father think he’s fooling.
2. It lists my mother as still married to my father. This pissed her off royally. It didn’t list my uncle’s ex-wife, just my mother. Again, my father did this.
3. Also, it lists all of her kids, dead and alive. Which means 2 Orvilles (it's a hideous name, I know). Now for those of you who know me, you know that my grandfather was Orville Jr., then they had a stillborn son and named him Orville R. (I don’t know what the R stands for), then they had another son and named him Orville III, and he died in 1992. So the obit says “beloved wife of Orville Jr” and mother of “the late Patricia Ann, Orville R. and Orville.” It omits the “III”, which is odd. And I don’t know if the grammar is correct, but I’m not sure its clear that all 3 of those kids are dead. Plus, what will people think that she had 2 kids with the same name?!?!? They will think she was nuts! Which she was, but still. I dunno. I guess it’s only right to include all the kids, so there is no better way to do it, but it’s just weird and creepy.

It was weird to see my name in there. And weird to think that the funeral is tomorrow and I’m not there. I have no desire to be there, but it feels like I am avoiding an obligation. And it’s strange to miss my last opportunity to look at her, even though I have no love for her. I haven’t seen her in 5 years though, so I may not even recognize her. I didn’t recognize my great-grandmother at her funeral, or my uncle at his. My father told my sis that today (the wake) would suck cuz he would have to see a lot of people he hates. I’d love to be a fly on the wall to see who shows up – and to see her boyfriend! I mean, the woman was over 80 years old, about 300 pounds, hooked up to an oxygen tank & sporting a beehive! Who was dating her? More weirdness. So, anyway, that is my creepy & pointless story for today!