Take Two

Last night I had a nightmare about E. I woke up and I was crying all morning, thinking that what happened in my dream could easily happen in real life. So, I just called K and told him how sad I was, and that I have been sad for 3 weeks, and I can't take it anymore. He said he doesnt want me to be sad, and he hates the idea of him making me sad. So I told him that I cant face a lifetime of E. I feel like she is a constant threat, and will be for the rest of our lives. I said everytime we fight I worry that she will be my punishment. And he said no, that is how he used to be, but he has never loved anyone as much as me and he wouldn't do that to me. He says he doesn't want to be with anyone but me, and I am his best friend. He said that to him, she is nothing so he doesn't see how I can worry. So then, we are talking & I am crying and out of nowhere he says "I won't talk to her anymore. Okay? Does that fix it? Will u be happier then?" And I said "Well, I never asked for you to cut her out completely..." and he says "I know, but I will. I don't want to lose you. So I will get rid of her." So, I told him that I will try to move on from this then. I don't know if I can, but I will try. He says he just loves me and wants me to be happy, and if I am not happy with him then I should leave, but he doesn't want me to. So, I told him I won't leave. We will try to get better and move on and just see what happens. So that's where we are now.