My Mommy

Well, it's almost mother's day. So, in honor of that, he is a very incomplete list of things my mommy has taught me:

1. Life is a weed out process
2. Shut the cupboard doors - you don't live in a barn
3. Always look for a coupon
4. Grapefruit & egg diets backfire
5. Smoking is sexy until you are coughing up green stuff at your future sister-in-law's bridal shower
6. Everything in life can be related to TV or movies
7. It's okay to laugh at funerals - unless it's a child
8. Religion is the root of all evil
9. Always have a fun book
10. It's better to be an hour early than 5 minutes late
11. It's okay to swear, sometimes there is just no other word
12. That she will always have my back, even against authority figures
13. It's better to risk getting arrested than to walk away from your sick child
14. Your cell phone doesn't help much if you put it in your purse and leave your purse on top of your car when you drive away
15. Never put anything in writing you wouldn't want the whole world to read
16. Open the door before you turn off the lights
17. Mis-matched socks are a sign of strength

To be continued...