Scarves = Terrorism

Either Rachael Ray or her stylist, or both, are terrorists. Apparently they missed the latest Fox News memo announcing the connection between scarves and terrorists. Or maybe they DID read the memo and chose the scarf on purpose to communicate their sympathies to Bin Laden! So sneaky!!!

Either way, this new fashion rule is going to be difficult to adjust to, since white people love their scarves. But, I guess truly patriotic white people already knew about this and threw out their scarves on September 12, 2001. So this will really only be difficult for people who live in blue states.

Back to the Grind

For a week at least! This has been a CRAZY month!!! First K was here, then JG, then K again. This weekend I went to Ft. Lauderdale for my friend's daughter's 1st birthday. But today I was back to work and VERY BUSY!!! I was working pretty much non-stop from 7:30am to 4:30pm....which is very unusual for me! I did get to go grab quizno's for lunch, but that was my only break. I even worked while I ate!!

At 4:30 I was totally caught up, so tomorrow should be less busy. But Thursday we have 5 sentencings & a picnic. Then on Saturday I have to go to Tampa to meet with the leasing people at my new apartment. Then next Tuesday my sister will be here!! Woohoo!!! We are gonna spend 3 whole days at Disney World!! Yay!!! My mom gets here next thursday, and K may be back next saturday. On Monday (the 9th) they all leave and I will take a VERY LONG nap!!!

But the craziness will start up again at the end of June when I have a bench trial (which is a lot more work for me than a jury trial), and then in the beginning of July I am going to my hometown for my high school reunion!

I think this summer is gonna fly by, which sucks because it just means that the end of this fabulous job will come too soon. So I am gonna try my best to enjoy every moment of it.

Mini-Vent

I'm watching the How I Met Your Mother from a couple of weeks ago. In this episode Ted finds out that his g/f didn't have sex for 5 years and all of his friends freak out. Like going 5 years without sex is such a big deal. That's how long I went and actually, it was great and it flew by. It really bothered me to watch this episode and the things people said about this girl. How she "needed" to get some, and how desperate she must be. It was just ridiculous. I guess for guys it's a big deal to go five days without sex, but I think that most of the women I know could easily go years without sex and not have a problem. I mean, when it's not in your life, it's just not there. Other things are going on, it's really not that big of a deal. I mean, I realize that not everyone hates sex like I do, but I still think that most women could give it up without much of a problem. I'm not sure why female actresses don't say to their script writers that women don't really talk that way. I mean, I knew guys who were shocked that I didn't have sex for 5 years, but all of my girlfriends thought it was no big deal. I just hate how TV shows make it seem like life without sex is miserable. GRR!

Let's Do Some Math...

This morning, at 6:20am, a local radio station gave out 8 gallons of free gas to the 1st 105 people to show up at a particular gas station. Gas in Orlando is about $3.75/gallon right now, so that works out to around 28 dollars worth of gas. People started lining up at 11:30 last night for this free gas. That means they waited for 7 hours to get 28 bucks!!! That's $4/hr. Well below minimum wage.

Why would people do that??? I mean, sit in a gas station parking lot for $4/hr??? Would they take a job that paid like that??? It's like the crazy people who camped out at Ikea. I just don't understand it.

I Heart David Cook

How excited am I about American Idol????? VERY excited! I have been loving Mr. Cook all season long, but I never thought he would ACTUALLY win!!! This marks only the 2nd time in seven years that AI has gotten it right! (The first time being season one with Kelly Clarkson, of course.)

I didn't watch the entire 2 hour extravaganza, but the parts I did see were pretty damn good. I LOVED David Cook with ZZ Top!!! David A. with One Republic was kind of a disaster though. Also, I don't think I realized that One Republic was white until last nite! LOL I was excited to see George Michael but I didn't like his song...it was like he was singing a speech or something. Very "I'm in a musical."

Besides the end result, the highlight of the night was Paula standing up and shaking her booty during like EVERY SINGLE PERFORMANCE! I wonder if the people sitting behind her were warned in advance that their seats had an obstructed view!

I am a little worried about David A. - I hope his father didn't beat him last night. But I think he will still get a record deal, make one album, and disappear into the night. I really don't think he has any long-term potential as a pop star.

As much as I love David Cook, I was worried that the teeny bopper vote would outweigh the people who actually listen to the music. But I was blissfully wrong! I'm sure it didn't hurt that the David A. fans had to be in bed by 9pm and couldn't vote as much as the grown ups! LOL Myself, I only managed to get through 5 times on Tuesday to vote. Still, he won by 12 million votes! Woohoo!! I am so excited, I can't wait for his album!

He's Baaaaaaack!!!!!!

Yep, it's true. K is here again. No, you are not being punk'd. He is sleeping on the new couch as I type. Crazy, right? I think he should be gone again by Thursday...but it's almost starting to feel like we live together! LOL

Wow.

Talk about your great weekends! Mine was fabulous, thanks for asking! Here's the recap:

Friday: Left work at 4 to go get my newly delivered camera. Then went to happy hour with peeps from work. The food was good, though over priced & the service was terrible. But the company was great and I had fun! Then I went home to my couch!!!

Saturday: SHOPPING! Yes, I continue to stimulate the economy. You're welcome. I bought extra memory for my camera, some new clothes at Target, 2 new purses and baby gifts. Then I went to downtown disney to renew my annual pass. The rest of the day was spent where?? You guessed it! On my couch.

Sunday: DISNEY WORLD!!!! With one of my monkeys (JG) and her hubby (ironically, also JG...so we will call him H for hubby!). We had a great time! I met them at the Disney Hollywood Studios (f/k/a Disney MGM Studios) at 8:30 am. We rode Rockin' twice, Tower twice, did the movie ride, the backlot tour and muppets 3D! Then JG and H went to take a power nap and I went to Best Buy (bought a new bluetooth) and the Outlets (blazer & halter top).

Then I met JG & H at the Magic Kingdom for more fun times! There we rode Pirates, Haunted Mansion, Thunder Mt., Spalsh Mt, the Mad Tea Party ride and this Buzz Lightyear thing in Tomorrowland. At 8pm it started to rain, so I headed home but JG & H stayed to ride Space Mt. I got home by like 9:30, but I was EXHAUSTED!!! And soaking wet, and smelling like ass.

So, there are at least 3 stories of me being a polak that should be told:

1. On the Mad Tea Party ride, H was in charge of the spinning. And he spun us like a mad man!!! And I was laughing and leaned my head back and my $200 prescription sunglasses fell off my head! Nice. Luckily, H also stand for "hero" because he spotted my glasses, spinning around us on the ground. H Kept watch on them until the ride stopped & then jumped out & rescued them! YAY!

2. We went on Splash Mountain. JG & H sat in front to protect me from the splashing. No such luck. They came out slightly sprinkled on. I was SOAKING WET!!! Literally, I could ring out my shirt and water came pouring out! My ass was wet, my back was the worst. It was AWFUL! So, I was lookin' sexy for the rest of the night.

3. We stopped to get a fast pass for a ride (I forget which one). I put my ticket in, and the fast pass comes out. Then the wind picks it up and it FLIES away from me! Those of u in the know are aware that you can't get another fast pass until like an hour or two later! So I had to chase it! So, picture me, running around with my ass in the air and my nose to the ground chasing a tiny piece of paper around the park. Again, very sexy. Yes, I did catch it. Phew.

Still, even with me being a walking mini-disaster we had a FABULOUS time!!! Now I am exhausted & the chances of me drooling on my desk at some point today are about 75%. Hope you all have a good monday!

It's Here!!!

Most of you have seen this already, but for those who haven't yet:

Selfishness

Many of you already know that I cannot STAND Andy Rooney. Why CBS gives him 5 minutes a week to say whatever he wants, I will never understand. This past Sunday he was talking about all the stuff people send him. He called it "junk mail" and went through various gifts and criticized them. Some of the stuff was just like little trinkets or whatever. But there were also nice things. Like umbrellas and gift certificates to restaurants and books. He talked about how useless all these things were to him and basically complained about people's generosity. But ya know what? He still keeps the stuff! Don't you think he could do something productive with it? For example, he had two $100 gift certificates to a seafood restaurant in Miami that he admits he has no intention of using. Well, why not send them to a food bank in Miami? Or a school and buy lunch for a bunch of inner city kids? Or even just send them back to the restaurant and say "please do something good with this money." It may not work, but it's better than letting them just sit in his office. He also mentioned getting tons of umbrellas. Well, maybe when you leave your office everyday you can take one and hand it to someone who needs it. I think he works in NYC, there are plenty of homeless people who could use umbrellas. The only thing just made me sick. And I know he is a grouch old man and doesn't care what I think, so I won't write him a letter. I will just share my bitching with all of you.

Irresponsible Patriotism

I got my "economic stimulus rebate" from the IRS on Friday. I used it to renew my Disney annual pass and buy this:



Tee hee.

So Much To Say

I have so much to write about!! I may do more than one entry today, especially since I am so NOT swamped at work right now! Ugh. But, I will start with a wrap up of K's visit.

Well, K has been here for TEN WHOLE DAYS!!!!! Good lord! I think he will be leaving today, but obviously I have thought that about 4 times this week, so I am not sure of anything.

Honestly, it has been a really good visit. On Thursday we started to get a little sick of each other, but by Saturday we were over it. We had one major fight on Sunday at like 1am, but that was totally my fault & we are both over it now. Other than that we had a lot of fun.

So, here is the funny/cute highlight of the week:

Okay, the background of this is that we threw out my old couch & recliner on Thursday night. So, there was nothing to sit on in my living room unless we used the dining room chairs, NOT very comfortable for TV watching. So, instead, we moved the twin bed from the guest room into the living room. MUCH better.

On Friday night the dealership called to say K's truck was finished, so we thought he'd be leaving Saturday. Friday night I went to bed before K, fell asleep, and a few hours later he got in the bed. Within an hour he is snoring like a freight train. So I get up & go sleep on the bed in the living room. Even with my earplugs, I could still hear a low rumble, but it wasn't too loud to keep me up. So, I fell asleep. Then, all of a sudden, his snoring gets SOOOOOOOOOOOOO loud! Wakes me up! It's about 8am. My first thought is "Holy Shit. We have to break up. No apartment is big enough for the 2 of us!" So I laid there for a bit pondering how he could be so much louder and thought "Hmm. Maybe he got up to pee and left the bedroom door open." So, I get up with the intention of checking the bedroom door. As I stand up I see K, SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!!!! He is laying on one blanket, covered with another, and using his arm as a pillow.

So I walk over to him & nudge him with my foot.

K: Hey baby.
Me: What are u doing?
K: Sleeping on the floor.
Me: I see that. WHY are you sleeping on the floor???
K: It's my last night. I wanted to lay with you.
Me: But you brought the snore with you!!!!
K: Oh, I wasn't supposed to snore out here.
Me: DUH!!!
K: I'm sorry.
Me: It's okay baby. Let's go lay in the big bed.

So we did. I said "I love you, weirdo." and he said "You're the weirdo. Who stands over someone when they're sleeping??" Good grief.

When my mom heard this story she said "Awwww!!! He's like a puppy following his owner!" LOL

So that is the top story of the week. My new couch will be here Thursday. K should be back on the road this afternoon. It's all very bittersweet.

My Mommy

Well, it's almost mother's day. So, in honor of that, he is a very incomplete list of things my mommy has taught me:

1. Life is a weed out process
2. Shut the cupboard doors - you don't live in a barn
3. Always look for a coupon
4. Grapefruit & egg diets backfire
5. Smoking is sexy until you are coughing up green stuff at your future sister-in-law's bridal shower
6. Everything in life can be related to TV or movies
7. It's okay to laugh at funerals - unless it's a child
8. Religion is the root of all evil
9. Always have a fun book
10. It's better to be an hour early than 5 minutes late
11. It's okay to swear, sometimes there is just no other word
12. That she will always have my back, even against authority figures
13. It's better to risk getting arrested than to walk away from your sick child
14. Your cell phone doesn't help much if you put it in your purse and leave your purse on top of your car when you drive away
15. Never put anything in writing you wouldn't want the whole world to read
16. Open the door before you turn off the lights
17. Mis-matched socks are a sign of strength

To be continued...

All Is Well

K and I had a really great weekend. He's still here, actually, snoring loudly in my apartment while I am here at work. Hopefully I will get out early though. So, here's the weekend recap:

Friday morning I had my Doctor appointment and it went really well. I was diagnosed with 2 physical problems and he told me he doesn't think my issues are psychological at all. So, he gave me to Rxs and referred me to a physical therapist - yes, it's true, I need physical therapy for my vagina. Truly, I don't think my life could be more bizarre if I tried. But still, all the news is good & he thinks that within 3-5 months I will be all better! He said I will be a "new woman" - K and I are both a little apprehensive about meeting this "new" CJ, but still we are happy.

Friday afternoon we stopped by my office so K could meet more people and we had some cake b/c it was MH's birthday. K was hella nervous as usual, but we only stayed for a few minutes. That night I made dinner!!! K actually liked it & nobody died. Hooray!

Saturday we ran some errands. I bought K some of those clip-on sunglass things (think Dwayne Wayne) because he has NEVER worn sunglasses to drive!! That is just insane. So now he has sunglasses and he looks so cute in them. Saturday night we had dinner with friends (I got to play with a baby!!). And then we went home and watched Juno...all night saturday I had nightmares about being pregnant! Too much baby stuff. Juno was a great movie though, very funny, smart and cute. As expected.

Sunday we went furniture shopping and bought a couch!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How excited am I??? It is so nice! And I'm really glad that K went with me. We totally picked it out together, and it was great that our tastes really matched up. We really didn't argue about it at all. I tried to find a pic of it online but it's not on the RTG website! I have no idea why. So, once it's delivered I will take pics and post them. But for now, it's a sectional & it's green suede. It is HUGE and fluffy and just wonderful. I am so excited.

Sunday night we had chinese food, watched TV and CJ got a back massage! Lovely!

I don't think we had a single argument this weekend. And everything was just wonderful. Makes you a little sick, right? Me too...but in a good way. ;-)