"Walking Wounded"

I have spent a good amount of time in the last 2 weeks getting to know a Vietnam Vet who was seriously wounded by a grenade. It's been quite the experience, and I have learned an awful lot.

When I was a kid, my grandfather was a member of the Veteran's of Foreign Wars (VFW) Post. Until I was about 10, I thought "Veteran" meant "old." Even after learning the true meaning, I never really imagined Veteran's being my age, part of my generation. But this past summer, one of my co-workers was an Iraq War Vet, literally freshly back from war. He was lucky enough to escape with no physical injuries, but the experience had changed his whole life. He was in his 1st year of law school when he got the call to go to Iraq, so he went for a year, came back and had to re-take the entire 1st year again, so he was 2 years behind. While he was gone his wife began to suffer from clinical depression, so the woman he returned to was not quite the one he left. And now, they spend everyday in fear that he will be sent back. And like I said, he is one of the lucky ones.

My mother works at a Veteran's Hospital, she's been there for 30 years. She's seen Vets from Korea, WWII, Vietnam, Desert Storm, and now Iraq. Her one observation so far is that there are a good deal more amputees with this war, because medical technology has improved and soldiers that would have died in 'Nam are surviving now, and coming back as amputees. As stupid as it sounds, I just can't imagine someone my age taking the place of all those WWII amputees I remember seeing in the hospital as a child.

I know very little about the operation of the military. I don't know why there are some members who have yet to be sent to Iraq, while others have gone 2 or 3 times. I don't understand how a person can stand the kind of rigid structure and absolute respect for authority demanded by the military. And I am more than willing to admit my ignorance in those areas.

What I do know is that the physical injuries are only the beginning. The mental and emotional injuries are worse. The PTSD, Depression, Alcoholism, Anxiety and Panic Disorder that follow can be far more devastating, and can effect even those who look unharmed on the outside. These problems are the reason that Vets end up homeless, suicidal, or even homicidal. And these problems are largely ignored by society.

The Vietnam Vet that I met last week has suffered tremendous bouts with depression and panic disorder, and to hear him talk about it is heartbreaking. I don't want this to happen to my friends, and my sisters friends. I don't want us to be another Vietnam generation, I can't believe this is happening to us, it really seems like a bad dream. I look at pictures and newspaper clippings of the protests during Vietnam, my mom was a protestor who was tear-gassed by the cops at her college. Our parents fought so hard to make the government accountable. they fought so hard to save as many troops as they could, they thought for sure the government would never be able to do that again. But here we are. Back then the "evil enemy" was the communists, today it's muslims. How can a country that lived through Vietnam, not see that now?

I have never understood why Veteran's were so offended by war protestors. Don't they understand that we are trying to save the lives of our military? We don't want a generation of Vets because we know how much they suffer, not because we disrespect them. War is political, and peoples lives should not be thrown away for politics. Especially not for these kinds of politics. My new friend understands what is going on here, he loves the war protestors and understands that we are on his side and that we are patriots. He sees that this is Vietnam all over again, that there is no exit strategy and no end in sight, and that all we can do is keep sending more bodies to Iraq, and keep losing more young lives. It is a true tragedy.

My heart breaks for the children whose fathers will come back depressed, traumatized, and removed. I feel for the 19 and 20 year old kids who will lose arms or legs, or their minds. They will return to a country that ignores the needs of its soldiers. An administration that is giving tax breaks to millionaires and paying their military a barely livable wage. VA hospitals have terrible reputations for being unclean, disorgainized, and in some cases even fraudulent and reckless. But that is where we will send our wounded. I wonder how many generations will see lives wasted and destroyed before this country realizes that war isn't always the answer, that just because you have guns doesn't mean you need to use them.

It seems that everynight the evening news gives us the total number of casualties from Iraq, but that number is a drastic underestimate. Even when they include the injured, they don't include the injuries that don't bleed on the outside. It makes me hope that I am wrong, that there is a God, and a heaven and a hell, so that the men responsible for this terrible atrocity they call a "War on Terrorism" will have to answer for their crimes, their greed, and the terror they have caused.