Family Matters

Okay, so I hardly ever do the "refer to people by their initials thing" but for this story I am going to, so deal. Here is the cast: My mom's best friend from high school is J. J's two daughters, D & K. And J's ex-husband Z (who is actually a D, but that would be too confusing!! LOL). Okay, now here's the dilemma/real life soap opera....

I guess it was about 10 years ago that J & Z got divorced. Z was sleeping with his secretary. Z married his secretary about 6 months after the divorce. J became a flight attendant and moved to Chicago, and then to LA. D, is the oldest daughter. D got married about 5 or 6 years ago and had a baby, C, 2 years ago. K is getting married this year.

My mom & J have stayed friends and just went out for coffee with her last weekend. J and D were both in town, staying with K. I think some kind of wedding thing was going on. Apparently, D & K are very angry at J and so it was a tense weekend. Guess what they are mad at her for??? Breaking up "the family." Yep. That's right. They are NOT mad at Z for being an asshole and having an affair, they are mad at J for moving out. K is angry because there is no "family home" for her to have her shower at!! Now, there is Z's huge 4 bedroom mansion that he lives in with his secretary...they could have had the shower there, but only if J agreed to pay for it! Because clearly Z is broke, and J, as a flight attendant with no alimony, is completely loaded. Oh no wait! That is completely backwards.

Now, I must add that K is 28 and D is 32...because it sounds like they are about 4 years old in this story!!

So I am completely disgusted with D & K. How can they side with Z, who is TOTAL scum and cheated on their mom??? Where is the female bonding here? Well, according to my mom, D & K don't know that their dad had an affair. Apparently his quick remarriage didn't tip them off. And J won't tell them, because (a) she doesn't want to "bash" their dad (ya know, with the truth!) and (b) she is embarrassed that he cheated on her. Can you believe this??? I cannot.

So, I want to say this to all the mothers out there: Don't keep these kinds of secrets from your adult daughters! If I were D or K and found out my mom had kept this from me I would be extremely upset. I would be so angry that I spent all these years feeling sorry for my dad, who is a total prick, when I could have been bonding with my mom. Plus, D is married and K will be soon. Someday, they may find themselves in J's position: with a dick for a husband. Maybe they could learn from her mistakes, and maybe they would like to have someone to talk to about things like that. At this point in their lives, they should have a friendship with their mother.

And even if Z hadn't cheated on J, D & K are still being ridiculous. They were both out of high school when J & Z got divorced. They are adults. They don't need a "family home" to have parties at!! Their parents could just as easily have moved to some golf community in Florida! I mean for God's sake grow up!!!!!!!! This is just so ridiculous! And I feel bad for J. Her daughters are treating like some slut who walked out on her family to re-live her teen years. That is so not what happened. I just want to call D & K (we did grow up together, or at least I grew up and they just got taller!) and scream at them! But, I can't. It is none of my business. Therefore, I blog.